Wednesday, December 18, 2013

My short career as a journalist

Well you guys, I had a nice stint as a journalist writing for A&M's newspaper. It lasted all of three months and I got a definitive answer on one of my life questions: my career path will not include reporting.

I'm pretty not good at it, in my fairly critical opinion (though despite my deadline missing habits and a feeling of "I have no idea what I'm doing", the editors liked me and what I wrote). The writing part was fine. Great, even. I loved being able to sit down and crank something out because I love to write and I was writing something that was not analytical of a novel or a research paper about educational theories. It was something that people my age would read and may be interested in.

The cause of my journalistic demise was the knowledge that I was so not a journalist. Not even a little bit. Calling up people and asking them all these questions felt like an intrusion into their lives and an inconvenience of their time. I felt horribly guilty if a story didn't run because I had hunted down these people and wasted their time.

I know that's not what it was. Not really, anyways. Interviews didn't take very long and people were open to talk about things they liked and were involved in. But still. The self-conscious and insecure part of me felt really bad about a story not running, but I knew it was because of logistics and other stories in the paper that were going to be run.

I learned a lot. Without a doubt, I learned a lot. That part was really cool. I feel like I have a glimpse of what working for a publisher looks like. Maybe not extensively (probably not, let's be real here), but I know what it means to write on a deadline now and to have people waiting on things in your hands. The amount stress was surprising and kept me up at night--which is funny, because my job was the minimum amount of everyone who worked for the paper. Just further confirmation that journalism and fast-and-hard stories aren't my strong suit.

Do I regret it? Nope. Not even a little bit. It was a valuable experience and I'm glad I did it. But unless I'm interviewed for something, you probably won't see my name in the Battalion next semester.

The next step in the adventure is on its way.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Feelin' 22

Yeah so I've been 22 for about three weeks at this point, but I think we can all agree that my blogging game has been off for like the past year. Relatively similar to the Rangers past season.

Anyways.

As per tradition, here are twenty two things that I've learned/observed/that are notable in the past year/22 years.

1. Being told you're an Impact co-chair is excellent. Especially when you get that glorious email on your birthday.

2. Though sometimes I question why people put me in positions of leadership because I choked on water so badly the other day that I made these horrible noises that sounded like a dying goose. Like for real, y'all, infants can drink liquids better than I can.

3. Blue Bell ice cream is unquestionably the best kind of ice cream. Especially when it's right off the line and hasn't been frozen so it's all melty and soft and you feel like you could stick your face in it forever and it be totally okay.

4. The Texas Rangers have successfully traded 4 of their best/most famous players. Yeah, I'm still crying. I'll miss you, David Murphy, Ian Kinsler, Craig Gentry, and AJ Pierzynski.

5. Trying to combine the English and Education departments at A&M is like trying to mix oil and water. Sorry I'm complicated y'all.

6. I think Johnny Manziel has a shot in the NFL. Sue me.

7. Having the top bunk in a room with a 7'4" ceiling isn't bad. I've only whacked my noggin once. I'd consider that a victory.

8. I would rather have a small house with character than a big house that doesn't feel like a home.

9. Disney has still got it, you guys. "Frozen" was legit.

10. I've seen some really incredible sunsets this year. I don't know what it is, but the artist is working. (that was corny and I'm sorry but I'm also not)

11. Those little party noisemaker things can entertain a group of twenty-somethings for at least 10 minutes. My apologies to my neighbors.

12. I am such a bad dancer. Like such an awkward white girl with zero rhythmic abilities whatsoever. 

13. Being able to hang out and lead a group of Phi Lamb pledges this past semester was a blast. I loved being able to see how God was working through their freshman year.

14. My Impact nuggets are the bomb, y'all. Like the Struggle Muggle freshman are so great.

15. I'm becoming a Marvel nerd. Can't get enough of that stuff. Captain America, I'm yours.

16. My roommates are the best.

17. I am not a journalist. My brief stint with the Battalion told me that much.

18. But I am still distinctly a writer. Trying to figure out where all that comes into play.

19. Going to some of the football press conferences were some of the coolest experiences of the year. Like, hey, Malcome Kennedy. Why yes, I will return your smile.

20. There is nothing I can do that will mess up God's plan. I may complicate things, but He is bigger than me.

21. I still don't get Gossip Girl.

22. Yep, I'm feeling it.

Another great year. X number more to come. Thanks, and gig 'em.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Omega Benji 2014 (I think I'm in charge?)

So Impact.

That Christian orientation camp I've blogged about like six million times? The experience as a freshman, two years of counselorship (is that a word?), and all other things involved with it? Yeah that. Well, my leadership in that has expanded.

Each camp--consisting of 18 people--is split up into three different roles (it's lopsided, don't worry about it). Of that, 14 are counselors (what I've been). Two of those are on prayer team, which their sole job is to pray for and support everyone else in the camp. So they basically have to be real servant hearted. The last two are the cochairs, who are like the parents of the group.

So...just call me Mom.

Yeah, for whatever reason the executive leaders of Impact decided to put me in a power position. There are 54 cochairs total--27 girls and 27 guys. We are then split up into sessions--Alpha is first, Delta is second, and Omega is the last. Then we get our camps, which are named after the twelve tribes of Israel. We only use 9 of those and I don't know why we use the 9 that we do. They also have corresponding colors that Impact has given them to identify themselves. Asher (aqua), Benjamin (Benji--yellow), Gad (orange), Issachar (silver), Reuben (red), Simeon (green), Zebulun (purple), Judah (royal blue), and Naphtali (pink). My first year I was Asher, the next I was Gad, and now I'm Benji.

Last year, I informed my roommates that I didn't want Gad. I got Gad. This year, I told them I didn't want Benji. I got Benji. This is all purely based on color preferences.

I know that God is just up there loling away.

So my partnerships are going to be super important this year. My fellow cochair Tyler and I will essentially be the ones setting the tone for the camp. We'll be the "counselor" models for our counselors to follow. It's us. We will set a vision for our camp, pick counselors who fit that, and start building relationships with them so they can better share the Gospel to their freshman in August. Needless to say, Tyler and I will be working with each other quite a bit.

Then there are my stud prayer teamers--Emma and Elijah. Emma was a cochair last year, so she's going to be such a great support role for me this year because she's been there. She and I will be each others support as well as the support to our girl counselors. Tyler and Elijah will have the same roles but with the dudes in our camp.

Right now, it's just the four of us that make up Omega Benji. The other 14 will come in February (eeeek!). And then the other 70 will get here in August (waddup, fightin Texas Aggie class of 2018).

It's incredible how the Lord has shown how specifically I am made to be a cochair this year. Through the little things and the big things, there is not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that this is where I am supposed to be. Following Christ. Leading a camp. Tyler and I have our work cut out for us, even with the help and endless prayers of Emma and Elijah. But I am confident in the job that has been set before me and that I will not be given more than I can handle. The Enemy will threaten and scare and lie. But I stand on the Solid Rock. And the Lord God will not let me be moved.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

I don't get Gossip Girl

Here's the deal, you guys. My roommates love that CW show Gossip Girl and never stop talking about how beautiful the love between Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf is. The whole concept of the show--bratty, rich, Upper East Side-rs who text everyone's secrets to this one person who then spills all the secrets to everyone on the list server--is completely ridiculous. "Who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell. XOXO, Gossip Girl."

I love shows like 24 and Prison Break. Give me an epic "save the world" story any day. But my curiosity got the better of me this weekend and I ventured into the great unknown of Manhattan's most privileged fictional characters.

I finished the first season today. Yeah, that took all of 4 days. But even after cranking through 18 episodes like it was my job, I still just don't get it. Chuck Bass is a creep. Blair is the worst. Nate and Dan are the only ones with a moral bone in their bodies. And Serena has all kinds of skeletons in her closet. What's the allure? Why does anyone watch this show? Why am I?

My reasoning is twofold. The first reason I think I'm still watching it is to see when Chuck Bass stops being the worst and when his character finally develops into the swoon-worthy stud of a man Rachel, Myles, and Joy talk about all the time. Right now he's just kind of a creep. The second reason is that their lives are so privileged. Chuck Bass hands out $10,000 just for funsies. Blair can just fly to France whenever she wants to.

Normal people aren't like that.

Normal people don't have a couple hundred thousand dollars in a trust fund or get lunches that cost $120 on a weekday.

So maybe that's the pull. These people live absolutely crazy lives of money and parties and easy come, easy go. Their happiness is hard and short-lived, but it is so fun to watch. The roller coaster that they ride on every day is fascinating to Suburbia, USA.

Do I wish my biggest struggle of the day is having to live in a luxury hotel? Sure. I wouldn't hate that. But I do want unlimited money for my own usage at my fingertips? I don't know. Money is made by people and people have a tendency to be greedy and self-serving. Not all of us are controlled by that, but there's a piece in all of us that is.

The drama that constantly surrounds them is interesting to watch, but nothing in me wants that for myself.

So is that it? Their lives are so amazingly crazy, it reminds us of our sanity?

I don't have an answer. I wish I did, because after I've bashed the show for so long, my roommates are teasing me for caving now.

This is a weird post. I'll keep y'all updated if I find any deep revelations about the human condition in my continued watching.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Keep it Classy, Ags

A&M is known for being a loud and proud university (even when we didn't necessarily have the bragging rights to be so). Since the rise of a nationally-best offense on the football field and a bigger freshman class than ever before, our right to brag has, well, been justified to an extent.

But this is not a post to talk about how great A&M is (even though I totally could because duh).

This is also not one of those stupid open letters that crop up every 4.7 hours on Facebook.

This is a reminder to the 51,000+ students at this university to stay classy.

In 1876, Texas A&M University was founded as an all-male agriculture and mechanical university where every student was a member of the military-oriented Corps of Cadets. It was based on honor, integrity, service, respect. Through the development of a football team, organized student yells, and an undeniable spirit that can ne'er be told, we began to hold such qualities with very high esteem.

Somewhere along the line, we've managed to lose sight of some of those.

Old Army Ags will look at us, shake their heads, and grumble about this "New Army".

I think it needs to be said that "New Army" in this context is not a positive thing.

New Army is the loss of traditions that Old Ags hold near and dear. Not hissing an Aggie. Not booing during football games. Being respectful to classmates and fans repping a different color shirt. Not dropping the f-bomb after every missed tackle or showing up to the game high as a kite. Not giving dirty looks to people who encroach on your standing space. Not doing a paper, finishing homework, or studying for a test.

Not taking the "respect" aspect of the six core values of A&M seriously. 

Aggies, hold onto the traditions we were built on. 

This is not about how we've totally and completely fallen away from who we are as a university and a body of students. I have seen how we still make our founders proud. Chivalry is still thriving here in Aggieland. The way we treat fans from other teams is a testament to the fact that we are the Aggies, the Aggies are we. Kyle Field has been louder than I've ever heard it during some of these games. We've united for cold and rainy Silver Taps. We aren't afraid to smile at a stranger if we make eye contact with them while walking to class.

A&M is, arguably, one of the friendliest campuses in the nation.

So why are we having a hard time reflecting those things when Johnny scrambles around outside the pocket or we get a bad grade on a test? Why is our first inclination to curse under our breath and boo at our quarterback?

I want to be able to proudly say that my university still considers the values it was founded on to be its guides even today. But how can I do that when the guys behind me at the game are calling my roommate an "effing retard" when she wobbled off the bleachers because we were all crammed in together?

Ags, think about why you chose to go to A&M. Yeah, you'll get a good education that will send you into the real world with a real chance of getting a job. But the traditions, the values, the honor, the feeling of slipping that gold Aggie bling onto your finger--doesn't any of that stand for something?


It does for me. I can only hope that it does for you too.

Thanks, and gig 'em.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

We Won't Move Without You

Jeff Johnson has consistently been introducing me to my favorite new songs since August of 2011 (thanks Impact!). Through Breakaway and three rounds at Latham Springs for that Impact life, good music has been a constant factor. I'm one of those people who worships best by singing (the irony is kind of overwhelming for this tone-deaf diva); in terms of feeling, that's when I feel closest to Christ.

This past session of Impact, we learned a song where the bridge repeated "we won't move without You", which 1. really struck me and 2. made me think.

Like, what if we quite literally did not make any decisions about anything without the consult of the Lord? How would that change how we lived, what we thought, and where we went? It's kind of overwhelming to think about.

I've made snap decisions in my life where, looking back, I get almost embarrassed by how foolish they were. I did them because it was socially normal or encouraged, because I thought I was supposed to, or because I was just too anxious and impatient.

You could look through the whole Bible and see where people did their own thing and just got wrecked because of it. In Breakaway, Ben Stuart has been going through Exodus and the plight of the freed Israelite people. Let me tell you: they struggled. They constantly did things God via Moses told them not to do and, as a result, they wandered around the desert for 40 years. The 12 Disciples in the New Testament inadvertently put roadblocks in front of Jesus all the time--not letting the kids come hang out or telling people to leave Jesus alone. And then the Son of God is just over there like, "Really, bros? Do you still not know who I am yet and that I'm trying to rescue everyone here?"

The Israelis and the Disciples did what they thought was right without the consultation due to God. And that didn't exactly turn out beautifully for them for a good, long while. Only after they moved with the force of the Lord's will did they see their respective promised lands.

I have no doubt that this will ring true through the ages. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I'm a complete disaster (but slowly figuring it out)

The fact that...

1. My arms were sore after using 5lb weights last week in my strength training class

2. My legs felt like they had been product of Gilderoy Lockhart's bone "mending" spell after today's work out--which included squats with a 10lb weight and, like, 30 leg presses (with no weights)

3. I've never been more than 5 minutes late to my 8ams

4. I read somewhere around 300 pages today.

5. None of those pages were in my textbooks.

6. All of those pages were in John Green's tear-jerker of a novel "The Fault In Our Stars"

7. It's been one year since I did that thing in Goodwill (don't know what I'm talking about? Good.)

8. I'm on my way to being a staff writer for the nationally-acclaimed school newspaper

9. I jumped/fell off of a bench last weekend and have a bruise (that is now green and yellow) on my right leg the size of a baseball

...is all fairly remarkable.

Somehow, people still let me go out in public. I don't know why my roommates trust me in society, but they do. So there's that.

Well today, instead of reading what I should be reading for my English classes (for real though, everything Aristotle wrote is so far over my head that there really isn't even a point in trying, right?), I decided to heed the words of my roommate and read "The Fault In Our Stars". Coming from the girl who stayed bone-dry in showings of "Titanic" and "The Notebook", and reading "My Sister's Keeper", it's pretty impressive that this book could successfully elicit the ugly cry from me. Granted, I did bawl my guts out in the last episode of "Prison Break" and all throughout the final "Harry Potter" book.  

Moving past the sheer emotion of the novel, I'm pretty disappointed in myself that I owned the book for a full six months before cracking it open. For shame.

In other literary news, I am well on my way to becoming a regular staff member of A&M's school newspaper, The Battalion. I think my first article comes out tomorrow if I saw the board right. But who knows? Frankly, I'm just a little surprised that they're letting me, you know, do things. Considering the fact that I regularly trip over the same crack in the main plaza of campus, it's a little shocking that I have any responsibilities at all. Do they necessarily know that though? Nope.

It's been a rough week for me in the sports world--A&M fell to Alabama (by a single touch down, so I'm not too torn up) on Saturday. And the Rangers just broke a 7-game losing streak today. They fell to 6.5 behind the Oakland A's for first place in the American League West. The Cowboys lost by a point--which is so classic Cowboys that I've long since stopped being a fan. The one shining ray of light is that t.u. has lost by at least 20 points the past two weeks, and A&M could kick their burnt orange behinds like you wouldn't believe.

Also, I'm pretty sure I'm lactose intolerant. But who knows? I'm just avoiding large amounts of dairy until I can go home and ask the doctor what's up. So long, cereal and ice cream.

My public speaking class is still completely terrifying, but I'm not quite as awful as I thought I was at talking about irrelevant things in front of people. Who knew?

Otherwise, junior year is promising to be chaotic, amazing, beautiful, and not without love.

Welcome to my blessed hot mess.

Monday, August 26, 2013

God is cool, I'm an upperclassman, public speaking is terrifying, and my new/old house

Howdy.

So 162 staff and somewhere around 600 incoming freshman invaded a small camp near Waco on August 9th for Impact. What's Impact? See this link for more information. That'll give you a thorough overview, but it's basically a Christian orientation camp for the A&M/Blinn class of 2017. Like last year, I was a counselor and was--for some reason--put in charge of 8 freshman with my goofy partner Andy. God continues to put me at the head of things I am not equipped to do, so there's that 2 Corinthians 12:9 popping up again.

My freshmen blew me out of the water, wanting to talk right off the bus. They opened up during serious time, weren't afraid to dance whenever the music was playing, and enjoyed taking selfies with me. So it was a recipe for success. Delta Gad (our camp), dominated the camp-wide tug-of-war and were just general pros at everything. I love my Gadsters. The Lord did serious work in the class of 2017 and I am pumped to see how he continues to work in the lives of my small group hooligans.


In other news, I'm a junior now. It's weird to think that eighteen months ago, I was still in my freshman year. But now I can whoop. And know things. Like what dining halls to avoid at what time (Duncan is a corps haven...but just for the corps). Or the secret passages to and from places (those are secrets). Or the fact that the financial aid office also has a restaurant that serves delicious hamburgers (who knew, right?). You discover these things, which is a blast. But also kind of terrifying that I'm a junior. Like, what happened to freshman and sophomore year? When did I get this old? The fact that college is flying by so quickly really challenges me to take the time that I have seriously and not bump around doing meaningless things. The decisions I make here have a lasting impact on how I'm going to live my life.

I'm not saying that I won't stay up too late marathoning a season of "Lost", or that I won't waste time seeing a movie in theaters...for the third time. But I am saying that I am aware of how my college days are racing past and how much I can be used in this place by my Savior.


Well, since I am a junior, I figured it was time for me to sign up for a freshman level class: public speaking. When I walked in today, my professor got on like six soapboxes and cussed probably double that amount. Today, I had to do a simple introduction to my 20 person class and my hands were shaking like nuts. So yeah this class will be an adventure. A terrifying, nightmarish adventure.


Last update: the little house on Fairview. Rachel, Joy, Myles, and I moved into a house that's a stone's throw from campus and love it (mostly). The AC is kind of janky sometimes and our garbage disposal is even jankier, but I kind of love the house. Keeping the same lovely roomies as last year (Myles says "say I'm the funniest"), we relocated our bodies, some throw pillows, and a lot of accumulated furniture into a 3-bedroom house. Rachel and I have bunk beds with matching comforters because we're 5-year-old twin sisters. The only downfalls of bunking up is where to put my laptop when I'm done using it for the night and the fact that my fan is six inches from lopping my foot off in the night. My big toe took a beating last night. Oops.

But really, I love having my own little house to pad around in. I got a fish--Randy--who has defied the odds and lived for a whole week (Rachel lost the bet). Myles and Joy think that he'll die in month. My personal goal is to keep him alive until November at the earliest. Long Live Randy! Who has the worst fish name in history (Joy's fault).


Moral of all of this? Life is good. God is better. So here comes junior year.

A A A WHOOP!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Two down, two to go (nooooooooooo!!)

Yes, reader, that is the sad truth I've been reminded of.

My time at Texas A&M University is at it's halfway point and year three is fast approaching. 27 more days of claiming junior privileges but not wanting to accept the fact that I am now a scary, knowledgeable upperclassman. I shudder at the very thought.

But the fact of the matter is that time is still hurtling forward, full speed ahead. Fears like "Am I going to get a job after college?", "Will I get to student teach near College Station?", and "Is Alabama going to crush us this year in football?" keep swarming into my mind. I keep casting my eyes onto a horizon that I can't see (despite the fact that I'm severely farsighted). And the inability to know what lies ahead is a little disturbing.

The book of Matthew assures us that tomorrow has it's own worries and that we'll get there when we get there. But I can say that verse all day and dream about it all night. When will it kick into effect? I'm already worried my Delta Gad freshman will think I'm a total psycho when I'm not even finished hanging out with my VRBC nuggets. I'm concerned for my lack of plans pertaining to next summer when this summer hasn't even shut down yet.

I know all the right answers.

Why can't I execute it then? Why is my life sounding like a math problem I can't figure out?

Possibly because I'm small and stupid, insecure and uninformed. Things I used to view as shameful and weak, but that are actually comforting. If you know where to look. 2 Corinthians 12:9 has been a brilliant verse for me--reminding me that I am weaker than weak. Studying Ephesians this summer has brought to light how deeply loved I am and how there truly is a plan for me. Linley. It's not generic and it's not flippant. It was designed specifically for me and my strengths and my flaws.

I wish I could say that I'm ready for junior year and to bring it on. But really, I just want to focus on what's right in front of me. And when planning for the future is right in front of me, then I will do what I need to. But when that time comes, I know I will be equipped with what I need and supported by who needs to support me. I'm confident in the God who protects and loves me and by the family and friends who will stand by me.

So, Impact, junior year, Crimson Tide? Hi. I'm Linley. I'm not 100% sure where my life is going, but I'm 100% sure of the things I need to know right now. The rest will come when in due time. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

Siri is stupid and an excellent example of how sin is stupid

One of my closest friends/roommates lives in Fort Worth--a 45ish minute drive from my house. This week, our other two roomies were in town and I obviously couldn't be within an hour of them and not see them. It would be a crime, practically.

So I rolled out of church/work to go hang out and spend the night. While the drive was traffic filled (Dallas is the worst), my little, demanding friend Siri didn't get overly confused until we actually hit my roommate's neighborhood, where I took some janky, roundabout method to get to her house. Then, the following day, Siri was having some MAJOR issues getting me out of Fort Worth and back to my house.

Thankfully, I knew the highways I was supposed to take and can read road signs. But I still kept my maps open, just to see where she would try and direct me.

Like every Christian out there, I thought of a spiritual metaphor (oh, you don't do those?...weird) as pertaining to my situation.

Listening to Siri's misled instructions telling me to go I35 South or exit 19th street would've taken me anywhere but home. And I have often listened to and heeded what she's told me and it's caused me a lot of angst, road rage, and gas money. She'll make me go way out of the way in an attempt to get me from point a to point b. And it rarely turns out how I want it to.

No, this is not a bash on Apple's maps (though they really do need to work on those).

Siri is like the sin in our lives (how corny is that?). All too often, we know what direction we're supposed to be headed. But our misguided minds tell us that other routes work just as well, or will even be better. When we follow these paths, it always looks good for a little while. Then you get stuck or run out of gas and find that you're way far away from home and totally lost. Sin's instruction was destruction.

Siri has told me tons of directions that have taken me to the airport, en route to Houston, and to some warehouse in Dallas, when I knew that something was wrong but didn't know how to fix it.

That's when we need to know that the roads that the Lord has set out for us are good and true. He will not lead us to a place that will ruin us just to ruin us. The roadblocks and detours he takes us through are for the benefit of our lives and, in the long run, prevent us from even worse situations than what we faced on his path.

If I've learned anything, it's to not doubt what I know to be true, even if I'm being told otherwise.

Sin is loud. But we are told in the Psalms to be still and know.


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A Coke-can sized love (and how unimpressive it is when you're less than the least)

Well. It's been like 4 months since I've last blogged. Way to go, insightful English major. But better way overdue than never. Isn't that how the saying goes?

Short, incomplete recap: I successfully finished my sophomore year with a still growing GPA, despite the 4 seasons of Prison Break I went through. I don't know how it happens, but my grades only get better when Netflix is in the mix. My roommates are the best. A&M is figuring out how to deal with a diva of a quarterback. Alabama wants to eat us. And God continues to remind me how much of an idiot I am and how--in the paraphrased words of Icona Pop--he doesn't care, he loves me. Though I wish he would make time slow down because there's no stinkin' way I'm about to start my junior year at A&M. Can I be on the football team just so Sumlin can redshirt me for a year? Can upperclassman even be redshirted?

Anyways. 

So this summer I've been one of the youth interns at the church I grew up in, which has been crazy awesome and I floored by how God is proving himself to be faithful and strong through me. He's put me in a position of influence for some reason. A weird concept, considering this is the girl who regularly chokes on water.

But in the Wednesday night Bible study I've been co-leading, we've been studying Ephesians. The 3rd chapter talks about how big God's love is and Paul (like, THE Paul) says that he is less than the least (verse 8). Which is pretty mind-blowing. I mean, this guy wrote over half of the New Testament. And aside from Jesus (duh), was probably the most obedient follower of Christ ever. You don't get much more sold out for the Gospel than this guy. And to think that he's describing himself has lower than the worst, as sub-human, as dirt? What does that mean for us? What does that mean for the girl who can't do a quiet time consistently for over a week? For the guy who has a pride that swallows everything else? For the man who preaches trust but holds back his finances? For the woman who thinks she's a Proverbs 31 woman but is deeply insecure about herself? Is there any hope for us?

Yes. Ephesians 3:14-21 is testament to that. The love of God is high, deep, far, and wide. It's huge. It encompasses everything. No amount of hatred can dampen it. That's why Jesus came. He came for the world. For those who thought they were living right (but weren't) and for those who knew they were messed up (and are).

Francis Chan describes the love of humans as the size of a Coke can. We can be as full as we can be. We can even be overflowing. But it's little. It's a Coke can. Easily emptied. Consumed quickly. And afterward, we're still thirsty. It doesn't satisfy completely, though. Maybe a craving, sure. But it's not a source of hydration.

But the love of God is like an ocean with fresh water. It's immeasurable. It will never run dry. It sustains. It's the very reason why a savior was sent for the scum inhabitants of an earth that was designed to glorify its creator. We fell on our faces and never looked back. Thankfully, though, we're being chased by a God who loves us deeply with no good reason. The ocean doesn't have a reason to exist and is impossible to tame. God's love doesn't belong in a Coke can and exists because it just does. We have no reason to be loved. But we are.

Less than the least. Loved by the greatest that is.


Credits:
Ephesians 3
Francis Chan (and Nicole F. for bringing it to my attention)

Sunday, March 17, 2013

My trip to London...in tweets

So I went to London over spring break with one of my English classes. While there, I didn't have consistent wifi and had a ton of things I wanted to post on Twitter (because I'm a Twitter fiend). So I made a list of things I would've said. They don't include hashtags and I don't know how many characters, for those who are on the tweet police. Here we go.

Plane to London:
If there aren't any good movies on this flight I'm not gonna be happy.
Oooh, cute British boy next to me on the plane. Helloooo there.
WHERE THE HECK IS MY MINI TV
Oh, hiding in my armrest. Homeboy (not the cute one) who has bad breath helped me out.
The Bourne Legacy. Not that great of a movie. Redeeming point: Jeremy Renner.
I've literally slept an hour on this flight. Yeah, it's as miserable as it sounds.
Looper is also a very strange movie. Still trying to figure that one out.
FINALLY. THIS FLIGHT IS OVER.
Cute boy is married. In case anyone was curious.

Day 1
It's raining y'all. Shocker.
The highway looks remarkably like I35. Except everyone is driving on the wrong side of the road.
Metric system. What is this.
Why does America not conform to normal ways of measurement? This is getting complicated.
Those little black cabs aren't just in movies. They're real. Resisting urge to take a picture.
Harrod's is the Macy's of London. Except like a million times more absurd.
The mesh between modern and historical is nuts.
Piccadilly Circus isn't actually a circus, for those of you who are as confused as I was
One of my roommates just said "I brought money for booze and food", so this week will be an adventure.

Day 2
My apartment is so hot that I didn't even sleep under the covers. Yeesh.
DANG IT'S SO COLD OUTSIDE.
I love London.
Homeboy tour guide keeps cracking himself up with jokes we don't get. Awkward.
I've seen JK Rowling's, George Orwell's, and Sean Connery's London homes. Wow.
There's an absurd amount of sports cars here. And there's perpetually traffic.
I just saw the places Jack the Ripper killed his victims. Dang.
I'm a boss at the tube. DON'T STOP ME NOW

Day 3
Welp. Woke up late this morning and my TA yelled at me. Because she wasn't 30 minutes late yesterday or anything...
This post WWII architectural tour of the London business district is probably the most miserable experience of my life. Boring, and it's -8C outside.
So this morning is basically the worst.
Are you kidding me. She just skipped the spot where Diagon Alley was filmed. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
Dr. V, bless you for letting us escape.
I still can't believe she skipped Harry Potter. What is wrong with that woman.
In other news, the Tower of London is the coolest thing ever.
It's like 1000 years old. Literally.
French food is shockingly delicious. Said the American.

Day 4
It's bitterly cold. And snowing. Disaster.
Tour guide is an hour late. AKA time for breakfast.
Our guide is adorable, but I can't feel my toes. Win-lose situation.
No, cashier homeboy. Not every American is from NYC.
This lecture on 20th century London is pretty boring.
WADDEP LES MISERABLE  ON STAGE IN LONDON.
Wow. BRB weeping. That was beautiful.
Oh yeah sure, Berry the theater manager. We would love a tour of the stage.
That just happened. Oh my gosh.

Day 5
Wind is probably the worst thing ever.
Walking through the East End. My tour guide is a weirdo, but hilarious.
Just saw where the Liberty Bell was made. I love history.
Westminster Abbey. Holy cow.
There is a remarkable number of dead nobility and royalty.
Okay. Churchill's War Rooms rock. If you don't know what that is, google it.
Spotted: couple making out on the tube.
"Old Times" is a terrible play. Don't ever see it.

Day 6
Finally. A day where the wind isn't blowing my face off.
The Dickens museum is pretty cool. Not a huge Dickens fan, but, hey, I was just in homeboy's house!
That moment when you can't remember the name of a song and some cute, British boy next to you calls "Get Low" and you're like "YES."
Now the Sherlock Holmes museum is what I've really been waiting for.
Aw yeah. That was awesome. I love Sherlock Holmes.
The London Eye. Yes. So much yes.
London is a pretty incredible city, y'all.

Day 7
The Tate Museum of Modern Art? Nope. Exiled. Get me to Trafalgar Square.
But I did get to cross that one bridge that the Death Eaters wrecked in HP6
The British Library is so cool.
I just saw some of Shakespeare's manuscripts. My mind is so blown right now.
WHEN MYLES AND LINLEY MEET IN LONDON!!! Who really gets to see their roommate while they're both abroad? Like, this is awesome.
I just navigated the tube by myself. I win life.

Day 8
I just climbed 175 stairs. Pro status.
Athens Parthenon sculptures. So awesome I can't even handle it.
The Rosetta Stone is huge. I rename it the Rosetta Boulder.
Helloooo Windsor Castle.
This is the coolest place ever. I'm so blown away.
The Queen is in the building. WHERE YOU AT HOMEGIRL.
I've come full circle. Started the trip in the rain and am ending it in the rain.
Craving Fuego so badly right now.
Last dinner in London. Crazy. But it's time.

Day 9
It's 5:15 in the morning. Yep.
Oh my gosh. It's so dang cold out here.
Boom. All my pounds spent. I got some socks with the map of the London tube on them.
Sitting next to my prof on the plane.
He just said that the movie Bridesmaids was "a classic". All the lolz.
Homeboy in front of us has been hitting the happy juice like it's his job.
He definitely just stumbled into the bathroom, running into the food cart along the way. Nice.
Movie time. First choice: Spider-Man. Why hello there, Andrew Garfield.
Dr. V is passed out. Mouth open and everything.
Casino Royale Time. Waddup James Bond.
90% of my favorite fictional characters are British. And cover everything from Ron Weasley to James Bond.
All I want is Fuego right now.
How the heck am I supposed to go to the bathroom when my prof, who is still sound asleep, is in my way.
Boom. He just got up to check on everyone. I'm probably telepathic.
And my third movie of the flight is 101 Dalmatians.
Y'all. Cruella DeVil is a total psycho. And Anita and Rodger got married extraordinarily fast.
When Mr. Weasley and Dr. House steal 15 puppies...
Seriously, why did my parents let me watch this movie?
What the heck. All of Downton Abbey season 2 has been on British Airways TV and I didn't even know it. THIS IS THE WORST. Only have time for like 2 episodes.
Back in College Station. Customs took two hours. Hurrumph.
What. The trunk to the van that brought us up is super stuck.
Been sitting here for two hours while people try to wrench this thing open.
OF COURSE. Right when I leave to go get my car, they pop the trunk open. Typical.
FUEGO AT LONG LAST.
Home. In bed. What a trip.

So that was my London adventures in tweet form. It was an awesome trip, full of new discoveries, cool accents, the tube, freezing cold mornings, and a ton of incredible history. I can't wait to go back someday. 

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Update on my life

I need to be a lot better at blogging. So here's a random life update.

1. The house-hunting front is still going strong. We're following some leads. It's like we're detectives or something. But no lease has been signed and I'm getting antsy. No shocker on that one.

2. London is in about 18 days I think. So less than 3 weeks, which is pretty crazy. I'm so excited to go. And--hey! All my ducks got in a row and submitted online, which is awesome. I'm not normally that on top of things. Deadlines really put a fire under your belly.

3. It's pretty weird being a repeat counselor. It's great, of course. But my new camp does not understand my sense of humor and it has to change. Because it gets awkward.

4. I ran into one of my professors at church today. It was really cool because she's a cool professor. But also really pretty alarming because it was so unexpected. Like, was I supposed to talk about school with her? I don't know. It was just one of those situations where I didn't know how to react.

5. Mom and Dad, I apologize in advance for my awful math grades. Bear with me for a semester and all the pain will be over.

6. Related to that, it's pretty dang awesome to know that you're in the right major. That's one of the many areas that God has really blessed me--clarity.

7. Every weekend comes too slowly and goes too fast. Why does A&M not celebrate every holiday? Come on, regents board. Would celebrating President's Day really be so awful?

8. Recently learned that hammocks do not, in fact, come with straps. So I will be making a trip to Academy in the near future.

Yep, there's my life as of mid-February. Welcome to my jumbled, blessed hot mess.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Impact...AGAIN!

Yes, so this is a thing now. Linley scares the incoming freshman of A&M/Blinn: round two. After lots of tears, two roommates who are frighteningly good at lying (or just hiding the truth), several pages of journal entries, and one lost appetite, I woke up this morning to find an email from Impact waiting for me. And it confirmed what I'd been afraid to feel for the past 2 weeks: that I'm supposed to be involved in Impact.

Recap for the new readers: Impact is the Christian orientation camp at Texas A&M. It's mission is to serve the incoming freshman and bring them into the body of Christ in their new college community. There are 3 sessions (alpha, delta, and omega) and 9 camps named after the tribes of Israel (Asher, Benji, Judah, Gad, Zebulin, Reuben, Issachar, Naphtali, and Simeon). Each camp is in each session, so, for example, I was in Delta Asher last year. Within each camp was a structure of leadership. There are cochairs--which are a guy and a girl and they are in charge of the camp (run logistics, plan events, general leaders). Then there is the prayer team--again, another guy/girl combo and they're sole job is to pray and serve everyone involved in that camp and in Impact as a whole. Lastly, there are the counselors. 7 guys and 7 girls who are the ones who will be directly building relationships with the freshman. Retreat is in August and the whole spring semester before is bonding with your camp and getting ready to meet these new college kids and love them with the love of Christ.

So it's a pretty sweet deal.

Applying to be a repeat counselor was never something I doubted I would do. It was always just an obvious thing that I would. One of my roommates applied and got cochair and one of my other roommates applied and got prayer team. And the two weeks between me applying and me finding out were some of the most stressful weeks ever. Particularly the 48 hours between my roommates knowing and me knowing. Let's just suffice to say that I shed a lot of stress tears. A lot. Unfortunately, I didn't stick with what I knew and let myself be swayed by my over analytical mind. And all the over analyzing suggested that no, I would not be an Impact counselor again this year.

So my email this morning was a pleasant surprise. Truthfully, I'm learning a lot about the Lord's faithfulness. And how--after having the verse memorized for the past 5 years--I'm still forgetting the message behind Jeremiah 29:11. Would I have been devastated if Impact was a no-go? No, I don't believe so. The thing I was most stressed about was the not knowing. It could've gone either way and I would've been peaceful about the situation. But it was the fact that everyone in my apartment knew something that affected me directly and I didn't. The frustration was palpable. But Jesus tells us in Matthew that we aren't to worry about tomorrow, because it has it's own worries. After 21 years, you would think I would know that lesson now too.

Will it be pretty sad to have a new group message with 17 new people and to not rock the light blue (probably) all semester? Yeah. Definitely. Delta Asher was the best. But I'm pretty stoked to come together in a close friendship with 17 new people where our only bond will be the Gospel of Christ...and a new favorite color.

To my new cochairs: Everyone keeps talking about how awesome you are. And even though I meet you on Wednesday, know that I'm doing some investigating. I will discover this secret.

God is big. I'm not.

2 Corinthians 12:9.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

The Gospel of Love

At A&M, every year, this one guy and his wife come and stand in the central area of campus and carry on about how everyone is going to hell.  They particularly like to focus on sex, but any sort of sin will do for them to rant and rave about. And every year, a crowd of people forms around them and watches all day to hear what this guy--Brother Jed--is talking about (the wrath of God, the condemnation of our souls, etc).

Frankly, it's pretty frustrating.

Here's the deal, y'all. Brother Jed and I both believe in an all-powerful God who will be the one to pass the ultimate judgment. But I'm pretty sure that's where the similarities stop. Where he uses the fear of hell to scare people to run to a God who just sits up on his throne and condemns people (according to Jed), I try (operating word) to show people the God who, yes, passes judgment, but he also loves. Call me crazy, but I kind of don't think that anyone who gets yelled at for being a sinner by some dude who doesn't know he/she isn't going to be real receptive to whatever the angry man is saying about them. I know I wouldn't be.

Brother Jed is showing only a small part of God's judgment--and not even well. But Jed is far from perfect and the only person who can judge anyone else is God because he IS perfect. Jed is doing an excellent job, however, of making Christianity a mockery. He's embodying everything that non-Christians don't like about Christians: judgmental, rude, loud, opinionated, self-righteous. And we only encourage his behavior by circling around him and listening to what he's saying. 

This afternoon, there was a guy standing about 100 yards from Jed. This guy was speaking truth. Granted, he was going about it the same way Jed was--yelling. But I walked by him slowly and listened. This dude knew the Bible and everything that he was talking about was good stuff. I don't necessarily agree with the tactic, but I agree with his intentions. Jed is, from my observations, a modern day false prophet. Or like the pharises from the New Testament who just blurt things out and try to make their own rules. But why weren't people listening to this other guy instead of Jed? Because there were more theatrics in the latter? Because what this other guy was saying was actually truth?

I'm not bashing preaching. I take the Great Commission seriously when Christians are told to go out and make disciples and I think those spiritual leaders who devote their lives to the holy word of God are necessary. But is all this fire-and-brimstone fanfare the right way to go about it? I'm not inclined to think so. If anything, it's turning people away from God.

Our God is wrathful, yeah, because the world is messed up. But he solved the problem by sending his flawless son Jesus Christ to come die on the cross. Jesus lived in an imperfect world but was totally perfect. And he died to take the blame for every single sin that would ever be committed ever. God's wrath against humanity was unleashed on Jesus Christ so that we wouldn't have to take the hit for our own failures. As one of my favorite songs puts it "the wrath of God was satisfied/for every sin on Him was laid/here in the death of Christ, I live". Why did he do this? Because we are so desperately loved that God couldn't bear the thought of being separated from humanity. He was willing to sacrifice someone who had never screwed up in order that the rest of humanity may have hope of life after earth in a Heaven, together with God forever.

That's what Jed should be preaching. Not about hell and death and torture and why we're going to experience that if we don't "turn or burn".

My God is just, but Jesus already took the heat. Now, he's about forgiveness, grace, and unconditional love.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

So this year already...

We're 23 days into 2013--the year that wasn't supposed to exist. And it's already promising to be quite an adventure. Here's why.

1. It's house hunting season in College Station y'all. That means people are going crazy and our nice college town is well on it's way to becoming a shark tank. So far, I've looked at a few houses that I like, each with their ups and downs. The current focus is sort of a fixer-upper, but nothing a power sprayer, an extra layer of paint on the front door, and some shrubbery can't fix. I'll keep you posted on that one though.

2. I'm going to London this spring break. So that will be pretty neat. But also requires me to get all my ducks in a row and keep them there. My ducks are typically all over the place. I guess I'll keep you posted on that too.

3. Impact counselor applications, interviews, and rev nights are coming up in the next 2 weeks. I feel like Impact is where I'm supposed to be and I have such a heart for it, but the Lord works in mysterious ways, so we'll see! One more thing I'll keep you posted on.

4. Oh hey. So A&M is ranked #2 in the preseason college football standings. That is something we'll all get to wait and see on. Gig 'em.

5. Speaking of A&M's football team, we have a pretty awesome quarterback. Won the Heisman as a freshman. It's fine. And this little English nerd/sports fanatic happened to run into him in an elevator and took a picture with him. So that's something that my great-grandchildren will know about and have the picture of. Yes world, I have a picture with Johnny Manziel. Bask in my excellent timing and knowledge of football and rare moment of boldness.

6. This semester will probably be crazy. But I have a few things keeping me going. London. My picture with Johnny Football. And, above all, the knowledge that God is good.

So reader, I'll keep you posted.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

2012 in review

Sorry I've been so bad at blogging y'all. I blame finals, work, and Netflix.

Anyways. Here's my recap of 2012 in a nutshell.

It started rough. Rejections from 4 camps was not the most prime way to start a year, but the Lord was quick to show me his faithfulness in giving me Impact. Spring semester was defined by resting in how I was being so cared for by my friends, family, and God. Namely God. Impact was a huge blessing to me because it renewed a hope that I'd lost and pulled me off the wandering road I was on.

Spring ended and summer began. New lessons came in the form of patience, tolerance, and confidence. When you work somewhere that doesn't have a strong Christian basis, it's going to make you adapt and make a choice: follow Christ or slip into the world. And after having a semester where I was totally surrounded by people who were sold out for Christ, it was a bit of a culture shock. I was asked to go party several Saturday nights and had to explain why I didn't drink. I had to make sure that I wasn't being rude to people I didn't like and not complaining about things I disagreed with. As for confidence...let's just say that I was reaffirmed of my socially acceptable personality and started seeing myself through the Lord's eyes and not my own.

Impact began on August. FINALLY. After preparing all spring semester and all summer, I met the freshman I'd been praying for over the past 8 months. And they were worth the wait. My fellow counselors and I were blown away by how open they were to listening to us and wanted to hang out with us. The Lord has been so good in helping me to keep relationships with the freshman who I can now call my friends. They're awesome and I've seen God do some awesome things in their lives.

Fall semester was another semester of figuring out college. I rested in Christ more than ever and was peaceful, joyful, and hopeful. I also learned that dropping a class was okay. Who knew? The Lord also was constant in reminding me how I was lovable--he wouldn't die for someone who wasn't. Am I right? And my living situation took a turn from "good" to "excellent" as I moved into an apartment with 3 of my closest friends, where not wearing pants is acceptable and you must have all the songs of "Pitch Perfect" memorized. Obviously, I befriended the right group of girls. Beyond them, my friend group continued to grow and our activities became more hilarious (see "the great apartment rearrangement" story for example). I would say "blessed" is an understatement.

So now we're at 2013 and it's promising to look like an excellent year. I'm pumped to see where the Lord will take me (He's shown me a few snippets already) and how I'm going to grow this year.

There's my sappy wrap-up post. I'll keep ya posted.