Sitcom Life

So, I've had this running joke with a friend that my life is kind of a sitcom. You know, those moments that just kind of happen and you watch them on TV thinking, "Yeah, that's funny, but wouldn't actually happen."

I'm here to tell you that, yes, in fact, those aforementioned improbable moments do take place. And I am a victim of them.

Today's adventure to the eye doctor is a testament to that.


My vision closely resembles an armadillo's (as in very bad) without corrective lenses. I was wearing bifocals as a 21-month-old. Basically a real-life version of Benjamin Button. So I'm no stranger to eye appointments. The summer before my freshman year of high school, I decided to forgo the thick glasses I'd been sporting my whole life and try contacts. After some time, I got the hang of it and got into the groove of using them. But occasionally, I'd manage to get my contact stuck in my eye. Like, try to get it out and end up moving it off of the iris and into the depths of my eyeball. It's uncomfortable and a tedious process to get it out. It hasn't happened to me in a long time--months, maybe a year. But of course, today, while at the doctor, it happened to me.

The nurse lady tried in vain to get it out, but to no avail. So we just went ahead with all the tests, with the contact still floating around somewhere in my eye. During this time, I had to go get pictures of my retina taken. It took several attempts because I kept blinking and she was getting frustrated. I was just getting embarrassed.

So then we moved to the actual exam room (I hate that phrase...it sounds so awful) where Dr. Curtis took a shot at it. Dr. Curtis and my dad were fraternity brothers at TCU, so that basically gives him permission to make fun of me. Good times with that.

Then when he was doing the real examination part, I managed to get the rolly chair stuck and knocked his machine off balance. And got my right and left confused.

It was just generally unfortunate.

Then I went to Office Depot to get more notebooks for school while wearing my Delta Asher Impact shirt (Impact post to come later). Our theme this year had been Super SmASHER Bros because we were Camp Asher (Asher being one of the 12 tribes of Israel, which was what all the camps were named after). The nerdy cashier then proceeded to ask me all about my skills at Smash Bros and, when he found out that I normally got last place, gave me all sorts of tips on how to win next time. Moral of the story: get Fox and press "B down" twice to stun your opponent, but that only works if you're close to who you want to stun. Real moral of the story: avoid Alan at Office Depot from now on.

Sometimes I wish I had a "normal" life. But then, what is "normal", anyway?