It's been 9 days since I successfully walked the stage and became a former student of Texas A&M University. My ring has been turned around, and now the eagle, like all the other Aggies that have come before me, now stand behind the class of 2015.
Whoop.
I had a week of freedom on a beach in Florida, but tomorrow dawns adulthood. Or something that resembles it.
Somehow, I have found myself at an internship that is 8-5, four days a week. My first thought when I heard that was, "But I don't know how to adult yet." But that 6:30 alarm is going to go off, and I might become a coffee drinker (which means I should figure out the Keurig), and that toll tag is going to ring up a tab, and I have to figure out what a w9 is.
It's the most thrilling, terrifying thing in the world. I mean, I'm wearing makeup and a skirt before the sun rises tomorrow. Who even am I? I need to find a travel mug and learn to like cliff bars. Work is going to come, and the adventure of life with a degree begins. Somehow just waving it around on a stage doesn't mean I will automatically succeed at all jobs. Who knew?
In addition to my four days a week of being a grown up, I'll also be raising support to do ministry in the fall. So that's equal parts scary and exciting. The Lord is faithful to provide, and has far exceeded anything I could've imagined so far. I have no doubt that my finances will be any exception. But if you could keep me in your prayers for that, I would appreciate it.
Now all THAT being said, I will consider this my official announcement of what I'm doing in the fall (Facebook posts aren't my thing anymore). I will be working for Grace Bible Church in College Station doing college ministry with A&M and Blinn students. The Gospel is cool, and I would like to share it.
The world is big, I'm very little, and God is good. He clearly knows what he's doing, and I'm excited (and, you know, unbelievably nervous) to see how this very bright future he has painted continues to pan out.
Good morning, sunrise. You and I will become very familiar with each other, I think.
Monday, May 25, 2015
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
A House Is Not A Memory Trapper
My roommates are about to spackle some holes in the living room. Myles is loudly singing some old worship song--while beating the wall--and Rachel caught it on film. Neither of them are 100% confident in what they're doing, but they're going to try and nail it (Rachel just noted that it looks like ice cream but warned Myles to not eat it). This is a day in the life of my house.
One of the last days, actually.
I think we all had a mental knowledge of this week's imminent arrival--we're 3 days out from graduation. But all this packing and painting and the living room in disarray is making the reality, the emotions of the situation, extraordinarily real.
We're doing a good job of making memories and choosing to ignore the goodbyes. Myles and Rachel have turned on "The Wobble" in the living room. Myles has changed the lyrics to, "Hey big girl, go ahead and spackle up."
The picture frames are off the shelves. The sofa is gone. Myles is sleeping on an air mattress. The kitchen has been divided up on a Google doc. It's all changing. This comfy, 1100 square foot little house has been part of many memories. We've had dance parties and crying sessions in the living room. It was a sleepover for two years. It was not without its own faults, and it saw many faults of its residents.
It would be ridiculous to say that this house is just a house, but it will be moved out of and cleaned and readied for the next round of people. It is not immune to wear and tear, nor is it fully prepared for future residents. The house is the holder of memories.
But thankfully memories are not trapped within where they were made. They may be more potent there, feel like they are happening again around you, have strong reminders of what happened. But unlike this house, which will stay planted (however unsteadily based on some foundation issues we've noticed), I get to go.
All the moments where I laughed so hard I cried, where we talked through or quoted movies, threw birthday parties, rearranged, rearranged again, talked out a problem, hugged out the resolution and then made our way out with called "I love you"'s over our shoulders.
I want to say that I hope to find friends like these again, and a place to hold those future memories, but that would require replacing Joy, Myles, and Rachel (and, like, not moving ever). And I think they're one of a kind. While I aspire for close-knit friendships in the future, I know that these women are pretty irreplaceable. And friendships I will maintain until death do we part.
Andy Bernard, in the last episode of The Office, said "I wish we knew we were in the good ole days before we left them."
Initially, I'm inclined to agree with him. But I refuse to believe that this house is the single manifestation of the "good ole days" and that leaving it signifies that the best time of my life is ending. I'm 23. I have a lot of life to live. I think that the rest of my life, however long it is, will be rich with goodness.
No, my nonexistent readers (it would be pompous to assume anyone besides my parents reads this), I am confident that the last beautiful, growing, hard, hilarious four years have been but a glimpse of the life still yet to live.
One of the last days, actually.
I think we all had a mental knowledge of this week's imminent arrival--we're 3 days out from graduation. But all this packing and painting and the living room in disarray is making the reality, the emotions of the situation, extraordinarily real.
We're doing a good job of making memories and choosing to ignore the goodbyes. Myles and Rachel have turned on "The Wobble" in the living room. Myles has changed the lyrics to, "Hey big girl, go ahead and spackle up."
The picture frames are off the shelves. The sofa is gone. Myles is sleeping on an air mattress. The kitchen has been divided up on a Google doc. It's all changing. This comfy, 1100 square foot little house has been part of many memories. We've had dance parties and crying sessions in the living room. It was a sleepover for two years. It was not without its own faults, and it saw many faults of its residents.
It would be ridiculous to say that this house is just a house, but it will be moved out of and cleaned and readied for the next round of people. It is not immune to wear and tear, nor is it fully prepared for future residents. The house is the holder of memories.
But thankfully memories are not trapped within where they were made. They may be more potent there, feel like they are happening again around you, have strong reminders of what happened. But unlike this house, which will stay planted (however unsteadily based on some foundation issues we've noticed), I get to go.
All the moments where I laughed so hard I cried, where we talked through or quoted movies, threw birthday parties, rearranged, rearranged again, talked out a problem, hugged out the resolution and then made our way out with called "I love you"'s over our shoulders.
I want to say that I hope to find friends like these again, and a place to hold those future memories, but that would require replacing Joy, Myles, and Rachel (and, like, not moving ever). And I think they're one of a kind. While I aspire for close-knit friendships in the future, I know that these women are pretty irreplaceable. And friendships I will maintain until death do we part.
Andy Bernard, in the last episode of The Office, said "I wish we knew we were in the good ole days before we left them."
Initially, I'm inclined to agree with him. But I refuse to believe that this house is the single manifestation of the "good ole days" and that leaving it signifies that the best time of my life is ending. I'm 23. I have a lot of life to live. I think that the rest of my life, however long it is, will be rich with goodness.
No, my nonexistent readers (it would be pompous to assume anyone besides my parents reads this), I am confident that the last beautiful, growing, hard, hilarious four years have been but a glimpse of the life still yet to live.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
6
On this day in 2009, my grandfather passed away. He was the first, and remains the only, close family member I've lost. To consider myself blessed in that regard would be a colossal understatement. To say that the loss was not a difficult one, however, would be a lie.
In one week, I will become a former student of Texas A&M University. If we want to get specific, we're 6 days and 22 hours away. My grandfather, Papa, attended A&M for a time in the early 1950's, and while he graduated from that hippie school in Austin (hisssss), I never saw him cheer against the Ags--even on Thanksgiving. I am proud to be in the fourth generation of Aggies of my family. I wish he could see me walk (or, uh, maybe trip) across the stage, but the fact that he walked the university before me is more than comforting.
It's incredible to see aspects of him sprinkled around my family. The helpful hand went to my aunt. The outdoorsman to my uncles. The quick smile (and stubbornness) to my mom. The love of music to my brother. The eager to laugh to my sister. The high level of intellect to my cousin Haley. The love of family to Holly. The adventurous spirits (and blue eyes) to Lacey and Parker. The tan skin and love of competition to Emily and Caroline. The rough-and-tumble attitude to Morgan (adopted or not, she picked up some things from the old man). The love of books to me. Of course, everyone got a little of everything. Some are more stubborn than others, some with a bit more wanderlust than others.
But in our cores, we know where we came from. We know that this baritone-voiced man who ate all our Cheetos eagerly loved us, constantly cared for our grandmother, and made our parents who they were.
I mean really, he filled up Nanny's car with gas for 50 years because she spilled it on herself one time. He took care of his own.
This passion to serve was a product of the way he served the Lord. I'm in the middle of a pack of 10 grandchildren--8 of them are girls. It would've been easy for me to blend in, to remain unnoticed because I was quiet and didn't draw attention to myself. But every time I saw Papa, he brought me a book or a Land Before Time Movie. He knew Linley.
Birthdays just aren't as fun without that sweet, low voice singing to me. Holidays always lack something without him 1. falling asleep in front of the fire/TV or 2. regaling us with stories. He was the love of my grandmother's life. The standard of man for my cousin and brother to look up to and for my cousins and me to look for. The best kind of father to my mom and aunt and uncles.
He leaves a legacy of love, of the importance of Christ, of the necessity of good food.
I hope to follow suit.
In honor of Jesse Don Lyles, September 19, 1933--May 9, 2009.
In one week, I will become a former student of Texas A&M University. If we want to get specific, we're 6 days and 22 hours away. My grandfather, Papa, attended A&M for a time in the early 1950's, and while he graduated from that hippie school in Austin (hisssss), I never saw him cheer against the Ags--even on Thanksgiving. I am proud to be in the fourth generation of Aggies of my family. I wish he could see me walk (or, uh, maybe trip) across the stage, but the fact that he walked the university before me is more than comforting.
It's incredible to see aspects of him sprinkled around my family. The helpful hand went to my aunt. The outdoorsman to my uncles. The quick smile (and stubbornness) to my mom. The love of music to my brother. The eager to laugh to my sister. The high level of intellect to my cousin Haley. The love of family to Holly. The adventurous spirits (and blue eyes) to Lacey and Parker. The tan skin and love of competition to Emily and Caroline. The rough-and-tumble attitude to Morgan (adopted or not, she picked up some things from the old man). The love of books to me. Of course, everyone got a little of everything. Some are more stubborn than others, some with a bit more wanderlust than others.
But in our cores, we know where we came from. We know that this baritone-voiced man who ate all our Cheetos eagerly loved us, constantly cared for our grandmother, and made our parents who they were.
I mean really, he filled up Nanny's car with gas for 50 years because she spilled it on herself one time. He took care of his own.
This passion to serve was a product of the way he served the Lord. I'm in the middle of a pack of 10 grandchildren--8 of them are girls. It would've been easy for me to blend in, to remain unnoticed because I was quiet and didn't draw attention to myself. But every time I saw Papa, he brought me a book or a Land Before Time Movie. He knew Linley.
Birthdays just aren't as fun without that sweet, low voice singing to me. Holidays always lack something without him 1. falling asleep in front of the fire/TV or 2. regaling us with stories. He was the love of my grandmother's life. The standard of man for my cousin and brother to look up to and for my cousins and me to look for. The best kind of father to my mom and aunt and uncles.
He leaves a legacy of love, of the importance of Christ, of the necessity of good food.
I hope to follow suit.
In honor of Jesse Don Lyles, September 19, 1933--May 9, 2009.
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