Feelin' 22

Yeah so I've been 22 for about three weeks at this point, but I think we can all agree that my blogging game has been off for like the past year. Relatively similar to the Rangers past season.

Anyways.

As per tradition, here are twenty two things that I've learned/observed/that are notable in the past year/22 years.

1. Being told you're an Impact co-chair is excellent. Especially when you get that glorious email on your birthday.

2. Though sometimes I question why people put me in positions of leadership because I choked on water so badly the other day that I made these horrible noises that sounded like a dying goose. Like for real, y'all, infants can drink liquids better than I can.

3. Blue Bell ice cream is unquestionably the best kind of ice cream. Especially when it's right off the line and hasn't been frozen so it's all melty and soft and you feel like you could stick your face in it forever and it be totally okay.

4. The Texas Rangers have successfully traded 4 of their best/most famous players. Yeah, I'm still crying. I'll miss you, David Murphy, Ian Kinsler, Craig Gentry, and AJ Pierzynski.

5. Trying to combine the English and Education departments at A&M is like trying to mix oil and water. Sorry I'm complicated y'all.

6. I think Johnny Manziel has a shot in the NFL. Sue me.

7. Having the top bunk in a room with a 7'4" ceiling isn't bad. I've only whacked my noggin once. I'd consider that a victory.

8. I would rather have a small house with character than a big house that doesn't feel like a home.

9. Disney has still got it, you guys. "Frozen" was legit.

10. I've seen some really incredible sunsets this year. I don't know what it is, but the artist is working. (that was corny and I'm sorry but I'm also not)

11. Those little party noisemaker things can entertain a group of twenty-somethings for at least 10 minutes. My apologies to my neighbors.

12. I am such a bad dancer. Like such an awkward white girl with zero rhythmic abilities whatsoever. 

13. Being able to hang out and lead a group of Phi Lamb pledges this past semester was a blast. I loved being able to see how God was working through their freshman year.

14. My Impact nuggets are the bomb, y'all. Like the Struggle Muggle freshman are so great.

15. I'm becoming a Marvel nerd. Can't get enough of that stuff. Captain America, I'm yours.

16. My roommates are the best.

17. I am not a journalist. My brief stint with the Battalion told me that much.

18. But I am still distinctly a writer. Trying to figure out where all that comes into play.

19. Going to some of the football press conferences were some of the coolest experiences of the year. Like, hey, Malcome Kennedy. Why yes, I will return your smile.

20. There is nothing I can do that will mess up God's plan. I may complicate things, but He is bigger than me.

21. I still don't get Gossip Girl.

22. Yep, I'm feeling it.

Another great year. X number more to come. Thanks, and gig 'em.

Omega Benji 2014 (I think I'm in charge?)

So Impact.

That Christian orientation camp I've blogged about like six million times? The experience as a freshman, two years of counselorship (is that a word?), and all other things involved with it? Yeah that. Well, my leadership in that has expanded.

Each camp--consisting of 18 people--is split up into three different roles (it's lopsided, don't worry about it). Of that, 14 are counselors (what I've been). Two of those are on prayer team, which their sole job is to pray for and support everyone else in the camp. So they basically have to be real servant hearted. The last two are the cochairs, who are like the parents of the group.

So...just call me Mom.

Yeah, for whatever reason the executive leaders of Impact decided to put me in a power position. There are 54 cochairs total--27 girls and 27 guys. We are then split up into sessions--Alpha is first, Delta is second, and Omega is the last. Then we get our camps, which are named after the twelve tribes of Israel. We only use 9 of those and I don't know why we use the 9 that we do. They also have corresponding colors that Impact has given them to identify themselves. Asher (aqua), Benjamin (Benji--yellow), Gad (orange), Issachar (silver), Reuben (red), Simeon (green), Zebulun (purple), Judah (royal blue), and Naphtali (pink). My first year I was Asher, the next I was Gad, and now I'm Benji.

Last year, I informed my roommates that I didn't want Gad. I got Gad. This year, I told them I didn't want Benji. I got Benji. This is all purely based on color preferences.

I know that God is just up there loling away.

So my partnerships are going to be super important this year. My fellow cochair Tyler and I will essentially be the ones setting the tone for the camp. We'll be the "counselor" models for our counselors to follow. It's us. We will set a vision for our camp, pick counselors who fit that, and start building relationships with them so they can better share the Gospel to their freshman in August. Needless to say, Tyler and I will be working with each other quite a bit.

Then there are my stud prayer teamers--Emma and Elijah. Emma was a cochair last year, so she's going to be such a great support role for me this year because she's been there. She and I will be each others support as well as the support to our girl counselors. Tyler and Elijah will have the same roles but with the dudes in our camp.

Right now, it's just the four of us that make up Omega Benji. The other 14 will come in February (eeeek!). And then the other 70 will get here in August (waddup, fightin Texas Aggie class of 2018).

It's incredible how the Lord has shown how specifically I am made to be a cochair this year. Through the little things and the big things, there is not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that this is where I am supposed to be. Following Christ. Leading a camp. Tyler and I have our work cut out for us, even with the help and endless prayers of Emma and Elijah. But I am confident in the job that has been set before me and that I will not be given more than I can handle. The Enemy will threaten and scare and lie. But I stand on the Solid Rock. And the Lord God will not let me be moved.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9.

I don't get Gossip Girl

Here's the deal, you guys. My roommates love that CW show Gossip Girl and never stop talking about how beautiful the love between Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf is. The whole concept of the show--bratty, rich, Upper East Side-rs who text everyone's secrets to this one person who then spills all the secrets to everyone on the list server--is completely ridiculous. "Who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. XOXO, Gossip Girl."

I love shows like 24 and Prison Break. Give me an epic "save the world" story any day. But my curiosity got the better of me this weekend and I ventured into the great unknown of Manhattan's most privileged fictional characters.

I finished the first season today. Yeah, that took all of 4 days. But even after cranking through 18 episodes like it was my job, I still just don't get it. Chuck Bass is a creep. Blair is the worst. Nate and Dan are the only ones with a moral bone in their bodies. And Serena has all kinds of skeletons in her closet. What's the allure? Why does anyone watch this show? Why am I?

My reasoning is twofold. The first reason I think I'm still watching it is to see when Chuck Bass stops being the worst and when his character finally develops into the swoon-worthy stud of a man Rachel, Myles, and Joy talk about all the time. Right now he's just kind of a creep. The second reason is that their lives are so privileged. Chuck Bass hands out $10,000 just for funsies. Blair can just fly to France whenever she wants to.

Normal people aren't like that.

Normal people don't have a couple hundred thousand dollars in a trust fund or get lunches that cost $120 on a weekday.

So maybe that's the pull. These people live absolutely crazy lives of money and parties and easy come, easy go. Their happiness is hard and short-lived, but it is so fun to watch. The roller coaster that they ride on every day is fascinating to Suburbia, USA.

Do I wish my biggest struggle of the day is having to live in a luxury hotel? Sure. I wouldn't hate that. But I do want unlimited money for my own usage at my fingertips? I don't know. Money is made by people and people have a tendency to be greedy and self-serving. Not all of us are controlled by that, but there's a piece in all of us that is.

The drama that constantly surrounds them is interesting to watch, but nothing in me wants that for myself.

So is that it? Their lives are so amazingly crazy, it reminds us of our sanity?

I don't have an answer. I wish I did, because after I've bashed the show for so long, my roommates are teasing me for caving now.

This is a weird post. I'll keep y'all updated if I find any deep revelations about the human condition in my continued watching.

Keep it Classy, Ags

A&M is known for being a loud and proud university (even when we didn't necessarily have the bragging rights to be so). Since the rise of a nationally-best offense on the football field and a bigger freshman class than ever before, our right to brag has, well, been justified to an extent.

But this is not a post to talk about how great A&M is (even though I totally could because duh).

This is also not one of those stupid open letters that crop up every 4.7 hours on Facebook.

This is a reminder to the 51,000+ students at this university to stay classy.

In 1876, Texas A&M University was founded as an all-male agriculture and mechanical university where every student was a member of the military-oriented Corps of Cadets. It was based on honor, integrity, service, respect. Through the development of a football team, organized student yells, and an undeniable spirit that can ne'er be told, we began to hold such qualities with very high esteem.

Somewhere along the line, we've managed to lose sight of some of those.

Old Army Ags will look at us, shake their heads, and grumble about this "New Army".

I think it needs to be said that "New Army" in this context is not a positive thing.

New Army is the loss of traditions that Old Ags hold near and dear. Not hissing an Aggie. Not booing during football games. Being respectful to classmates and fans repping a different color shirt. Not dropping the f-bomb after every missed tackle or showing up to the game high as a kite. Not giving dirty looks to people who encroach on your standing space. Not doing a paper, finishing homework, or studying for a test.

Not taking the "respect" aspect of the six core values of A&M seriously. 

Aggies, hold onto the traditions we were built on. 

This is not about how we've totally and completely fallen away from who we are as a university and a body of students. I have seen how we still make our founders proud. Chivalry is still thriving here in Aggieland. The way we treat fans from other teams is a testament to the fact that we are the Aggies, the Aggies are we. Kyle Field has been louder than I've ever heard it during some of these games. We've united for cold and rainy Silver Taps. We aren't afraid to smile at a stranger if we make eye contact with them while walking to class.

A&M is, arguably, one of the friendliest campuses in the nation.

So why are we having a hard time reflecting those things when Johnny scrambles around outside the pocket or we get a bad grade on a test? Why is our first inclination to curse under our breath and boo at our quarterback?

I want to be able to proudly say that my university still considers the values it was founded on to be its guides even today. But how can I do that when the guys behind me at the game are calling my roommate an "effing retard" when she wobbled off the bleachers because we were all crammed in together?

Ags, think about why you chose to go to A&M. Yeah, you'll get a good education that will send you into the real world with a real chance of getting a job. But the traditions, the values, the honor, the feeling of slipping that gold Aggie bling onto your finger--doesn't any of that stand for something?


It does for me. I can only hope that it does for you too.

Thanks, and gig 'em.

We Won't Move Without You

Jeff Johnson has consistently been introducing me to my favorite new songs since August of 2011 (thanks Impact!). Through Breakaway and three rounds at Latham Springs for that Impact life, good music has been a constant factor. I'm one of those people who worships best by singing (the irony is kind of overwhelming for this tone-deaf diva); in terms of feeling, that's when I feel closest to Christ.

This past session of Impact, we learned a song where the bridge repeated "we won't move without You", which 1. really struck me and 2. made me think.

Like, what if we quite literally did not make any decisions about anything without the consult of the Lord? How would that change how we lived, what we thought, and where we went? It's kind of overwhelming to think about.

I've made snap decisions in my life where, looking back, I get almost embarrassed by how foolish they were. I did them because it was socially normal or encouraged, because I thought I was supposed to, or because I was just too anxious and impatient.

You could look through the whole Bible and see where people did their own thing and just got wrecked because of it. In Breakaway, Ben Stuart has been going through Exodus and the plight of the freed Israelite people. Let me tell you: they struggled. They constantly did things God via Moses told them not to do and, as a result, they wandered around the desert for 40 years. The 12 Disciples in the New Testament inadvertently put roadblocks in front of Jesus all the time--not letting the kids come hang out or telling people to leave Jesus alone. And then the Son of God is just over there like, "Really, bros? Do you still not know who I am yet and that I'm trying to rescue everyone here?"

The Israelis and the Disciples did what they thought was right without the consultation due to God. And that didn't exactly turn out beautifully for them for a good, long while. Only after they moved with the force of the Lord's will did they see their respective promised lands.

I have no doubt that this will ring true through the ages. 

I'm a complete disaster (but slowly figuring it out)

The fact that...

1. My arms were sore after using 5lb weights last week in my strength training class

2. My legs felt like they had been product of Gilderoy Lockhart's bone "mending" spell after today's work out--which included squats with a 10lb weight and, like, 30 leg presses (with no weights)

3. I've never been more than 5 minutes late to my 8ams

4. I read somewhere around 300 pages today.

5. None of those pages were in my textbooks.

6. All of those pages were in John Green's tear-jerker of a novel "The Fault In Our Stars"

7. It's been one year since I did that thing in Goodwill (don't know what I'm talking about? Good.)

8. I'm on my way to being a staff writer for the nationally-acclaimed school newspaper

9. I jumped/fell off of a bench last weekend and have a bruise (that is now green and yellow) on my right leg the size of a baseball

...is all fairly remarkable.

Somehow, people still let me go out in public. I don't know why my roommates trust me in society, but they do. So there's that.

Well today, instead of reading what I should be reading for my English classes (for real though, everything Aristotle wrote is so far over my head that there really isn't even a point in trying, right?), I decided to heed the words of my roommate and read "The Fault In Our Stars". Coming from the girl who stayed bone-dry in showings of "Titanic" and "The Notebook", and reading "My Sister's Keeper", it's pretty impressive that this book could successfully elicit the ugly cry from me. Granted, I did bawl my guts out in the last episode of "Prison Break" and all throughout the final "Harry Potter" book.  

Moving past the sheer emotion of the novel, I'm pretty disappointed in myself that I owned the book for a full six months before cracking it open. For shame.

In other literary news, I am well on my way to becoming a regular staff member of A&M's school newspaper, The Battalion. I think my first article comes out tomorrow if I saw the board right. But who knows? Frankly, I'm just a little surprised that they're letting me, you know, do things. Considering the fact that I regularly trip over the same crack in the main plaza of campus, it's a little shocking that I have any responsibilities at all. Do they necessarily know that though? Nope.

It's been a rough week for me in the sports world--A&M fell to Alabama (by a single touch down, so I'm not too torn up) on Saturday. And the Rangers just broke a 7-game losing streak today. They fell to 6.5 behind the Oakland A's for first place in the American League West. The Cowboys lost by a point--which is so classic Cowboys that I've long since stopped being a fan. The one shining ray of light is that t.u. has lost by at least 20 points the past two weeks, and A&M could kick their burnt orange behinds like you wouldn't believe.

Also, I'm pretty sure I'm lactose intolerant. But who knows? I'm just avoiding large amounts of dairy until I can go home and ask the doctor what's up. So long, cereal and ice cream.

My public speaking class is still completely terrifying, but I'm not quite as awful as I thought I was at talking about irrelevant things in front of people. Who knew?

Otherwise, junior year is promising to be chaotic, amazing, beautiful, and not without love.

Welcome to my blessed hot mess.

God is cool, I'm an upperclassman, public speaking is terrifying, and my new/old house

Howdy.

So 162 staff and somewhere around 600 incoming freshman invaded a small camp near Waco on August 9th for Impact. What's Impact? See this link for more information. That'll give you a thorough overview, but it's basically a Christian orientation camp for the A&M/Blinn class of 2017. Like last year, I was a counselor and was--for some reason--put in charge of 8 freshman with my goofy partner Andy. God continues to put me at the head of things I am not equipped to do, so there's that 2 Corinthians 12:9 popping up again.

My freshmen blew me out of the water, wanting to talk right off the bus. They opened up during serious time, weren't afraid to dance whenever the music was playing, and enjoyed taking selfies with me. So it was a recipe for success. Delta Gad (our camp), dominated the camp-wide tug-of-war and were just general pros at everything. I love my Gadsters. The Lord did serious work in the class of 2017 and I am pumped to see how he continues to work in the lives of my small group hooligans.


In other news, I'm a junior now. It's weird to think that eighteen months ago, I was still in my freshman year. But now I can whoop. And know things. Like what dining halls to avoid at what time (Duncan is a corps haven...but just for the corps). Or the secret passages to and from places (those are secrets). Or the fact that the financial aid office also has a restaurant that serves delicious hamburgers (who knew, right?). You discover these things, which is a blast. But also kind of terrifying that I'm a junior. Like, what happened to freshman and sophomore year? When did I get this old? The fact that college is flying by so quickly really challenges me to take the time that I have seriously and not bump around doing meaningless things. The decisions I make here have a lasting impact on how I'm going to live my life.

I'm not saying that I won't stay up too late marathoning a season of "Lost", or that I won't waste time seeing a movie in theaters...for the third time. But I am saying that I am aware of how my college days are racing past and how much I can be used in this place by my Savior.


Well, since I am a junior, I figured it was time for me to sign up for a freshman level class: public speaking. When I walked in today, my professor got on like six soapboxes and cussed probably double that amount. Today, I had to do a simple introduction to my 20 person class and my hands were shaking like nuts. So yeah this class will be an adventure. A terrifying, nightmarish adventure.


Last update: the little house on Fairview. Rachel, Joy, Myles, and I moved into a house that's a stone's throw from campus and love it (mostly). The AC is kind of janky sometimes and our garbage disposal is even jankier, but I kind of love the house. Keeping the same lovely roomies as last year (Myles says "say I'm the funniest"), we relocated our bodies, some throw pillows, and a lot of accumulated furniture into a 3-bedroom house. Rachel and I have bunk beds with matching comforters because we're 5-year-old twin sisters. The only downfalls of bunking up is where to put my laptop when I'm done using it for the night and the fact that my fan is six inches from lopping my foot off in the night. My big toe took a beating last night. Oops.

But really, I love having my own little house to pad around in. I got a fish--Randy--who has defied the odds and lived for a whole week (Rachel lost the bet). Myles and Joy think that he'll die in month. My personal goal is to keep him alive until November at the earliest. Long Live Randy! Who has the worst fish name in history (Joy's fault).


Moral of all of this? Life is good. God is better. So here comes junior year.

A A A WHOOP!