Put on your shades, because things are about to get BRIGHT

So, lately I've been obsessed with sun rays. And, I kid you not, a week doesn't go by without me seeing them poking through the clouds. Against a dark cloud, they are distinct and I almost expect a bunch of angels to appear every time. It's an amazing sight, really, to behold. But, as I'm coming to realize, those rays don't only show off their beauty; they also like to directly relate to my life.

When I was, like, eight, I announced to my mom that I didn't believe the sun had rays because I'd never seen them before. I only drew them in pictures (you know, those lines coming out of the colored-in circle made by a yellow Crayola marker) but had never seen sun rays before in my life. So, because I was so well-learned at the ripe old age of eight, I concluded that I had enough experience to proclaim that such rays did not exist. Right after this conclusion, I jumped into my cousin's pool with my nifty goggles on and saw sun rays coming through the water. I almost choked and surfaced for air. I don't remember if I told my mom about how my conclusion was proved wrong so quickly, but I do remember be surprised.

For some reason, that memory has stuck with me. Maybe because I've been keenly aware of those beams of light lately. Maybe because it provides a good anecdote for blog entries like this one. Maybe it's just God's way of introducing a new concept into my life...even though it took me about 11 years to realize it.

Being "salt and light" is a cliche Christian phrase. Salt keeps things flavored and preserved, so, as Christians, we're supposed to preserve the word and also flavor life and other's lives with our knowledge of Jesus Christ. And light...well, that's obvious. The world is dark. Not so much physically, as in we carry around flashlights everywhere or else we couldn't see, but as far as current morals and ethics go...we're hurtin'. Big time.

But let's say, for argument's sake, the world is totally dark. Like someone turned off all the lights in a window-less room and no one has any form of light to maneuver around safely. So we're all just blindly running amuck with no real direction because we have no light to help or guide us. As a follower of Christ, I'm supposed to be a flashlight in the darkness.

I mean, I'm only supposed to try to lead people to Christ. No pressure or anything. Just kidding...kind of. Of course, that is in my job description. But another necessary part of the Christ-follower deal is that I have to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. A blue light doesn't pretend to be a red light the same way I shouldn't proclaim Christ if I don't actively follow him. Being a light is a beacon of hope. If I can resist cheating at school or dressing inappropriately or watching my language, that is such a testament to what I put my faith in. People notice when I don't do those things, just like people notice when there's a light in a dark room.

Being a sun ray bursting through a cloud is a too-beautiful comparison for myself. It's too...heavenly. And I am far from that. Yeah, sometimes I do hide my light under a cup, or at least put a lampshade over it so it isn't quite so bright. But I'm working on not doing that so much anymore. I want to shine. I want to be able to push dark aside. I want to be bright.

The good news? I'm not alone. There's an even brighter light coming. And the world will stay dark until this light comes. I tell you the truth, Jesus Christ is going to come back. And even those who hide from my light now won't be able to escape the blinding brightness of Christ. So put your sunglasses on, because things are about to get a whole new light shed on them.

"Shine your light and let the whole world see, I'm singin' for the glory of the risen King." --Mighty to Save (Hillsong)

"Shine, they wonder watcha got..." --Shine (Newsboys)

"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..." --This Little Light of Mine (Author unknown)

"I wanna be in the light, as You are in the light. I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens. Oh Lord be my light and be my salvation, 'cause all I want is to be in the light." --In the Light (DC Talk)

"For once you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of Light." Ephesians 5:8

Well. That certainly made my day.

My friend Meredith and I do a 7th grade girl's Bible study with six seventh grade girls (that's redundant...) from our church. We've been going since late September and will continue to go through the end of the school year. And we've all gotten really close. Those six know they can come to Meredith and me with anything and we won't judge and will try our best to help. We genuinely love those girls, as crazy as they can be sometimes.

So, for Thanksgiving break, we wanted to do something a little different than just normal Tuesday night Bible study. We decided on going to this restaurant in town, the Local Diner (the name is fairly self-explanatory), for brunch. Because it was 11:45 in the morning, some girls had pancakes but others (like me) had hamburgers. Some even crossed the two and had a pancake with a milkshake. Intriguing combination.

Anyway, as we were waiting for our food, Meredith and I launched into the Bible study. We do "popcorn reading", where basically we just go around in a circle and read the lesson. It isn't long, generally anywhere between six paragraphs and ten paragraphs. Then we discussed questions and read passages from the Bible (that day's was Psalm 139). Then, before we could finish our questions, our food came. So we just continued discussing until we finished and then launched into our girl conversation about boys and clothes and drama and whatnot.

Shortly after ending the day's lesson, though, a woman sitting in the booth across from our table got up and said, "Hey girls, do you mind if I tell you something?" So all the seventh graders looked at Meredith and me and Meredith responded, "Yeah, sure!" I mean, we obviously weren't going to say, "Uh, no, go away" but, I'll admit it, I was a tad nervous when she asked. I don't know why--I just was.

Anyway. The woman told us this:
"I just want to say that I've been having a really rough day and seeing you here worshipping God is such a blessing and just turned my day around." I didn't know whether to say "thank you" or "you're welcome" so I just stammered both out. Then the woman asked what church we went to and we told her and her response was, "Well, I've been looking for a church for me and my three-year-old daughter and if your church makes such strong women of faith, I want my daughter to grow up in that church."

MIND BLOWING.

That just kind of put everything in perspective for me. This might sound creepy, but it confirms that Christians are constantly being watched. And people notice what we do. It was a cool lesson for a high school senior and middle school girls alike to see. So, thanks God!

19 years old. WHAT?

So, yesterday was my 19th birthday. I am a senior in high school. So weird (I went to pre-first which is NOT the same as being held back, thank you very much). Anyway, here are my thoughts on this being the last year that I can use the excuse "Well, I'm a teenager, so...".

I'm a year away from turning 20. That just sounds so...old. When you turn 20, people stop thinking of you as still a kid and are now really holding you accountable for your actions. You'll possibly be married in the next five years. You'll be well on your way to becoming a legit adult--one who lives on their own and has a job and is working towards a career. You're a grown-up.

Being nineteen is so awkward. As my friend Lauren asked, "Do any perks come with being nineteen?" Translation: What's different about being nineteen as opposed to eighteen? My answer: absolutely nothing. Therefore making nineteen so awkward because you're the exact same as you were when you were eighteen, just a year older. Just a year closer to being twenty. Just a year closer to being a "real" adult.

I need to get on that auto-biography I was going to write. Basically, it's just a compilation of my adventures as a teenager and some of the shenanigans I got into. And it would be nice to have it done before me, gasp, twentieth birthday. Because I will no longer be a teenager when I am twenty. Obviously. That bio is just something fun to write. A journal, if you will, of some highlights of my life from those six years I was a teenager. I only have one more year to finish that.

I'm still weirded out by the fact that I'm nineteen and older than nearly all of my friends. And being this old makes it hard to find a mature dude in high school.

Can we just take a moment and laugh at that last sentence? No such thing as a mature high school guy. What a funny thought. Just kidding...kind of.

But yes. Those are my thoughts on being one of the oldest kids in my high school. Ahh, weird.

Ephesians.

Ephesians is quite possibly my favorite book of the Bible. I have about half of it underlined. So I decided to share my love for the book in this post by posting all the verses I have underlined. I'm currently working on memorizing a few of them!

1:7--In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace

1:11--In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will

2:4-5--But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved.

2:8-10--For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the figt of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

3:6--This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body and sharers together in the promise of Christ Jesus.

4:1-3--As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worth of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with on another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

4:11-13--It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teacheres, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ

4:22-24: You were taught, with regard to your formal way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

4:32--Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you.

5:1-2--Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

5:16-17--...making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

5:21--Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

6:10--Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

6:18--And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

Words to live by. And all God's people said...AAAAAAMEN!

And now we wait.

All my college applications were in by the almost-universal November 1st deadline. A&M's deadline is December 1st, so I that's why I said "almost-universal". Anyway, now I am now just in that angsty waiting process to find out if colleges think I'm impressive enough to get into their prestigious institution of higher education.

And, as we all know, waiting and I have a troubled past.

I applied to Oklahoma State (Stillwater, OK), Baylor University (Waco), TCU (Fort Worth), and Texas A&M (College Station). OSU has already accepted me--that happened back in September. Old news. I should hear back from Baylor and TCU sometime in either late November (this month...weird...so soon...) or mid-December. Basically, they said, before Christmas. Which I find so strange and slightly terrifying that by Christmas, I'll know if 75% of the colleges I applied to want me or not. And then there's A&M. The latest I hear back from them will be mid-March.

You think I can wait that long? Heck to the no, fool.

Here are my thoughts now, as a senior, on my four schools (in no particular order other than by school):

1. Oklahoma State: Let's be honest--they accept everyone. Part of my reasoning for not applying to say, Alabama (where my mom wanted me to apply to) or Arkansas, was because a cat could get into those schools with no real problem. I wanted to have some level of difficulty. But I visited OSU and know people who have gone there and liked it and I wouldn't have to change my ways of saying "Go cowboys!" because they're the Oklahoma State Cowboys. It's a beautiful school and a cute little college town. But, come now, what's in Stillwater? A Wal-Mart, some restaurants, a couple boutiques, and a dance hall. That's pretty much it. I know that you make your own fun on campus and stuff but Stillwater isn't near another major city for a couple hours and is just too tiny of a town to do anything in. Don't get me wrong--OSU is my second choice for college. But let's just say that bright orange isn't really my color...

2. Baylor. Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy sic 'em, Bears! So, in the past, my reasons for not going to Baylor included their less-than-good football program. But now that they're actually fairly good, that's not a very valid argument. So now I just go the route that it's too expensive. $40k a year? Golly. That's a lot of money to be more educated. And it's kind of a Dr. Pepper-filled bubble. But, on the flipside, it's an awesome school. People are warm and friendly. I know tons of people there. There are Dr. Pepper floats every Tuesday (or is it Thursday?). The campus is gorgeous. I have a friend majoring in English--which is what I want to do. And I look good in green. Baylor is your straight up Baptist college of the South. And there's really nothing wrong with that at all. But it's preppy. And, for me, it would just be my hometown. I think I know too many people. And it's a lot more Greek than people let on. And it's, like, 60% girls. My MRS degree is in danger at Baylor. It's sometimes 3rd on my list and sometimes 4th. I don't really know why it switches. I love Baylor and think it's great. But is it really "my school"?

3. TCU. Hellooooooooo preppy! Purple and white, fight, fight, fight! I've grown up at TCU tailgates, Frog Ally, and in purple. When you live in the same metroplex as the place where your dad went to college, you're going to be under it's influence. There's no escaping it. But is that really a bad thing? Not necessarily. You just know it better than others do. It's a fantastic school (though verging a bit on the liberal side) and I feel like I would excel there. However, like Baylor, it has a girl-to-guy ratio of about 11:1. MRS degree is out the window. It's largely Greek. I'm so not a sorority girl. The girls dress up and look fashionable for games. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm good with Nike shorts and a spirited t-shirt. Though I haven't taken a formal tour of campus, I've never seen myself at TCU. It's just too...much. It's changed a lot since my dad went there, obviously. The last time he was a student, it was 1981. I'll graduate 30 years after he did. Though it would be cool to walk into the bookstore and see my dad in his Super Frog costume in a huge picture on the wall and be able to claim that my dad was the original Super Frog around campus, it isn't something I strive to do. TCU is great. But, again, I'm not sure it's the school for me.

4. Texas A&M. So maybe I've been extremely biased about the 3 other above listed schools, but A&M feels like home. I can't lie--the 2 times I've visited, I've wanted nothing more than to sign up for housing and go to class the next day. I want to be an Aggie. It has my major(s) that I want to partake in. It has the history and traditions that I want. It's in the Big 12. What more can you need? Yeah, tons of people from home go there. So I can have my comfort zone. But it's also huge, meaning that the chances of my accidentally running into them are next to nothing. College Station is alive with action. Freebird's, Spoons, and Sweet Eugene's are just a few of the restaurants. Campus is constantly busy. And, plus, I love maroon. A&M is choice numero uno. And I feel about 99.9% sure that I'll end up there one day. So, gig 'em.

Like I said, I'm keeping all options open and trying to have an open mind. But it's hard when you're kind of set on something. A&M felt like home. I know I can't really go wrong wherever I end up, but I have my preferences. Right now, I just want to know. And it's frustrating not knowing if I'm even accepted into my top choice. A girl can only hope and pray.

So, gig 'em, sic 'em, go pokes, and go frogs. College, here I come.

I am second.

So I normally don't write poetry. I'm bad at it and it always sounds really corny/stupid and I just don't write it unless it's goofy...like a haiku about popcorn or something. So this poem is my attempt at being serious or religious or whatever. It's about the "I am second" campaign. A link will be provided after the poem. Try not to judge me and my horrible poetry abilities (or lack thereof).

Second

We are

Judged
Different
Misunderstood
Foreign
Aliens
We don't belong
According to the rest of the world

We are

Beloved
Forgiven
Needed
Beautiful
Strengthened
Empowered
By our God

We are

Not to judge
To always love
Always considered different
Going to stay forgiven
Forever misunderstood
More beautiful than jewels
As foreign as it gets
Given strength by the One who made us
The original ETs
Granted power by an even more powerful Savior
Never going to belong to the world

We are

Second.


Yeah..that was that. Here's the link!
iamsecond.com