"Don't ever change" and why it's bad advice

Remember when you were in middle school and high school and everyone would write "You're soooo (insert positive adjective here)! Don't ever change!"? And you had your little ego boost because you were reading all about what people like about you and you vowed to never change because, look! You had so many people who loved you exactly how you were!

Well, yeah. That's true. But imagine if you stayed a fourteen-year-old forever. Perpetually stuck in 8th or 9th grade emotionally, mentally, and physically. What if you never grew up? What if you never learned new things? What if you never tried and succeeded? Or tried and failed and learned from the failure? Can you even imagine being stuck in puberty for the rest of your life? Sounds like a nightmare.

But seriously. Changing from the awkward-middle-schooler to the figuring-life-out college student (hello my life) to the real-adult (not quite there yet) is what makes life so interesting.

Here's the deal: we need change. It's unavoidable. It's good. It's, hopefully, growth. Do not fear the change.

But I wish I could say that I followed my own advice. I hate change. I don't adapt well. I'm comfortably stuck in my ways and it would take a force of nature to avert me away from them. And I typically don't react well when such an event blows through and scrambles my life up. Events like moving. Or college. Or when God decides that he's had enough of my shenanigans and shakes things up to wake me up. You know, all of those things. But the most effective change I've ever seen has been at the hand of Christ.

When we fully let Christ take control of our lives, He makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). Making something new would require a change. My least favorite thing. But I have seen myself changed and refined more in the past year than I have in my whole life. In my bubble that I grew up in, there wasn't a lot of wiggle room.

College. A&M. Good, Godly friends. Wiggle room. Room to grow. To change. To learn. To fall and to get back up. And to run. Flat out after Christ. And it was scary as heck. But I'm embracing it now. And I'm not afraid. Will it hurt? Probably. But you know what? I'm going for it. Because I can either cower in fear of the divine change or I can fall into His sweet and protecting arms to pull me through. Growing up is hard, but I don't have to do it alone.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

(post inspired by Myles Osborne)

Things you learn in your first apartment...

So, I'm living with 3 of my best friends in an apartment this year. I've been counting the days until this living situation since December and we finally all moved in as of about 10 days ago. And in that time period, we've made some rather interesting discoveries, utilized some problem solving skills, and done a fair amount of laughing. Here's why.

1. For the 3 rooms our apartment has, it has 3 different temperatures. We're still not sure why.

2. People get feisty in parking garages. And have no happy medium when it comes to speed in the parking garage. And manage to lose all ability to park.

3. If one leg of the sofa is broken, removing all the legs is an acceptable course of action.

4. Garbage disposals have reset buttons.

5. Marbles should not go in a garbage disposal.

6. If your washer and dryer are in a closet, the closet gets extremely hot and blasts a wave of Sahara-like wind at you when you open the closet.

7. When the sun streams through the window, the color of your curtains will cast that color's hue across your room. Pink curtains=pink room.

8. When funny things happen, it is best to have a jar in which to write down the funny things and keep them until the end of the year, when you will read them.

That's all I got for you so far. It's been entertaining, to say the least. Lots of lessons and more to come. I'll keep you posted.

Sitcom Life

So, I've had this running joke with a friend that my life is kind of a sitcom. You know, those moments that just kind of happen and you watch them on TV thinking, "Yeah, that's funny, but wouldn't actually happen."

I'm here to tell you that, yes, in fact, those aforementioned improbable moments do take place. And I am a victim of them.

Today's adventure to the eye doctor is a testament to that.


My vision closely resembles an armadillo's (as in very bad) without corrective lenses. I was wearing bifocals as a 21-month-old. Basically a real-life version of Benjamin Button. So I'm no stranger to eye appointments. The summer before my freshman year of high school, I decided to forgo the thick glasses I'd been sporting my whole life and try contacts. After some time, I got the hang of it and got into the groove of using them. But occasionally, I'd manage to get my contact stuck in my eye. Like, try to get it out and end up moving it off of the iris and into the depths of my eyeball. It's uncomfortable and a tedious process to get it out. It hasn't happened to me in a long time--months, maybe a year. But of course, today, while at the doctor, it happened to me.

The nurse lady tried in vain to get it out, but to no avail. So we just went ahead with all the tests, with the contact still floating around somewhere in my eye. During this time, I had to go get pictures of my retina taken. It took several attempts because I kept blinking and she was getting frustrated. I was just getting embarrassed.

So then we moved to the actual exam room (I hate that phrase...it sounds so awful) where Dr. Curtis took a shot at it. Dr. Curtis and my dad were fraternity brothers at TCU, so that basically gives him permission to make fun of me. Good times with that.

Then when he was doing the real examination part, I managed to get the rolly chair stuck and knocked his machine off balance. And got my right and left confused.

It was just generally unfortunate.

Then I went to Office Depot to get more notebooks for school while wearing my Delta Asher Impact shirt (Impact post to come later). Our theme this year had been Super SmASHER Bros because we were Camp Asher (Asher being one of the 12 tribes of Israel, which was what all the camps were named after). The nerdy cashier then proceeded to ask me all about my skills at Smash Bros and, when he found out that I normally got last place, gave me all sorts of tips on how to win next time. Moral of the story: get Fox and press "B down" twice to stun your opponent, but that only works if you're close to who you want to stun. Real moral of the story: avoid Alan at Office Depot from now on.

Sometimes I wish I had a "normal" life. But then, what is "normal", anyway?

Summer blogging fail

Guess which aspiring author dropped the ball on her blogging this summer?

This one did. Oops.

So here's a brief overview of what all went down for me this summer.

1. I worked for Legoland Discovery Center in Grapevine, Texas. And it was quite an experience. I've learned that parents can find something to complain about everywhere if you want to, that there is a reason for a legal driving age (and, as simple as "press the pedal and steer" is, a four-year-old cannot comprehend it), and the technical term for the little Lego pieces is a "Lego brick". And if I have to see those in mass quantities ever again, I might shriek like a banshee. But the people who I worked with kept things interesting and it was a cool mission field.

2. I am absolutely awful at math. Just terrible. An embarrassment. But I'm done with three hours of math (hallelujah!) and completely finished with my political science credits. So, while June was a grunt summer of late studying and lots of working, it was definitely good. It was stressful, but it's over. Again, hallelujah! July was much better!

3. God is good. He's enough when I'm not.

4. This is shallow, but after being flirted with by all of my male coworkers, I have more self confidence in not only my appearance, but personality. God has a funny way of teaching lessons. And His sense of humor is something to be reckoned with.

5. I'm seriously addicted to the Olympics. U-S-A! U-S-A!

6. Planning an apartment is actually fun! Who knew I'd get into interior design? If you could even call it that. But I am excited about my new nightstand, so now I know that I'm definitely turning into my mom. Yikes.

7. My Rangers obsession has grown. Yes, it is possible. I love my Arlington boys. Possibly too much.

8. I'm rereading the Harry Potter series and want just a sprinkle of JK Rowling's writing talent. That woman is amazing.

I leave to go back to College Station for a week tomorrow. Impact is on WEDNESDAY! I can't believe it's already here--I still distinctly remember picking up my letter that said I was actually going to be a counselor. The kids I've been praying about for months are going to be loading buses in only a few days!!

All-in-all, a crazy/busy summer with lots of learning and it went a lot faster than I thought it would, which is a good thing. Do I wish I'd had more downtime before launching myself into another school year? Sure.

But I'm ready for sophomore year.

"I do not consider that I have made it [life] my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14.

I'm employed...and other thoughts.

So, this summer, I didn't want to babysit. I needed a real job and learn how to do a professional interview and have taxes taken out of my paycheck and have a boss. Something to put on the resumé, if you will. I needed to go through training of some variety. And I wanted a flexible schedule. You don't really have that with babysitting, interestingly enough.

Where am I working, you ask? Legoland Discovery Center, to be all official. But most just call it Legoland. Within a week, I applied, interviewed, and got the job. It was a pretty quick turnaround, for which I was grateful. I've already made around $85 in the 2 days I've "worked". And it was just for training. So, sweet. This summer, I'll be doing annoying "grown-up" things, which consist of taking 6 hours of classes at the community college and working.

The majority of my summer will be spent with lots of screaming children and lots of Lego paraphernalia, which will be a stark difference to how my life generally works. I'm a low-key, relaxed, social but not outgoing kind of girl. I am not a constant flow of energy. So this job is going to test me in several ways (patience, tolerance, general perkiness, etc).

The one thing that I really wanted to do this summer was work at a camp (no secret there). Obviously, I didn't get that. And I've been just taking this job opportunity for granted and even downgrading it. But this summer is going to be bigger than just running a ride or cleaning 3D glasses. This summer is going to be learning how to not have my bubble of support and still function as 1. a normal human being and 2. a child pursuing her Maker. At A&M, I am always surrounded by people my age and at my stage in life running to the Lord with me. People I'm deeply close with and who know me so well that they can sometimes read my mind. Here, I don't really have that. My parents know me extremely well, of course. But they're a generation ahead of me. My circle of girls who have seen me breakdown and who have seen me laugh so hard that I can't breathe isn't here. In fact, all of them are at least 2 hours away from me right now.

"I Am A Seed" by David Crowder is playing on my computer right now. It talks about being pushed down into the ground, being trampled, not feeling like I can rise up again. Not feeling okay. I'm anxiously waiting for August to swing back around so I can grow. But I can start growing/learning now. I don't have to wait for the bubble to float back. Maybe I just need a summer of me and God and learn what it means to be relying on Him for everything and knowing to go to Him first. Because time and time again, I've thought of something I needed to tell my friends and pushed up to go across the hall, where two of my best friends lived. But then I come back to reality and see that I'm home, not in College Station. And that whatever I'm feeling doesn't need to be sent out in a message for someone to see, but put in a prayer journal or just spoken aloud to the One who hears everything.

And while I know what it means to get over the radio at Legoland and say "Delta one, code three is green", that won't be the valuable information I go back to A&M with. There is a much better prize to looking through a different sort of manual.

The wind down

I am sitting at my desk at home, remembering how College Station disappeared in my rearview mirror. After nine months of living somewhere, being with the same 20 or so people, and creating near unbreakable bonds and unforgettable memories, my freshman year of college comes to a close.

After years of dreaming about it, one year of planning it, and several hours packing for it, somehow, it happened. I don't know where my 2011-2012 school year has gone, but suddenly, it is. How on earth did I get from hitting the "I will attend Texas A&M University" button to planning my move-out? My brain is blown.

Looking back, I see how big this year has been for me. I'm a completely different person from move-in day to right now. This year has been a lot of growing, a lot of maturing, and really understanding that my life is not my own. God is bigger, better, stronger, smarter than anything I can conjure up or plan out. My life is putty in his hands. And he has made that perfectly clear to me this year. I'm overwhelmed with how I've been blessed in such a short time period. The lessons I've learned are almost countless, ranging from big--like what I'm supposed to do with my life and self discovery--and small--like knowing what I should be involved in next year.

But here's a few things I've been taught, just so you know I'm not spit-balling here.

1. I struggled a lot with inadequacy this year and feeling like I was not enough for anything. When people needed great, I was just good. When they needed good, I was average. That kind of thing. But I realized that I don't need to be enough. 2 Corinthians 2:19 has become one of my favorite verses. It says, "But he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' So I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power might be made perfect in me." So...BOOM!

2. Yes, I describe my English classes as my "fun" classes. And am completely serious. Come at me.

3. Peace. Instead of needing to be more, I honestly just need to chill out. Whatever is stressing me out, I need to let go. It sounds like an obvious statement, but college has given me a new definition of "stress" that I didn't know in high school. With that, Philippians 4:7 talks to me directly with "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

4. If you hate physics, DO NOT take astronomy.

5. God is good. This was told to me multiple times (hey Ethan) but I really, really started believing how absolutely true it was towards the middle of spring semester. "Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting." Psalm 107:1

6. The ocean is way more complex than the average person thinks. And has about a bajillion currents effected by random stuff. There's a little bit of science for ya.

7. Husband hunting shouldn't exist. Be patient. Make friends. Laugh. Focus on school and friendships. But, above all, run at full tilt towards the Lord. And only when you blaze by a guy who is running the same direction will you be ready to be chased. So you will be. "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." (translation: don't try to fall in love when you aren't ready) Song of Solomon 2:7. And guys? Keep running. You'll find her by noticing the one who is running so fast after the Lord that she makes a wake of wind as she flies by you.

And there you have it. My freshman year lessons in the nutshell.

Delta Asher 2012

There are a number of things I should be doing right now (packing, cleaning, studying, sleeping, etc). But I'm not. Instead, I'm listening to my heathen mix made by 17 of the greatest people I know and writing how much I love these people.

Delta Asher. Two seemingly meaningless words to the average person. But I can't describe the flood of memories, emotions, and laughter that comes to mind when I see or hear those two words. But let's start at the beginning.

At Texas A&M, there's this incredible thing called Impact--a Christian fish camp that seeks to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ and plug the incoming A&M class into the body of Christ at A&M. Pretty sweet, right? I was a camper at Impact last year and am now a counselor--something that I never thought I'd say. All first semester of freshman year, I wanted to be a counselor, but after being rejected from summer camps over and over, my confidence in my counseling ability faded to nothing. After going to an informational for Impact, I really heard the voice of God tell me to apply. That was the first time in a long time that I'd been paying attention enough for him to scream through my barriers and tell me exactly what I was supposed to do.

And I did.

I'm crying right now (shocking) because I'm just so freaking happy that I listened. Mariah, Jevon, Ashley, Jackson, Dani, Preston, Emma, Eric, Paige, Nick, Ella, Benjamin, Helen, David (Dragon), Lindsey, Blake, and Brady became 17 of the most important people in my life. Every Monday night, we gathered together to worship, pray, laugh, cry (mostly me), and plan for August 8-11 where we will FINALLY meet the freshman the Lord wants us to get to know and love on and pursue. And I couldn't have asked for better co-chairs (Mariah and Jevon), better prayer leaders (Ashley and Jackson), a better partner (Brady), and a better team to work with. To say I've been blessed is a massive understatement.

Last night was our last meeting as a camp before we reconvene August 6th for pre-camp workdays. This semester has flown by and it's time for summer. Am I ready to leave them? Heck no. I never will be. I can't wait for August. But this summer will be for growth, preparation, and pure excitement. It will be good. I'll miss them all like a crazy person (if it's possible for me to get any crazier) but I know that this summer will make jumping into their arms in August that much sweeter.

Today is registration day for Impact. It's crazy to think that some of the girls in my small group (BG) are signing up today. WEIRD. But also extremely exciting. I am just so pumped for August I can barely stand it.

Delta Asher, I love y'all. I wish I knew how to say how much I loved y'all, but the words aren't coming right now. You've all impacted me in some way, encouraged me in every way, and made me thankful that I've got so many awesome people running after the Lord with me. To quote Jevon, "we won Impact."

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13

Couldn't have said it better, Big Poppa.