Or maybe it should be of Johnny Heisman. Either way, never have I been more proud and overwhelmed by football. Yes, this tops the Aggie vs. Bama game. Barely. But it does. Maybe because that was the major catalyst for him to become the front runner for the Heisman. But both feats--the Heisman and Bama victories--were team efforts. The 12th man stands strong and proud as ever, but maybe that 3rd quarter slump that everyone feels is a little less potent. Maybe our knees and backs are just a little bit strengthened to stand for just a little while longer.
Johnny said that this [the Heisman Trophy] was for the 12th man. I genuinely believe that the 12th Man Spirit was part of his success. But I think we were so pumped because he was always so pumped and we knew how capable his hands were. His victories were our victories. Our campus is always bustling and alive, but Johnny and the fightin' Texas Aggie football team gave us a little extra fire. We anxiously waited to see how he would stun us every weekend, what amazing play he would pull, how he could find Swope or McNeal or Nwachukwu or Evans while he was on the move. How he could turn 3rd-and-23 into a touchdown by some quick moves and his sheer speed. I'm thrilled to be part of his 12th Man. I wouldn't have this season go any other way.
You have to give props to his offensive line. Luke Joekel said it well in his Outlander Defensive Player speech when he said "It's hard to protect someone when you don't know where he is." Johnny's O-Line protected him when he would refuse to stay in the pocket. They blocked. They defended. They stopped. They are a huge reason why the Aggies had such a successful season and why Johnny stayed off of his back and on his feet (most of the time).
I also have to give a thank you shout out to our Brazos River neighbor up in Wacky Waco for taking down Collin Klein. Baylor's defense showed up at the most opportune moment this season and I will always be grateful for that unlikely game where they were able to stop the ball. So, sic 'em?
Manti Te'o and Collin Klein are unbelievable football players and both of whom should have long, successful pro careers. I can't (and won't) take away how incredible they both are at what they do and both of them were well deserving of their nomination. I'm excited to watch both of them perform in their bowl games.
But, Te'o, you'll have to excuse me for pulling against you. Nothing personal--just want to keep those SEC National Champions rolling in. Plus, it'll make A&M look even better because we'll have beaten the champions. So, roll tide?
To everyone who scoffed, snickered, or joked before this season began about A&M in the SEC: You may have been validated then, but please don't try and take away our victories now. We've all seen the error of our ways by rolling our eyes at the idea of a competitive A&M in the nation's toughest conference. Yet it's become clear that the Ags are definitely formidable to anyone. By counting us out, you made our wins even sweeter and, every game, we won a little bit more appreciation and recognition. Let's just all make a pact and not make the same mistake for next season, shall we? Sweet.
It's still amazing to me that a freshman pulled out the win for the Heisman. He's a fellow member of the class of 2015. He threw up some unreal numbers--topping Cam Newton's total offensive yards in one fewer game. He's humble. He's classy. He's appreciative. He's Johnny Football.
I've said it once and I'll say it again:
New coach. New HEISMAN WINNING quarterback. New conference. New victories.
Same Old Army.
Gig 'em, Aggies.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Scheduling challenges...and other observations
I really love A&M. I wouldn't want to be at any other school, honestly. But their class registration system is a total nightmare.
So I had this really nice schedule for next semester planned out like a boss. No late classes, no classes before 10:00am. No big breaks. It was looking really good. That was two days ago. But now, a mere 5 hours before I register, almost every single class that I wanted is full or has about three spots left. It's pretty unfortunate. So I just went through everything and made a mediocre schedule that should get me through next semester.
But here's the real angst: I'll get done with class on Tuesdays and Thursdays by 11 (not that angsty). The nightmare part? It starts at eight in the morning. With a math class. If you knew me at all, you would know two things. 1. I am a night owl to the extreme and don't get along with my alarm clock when it wakes me up at 9am. 2. I hate, hate, HATE math. I'm an English major. You can't get anymore anti-math than that. So an unbelievably early class that deals with business calculus and stats? Uh, no thank you. But this awful first-come-first-serve pecking order of a registration system has left me with no choice. The joys of being a sophomore.
Ugh. The thought of it now--almost two months in advance to when I'll actually taking it--is repulsive. I know, I know. I'm incredibly blessed to go to school here and I'm not griping about the school work. That I can handle. But mornings...they just aren't fun. To all you chipper morning people out there, I'm jealous of you. I wish I could pop up at the crack of dawn, fix my coffee, and bounce out the door with a good attitude for my 8 o'clock class. I truly wish that math wasn't such a foreign subject to my English-oriented mind. But I can't and it isn't. I'm not like that.
In other news...Johnny Football. Breaking Cam Newton's record of total offensive yards in one fewer game? And people are still thinking he won't get the Heisman? From everything I've heard, dude's on top to take it. But anything can happen. We still have a week and a half until it is revealed, but the voting ended last night at 5pm, so there isn't much we can do now except cross our fingers and hope they voted the way the numbers shape up.
But even if he doesn't win (it'll be a gross injustice and quite a statement to the college football world if he doesn't), Johnny Manziel and the fightin' Texas Aggie football team of the 2012 season have made a huge statement. They provided a hope to this campus and shown long time fans how patience pays off. I've always been proud of my team. Frustrated for sure, but never ashamed. But all the letdowns of seasons past have been building up to an explosion of pure awesome.
When people this season have said that it's a good time to be an Aggie, they're right certainly. But I don't base my school pride on my football team. I put stock in our traditions, our values, how we can all come together as a student body in crazy ways that not many schools do. We convene once a month to remember Aggie students who have passed away. Aggies from around the country (and world) gather annually to remember every Aggie--current student or former student--who passed away that year. We have our own version of Silver Taps. We have organized yells, a gathering of 30,000 students who come to every football game, and a tree that determines your romantic future. I can't ever get to or from a class without seeing someone I know--which is so awesome.
But does it help that my football team is in the top 10 in the nation with potentially the first freshman Heisman winner? Yeah, maybe a little.
To answer the comment though: it's always a good time to be an Aggie.
Thanks, and gig 'em.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
21 for 21
Hey. I turned 21 yesterday, which is pretty weird. So I decided to list out 21 random things about me, that I have observed, or learned. Or whatever. This is a pretty random post. Bear with me, people.
1. Alcohol is pretty gross, y'all. My first impression: it tastes like how nail polish would taste. I don't think y'all will need to be worried about me going out and getting totally plastered. So there's that.
2. It is a requirement for southern people to refer to their parents as "Mother and Daddy".
3. A&M football is pretty much the best ever.
4. Life is hard. God is good.
5. You survive off of strange things in college (popcorn, strawberries, and grilled cheese)
6. Sometimes, when you sing and stomp loudly, the cops get called on you. Happy birthday to me. But if it's your birthday, they won't give you a ticket.
7. There's nothing quite like a Pine Cove birthday rap.
8. Every time Taylor Swift releases a new album, I am reminded of how good it feels to roll down the windows and have a jam session to angsty pseudo-country music.
9. Twitter is the new Facebook.
10. It is not abnormal to come home from class and immediately take your pants off.
11. Seeing the same movie 3 times in 10 days is acceptable. Pitch Perfect, you're welcome.
12. The best kind of friend is the one who can read your mind and answer whatever you were thinking about.
13. Sonic happy hour is the antidote to anything. Feel bad about a test? Go to sonic. Stressed? Go to sonic. Hungry? Go to sonic to get a drink to go with your food.
14. It's okay if you have to drop a class. The world won't end. Grades are not eternal.
15. I am loved despite me.
16. The Rangers are currently still one of the best teams in baseball regardless of their unfortunate season ending. And I still love them.
17. Princess Diaries never gets old.
18. 2 Corinthians 12:9. "And He said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' So I will boast all the more in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may shine through me."
19. Sometimes I just ponder how much easier life would be if I could teleport. Like when I miss the bus or don't want to hike up 4 flights of stairs. That's weird, right?
20. I still wish I could sing, but I've found that singing loud and proud is more fun than trying to match pitch.
21. After 21 years of running into things, knocking things over, and tripping and falling, I've come to realize that I might have tight Achille's tendons or whatever, but I was made in the image of a perfect God. And if He wants me to be quirky and clumsy, then I'll take it.
Life lessons. They're abundant.
1. Alcohol is pretty gross, y'all. My first impression: it tastes like how nail polish would taste. I don't think y'all will need to be worried about me going out and getting totally plastered. So there's that.
2. It is a requirement for southern people to refer to their parents as "Mother and Daddy".
3. A&M football is pretty much the best ever.
4. Life is hard. God is good.
5. You survive off of strange things in college (popcorn, strawberries, and grilled cheese)
6. Sometimes, when you sing and stomp loudly, the cops get called on you. Happy birthday to me. But if it's your birthday, they won't give you a ticket.
7. There's nothing quite like a Pine Cove birthday rap.
8. Every time Taylor Swift releases a new album, I am reminded of how good it feels to roll down the windows and have a jam session to angsty pseudo-country music.
9. Twitter is the new Facebook.
10. It is not abnormal to come home from class and immediately take your pants off.
11. Seeing the same movie 3 times in 10 days is acceptable. Pitch Perfect, you're welcome.
12. The best kind of friend is the one who can read your mind and answer whatever you were thinking about.
13. Sonic happy hour is the antidote to anything. Feel bad about a test? Go to sonic. Stressed? Go to sonic. Hungry? Go to sonic to get a drink to go with your food.
14. It's okay if you have to drop a class. The world won't end. Grades are not eternal.
15. I am loved despite me.
16. The Rangers are currently still one of the best teams in baseball regardless of their unfortunate season ending. And I still love them.
17. Princess Diaries never gets old.
18. 2 Corinthians 12:9. "And He said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' So I will boast all the more in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may shine through me."
19. Sometimes I just ponder how much easier life would be if I could teleport. Like when I miss the bus or don't want to hike up 4 flights of stairs. That's weird, right?
20. I still wish I could sing, but I've found that singing loud and proud is more fun than trying to match pitch.
21. After 21 years of running into things, knocking things over, and tripping and falling, I've come to realize that I might have tight Achille's tendons or whatever, but I was made in the image of a perfect God. And if He wants me to be quirky and clumsy, then I'll take it.
Life lessons. They're abundant.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Gig 'em Aggies.
Hello, college football world. I think A&M has sufficiently proved to everyone--announcers, fans, teams, and, if I'm being honest, myself--that they are now a football force to be reckoned with and that their conference move was not a negative decision.
This is not a post about how the SEC is a million times better than A&M's former conference, the Big 12. Why? Because the Big 12 had almost all of it's teams ranked at some point this year. How many other conferences can claim that? No, not even the SEC. My rivalry with those teams hasn't died, but a rivalry is different than, say, a grudge. Rivalries have a level of respect and I immensely respect every team in that conference. Do I like all of them? No, of course not. Will I talk smack about them? Sure. But I will never try to take away the fact that they are good teams and the Big 12 is not, by anyone's standards, a tragedy of a conference. I'd venture to say that it's in the top 5 in the nation.
That being said, I'm thrilled to be in the SEC. I miss the longstanding rivalries that I've grown accustomed to (Texas, Baylor, Tech, etc), but the time for change had come. I was unwilling to accept this at first and was afraid that my team was going to get smashed into Aggie pancakes. But we've held our own against traditionally top 10 powerhouses like LSU, Florida, and Alabama. It's been incredible to watch how one of my favorite teams has flourished and grown and pushed through obstacles. I have the Big 12 to thank for molding us into the team that we are (honest, zero sarcasm in that). And I have the SEC to thank for pushing us so we can prove that we are the Aggies (the Aggies are we!)
But now I'm just going to brag a little bit. I think we've earned it.
Kevin Sumlin is no spring chicken when it comes to A&M and upsets. 10 years ago to the weekend, Sumlin--then the offensive coordinator for the Ags--coached a redshirted freshman into upsetting the No. #1 OU. History has a habit of repeating itself. As the Aggies marched into Tuscaloosa today, the whole world felt like they were marching to a death beat. You don't go into that stadium and win, especially when that thing holds over 100,000 people and they are all supporting the top team in the nation--which isn't you. It just doesn't happen.
But it did.
When it comes to college football, as I have learned, it comes down to who wants it more, not who the better team is. And it was more important for the Aggies to prove who we are and where we belong than for the Crimson Tide to protect their title. I still have so much respect for every team in the Southeastern Conference and think that if A&M and Alabama played 10 times, Bama would probably come out on top more than A&M would. This, however, was the time that counted.
But was it pretty fun to watch all the stunned faces while the War Hymn echoed through Tuscaloosa? Oh yeah. And did I saw varsity's horns off in the street tonight with some of my friends after the clock ran down to zero? You bet.
New coach. New quarterback. New conference. New victories.
Same Old Army.
FARMERS FIGHT. FARMERS FIGHT. FARMERS. FARMERS. FARMERS FARMERS FIGHT A! A-A-A-A-AAAAAAAAAAA.
This is not a post about how the SEC is a million times better than A&M's former conference, the Big 12. Why? Because the Big 12 had almost all of it's teams ranked at some point this year. How many other conferences can claim that? No, not even the SEC. My rivalry with those teams hasn't died, but a rivalry is different than, say, a grudge. Rivalries have a level of respect and I immensely respect every team in that conference. Do I like all of them? No, of course not. Will I talk smack about them? Sure. But I will never try to take away the fact that they are good teams and the Big 12 is not, by anyone's standards, a tragedy of a conference. I'd venture to say that it's in the top 5 in the nation.
That being said, I'm thrilled to be in the SEC. I miss the longstanding rivalries that I've grown accustomed to (Texas, Baylor, Tech, etc), but the time for change had come. I was unwilling to accept this at first and was afraid that my team was going to get smashed into Aggie pancakes. But we've held our own against traditionally top 10 powerhouses like LSU, Florida, and Alabama. It's been incredible to watch how one of my favorite teams has flourished and grown and pushed through obstacles. I have the Big 12 to thank for molding us into the team that we are (honest, zero sarcasm in that). And I have the SEC to thank for pushing us so we can prove that we are the Aggies (the Aggies are we!)
But now I'm just going to brag a little bit. I think we've earned it.
Kevin Sumlin is no spring chicken when it comes to A&M and upsets. 10 years ago to the weekend, Sumlin--then the offensive coordinator for the Ags--coached a redshirted freshman into upsetting the No. #1 OU. History has a habit of repeating itself. As the Aggies marched into Tuscaloosa today, the whole world felt like they were marching to a death beat. You don't go into that stadium and win, especially when that thing holds over 100,000 people and they are all supporting the top team in the nation--which isn't you. It just doesn't happen.
But it did.
When it comes to college football, as I have learned, it comes down to who wants it more, not who the better team is. And it was more important for the Aggies to prove who we are and where we belong than for the Crimson Tide to protect their title. I still have so much respect for every team in the Southeastern Conference and think that if A&M and Alabama played 10 times, Bama would probably come out on top more than A&M would. This, however, was the time that counted.
But was it pretty fun to watch all the stunned faces while the War Hymn echoed through Tuscaloosa? Oh yeah. And did I saw varsity's horns off in the street tonight with some of my friends after the clock ran down to zero? You bet.
New coach. New quarterback. New conference. New victories.
Same Old Army.
FARMERS FIGHT. FARMERS FIGHT. FARMERS. FARMERS. FARMERS FARMERS FIGHT A! A-A-A-A-AAAAAAAAAAA.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Random Post of Life Update
Howdy y'all. Needed to get my Aggie-ness out there for a second. It'll be a good segway into...
Going to get squashed in the SEC my left pinky toe! Take that all you Big 12 haters. Because the latest BCS standings show that OU is the only Big 12 team in front of the good Ags of A&M. And our dear friends in Missouri were projected to be competitive with SEC teams and they've lost almost every conference game. The only games A&M has lost have been against LSU and Florida, the numbers 1 and 6 ranked teams and Florida beat LSU. So I would say A&M is looking pretty dang good. This weekend at Mississippi State will be a good test of how the fighting farmers will do, but I'm optimistic about our chances.
Did I ever say we'd be the best team in the SEC? Absolutely not. We have formidable opponents and we still struggle in areas that we should be solid in. But look at our starters. The only two "major names" that are seniors are Ryan Swope (he's white! he's bright! he's got a lot of fight!) and Christine Michael. Both of them are total studs and we'll miss them next year. But look at Ben Molena, Mike Evans, and Johnny "Football" Manziel! All underclassmen. And, on defense, we have massive players like Damontre Moore who still have solid time left on the team. From this point, A&M's football program can only go one direction: up. And if my redshirted freshman QB who is breaking records his first year of SEC play and on a Heisman watch list, heck, the Ags might even be headed for one of the top 5 BCS bowls (maybe even the championship) in the next few years. Who knows? But I've got a lot of hope for this team. We're a top 20 team now. And we don't even have our own network. Gig 'em, Aggies.
Now, here's a nice list of my latest tunes that I put on while in my car:
1. "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons
2. "Riff Off" from Pitch Perfect
3. "22" by Taylor Swift
4. "I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift
5. "Lord, Save me From Myself" by Jon Foreman
6. "Slumber" by NEEDTOBREATHE
7. "She Is" by Ben Rector
8. "All My Fountains" by Chris Tomlin
9. "Therapy" by Relient K
10. "One Thing" by One Direction
And guess who doesn't have another test until November 20th? This girl.
There's a brief overview of my life. You're welcome, Mom and Dad.
Going to get squashed in the SEC my left pinky toe! Take that all you Big 12 haters. Because the latest BCS standings show that OU is the only Big 12 team in front of the good Ags of A&M. And our dear friends in Missouri were projected to be competitive with SEC teams and they've lost almost every conference game. The only games A&M has lost have been against LSU and Florida, the numbers 1 and 6 ranked teams and Florida beat LSU. So I would say A&M is looking pretty dang good. This weekend at Mississippi State will be a good test of how the fighting farmers will do, but I'm optimistic about our chances.
Did I ever say we'd be the best team in the SEC? Absolutely not. We have formidable opponents and we still struggle in areas that we should be solid in. But look at our starters. The only two "major names" that are seniors are Ryan Swope (he's white! he's bright! he's got a lot of fight!) and Christine Michael. Both of them are total studs and we'll miss them next year. But look at Ben Molena, Mike Evans, and Johnny "Football" Manziel! All underclassmen. And, on defense, we have massive players like Damontre Moore who still have solid time left on the team. From this point, A&M's football program can only go one direction: up. And if my redshirted freshman QB who is breaking records his first year of SEC play and on a Heisman watch list, heck, the Ags might even be headed for one of the top 5 BCS bowls (maybe even the championship) in the next few years. Who knows? But I've got a lot of hope for this team. We're a top 20 team now. And we don't even have our own network. Gig 'em, Aggies.
Now, here's a nice list of my latest tunes that I put on while in my car:
1. "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons
2. "Riff Off" from Pitch Perfect
3. "22" by Taylor Swift
4. "I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift
5. "Lord, Save me From Myself" by Jon Foreman
6. "Slumber" by NEEDTOBREATHE
7. "She Is" by Ben Rector
8. "All My Fountains" by Chris Tomlin
9. "Therapy" by Relient K
10. "One Thing" by One Direction
And guess who doesn't have another test until November 20th? This girl.
There's a brief overview of my life. You're welcome, Mom and Dad.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Being held.
So. I ride the bus to and from school. Like middle school, except I don't look as awkward and actually have friends now.
Anyways. While on the bus, I play Russian Roulette with my iPod and see what interesting music I've put on there over the years. Through iPod to iPod, all my songs have stayed relatively the same and only recently did I do a mass purge of the 100 ancient MercyMe songs that kept coming up.
The other day, I was plugged in and the songs "Alive Again" by Matt Maher and "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North came up back to back. And I just had this really vivid mental picture of me being literally held by a very large pair of hands (specifically God's hands).
Okay so you picture it now.
God carrying you through life and you are just having a nice conversation with him and you're just hanging out in the hands. You feel really safe and have zero worries. He gives you everything you need and y'all are just having a good old time, loving each other and being great friends.
Then you stand up in the hands and check out what's around you. God shows you where to look and you're like, "Oh yeah, that's awesome!" and then you get distracted. There's this guy/girl (your preference) who is really attractive and gives you this smile. You realize that you're single and that you really want to be with that person. Obviously, God knows you've completely zoned out but you keep hearing him say something. You ignore him. I mean, he made that person too. Why wouldn't he want you to be with them? So you hop out of the hands and go hang out with this person. God is following you, still talking, but you aren't focused on him right now. Time goes by. This person breaks your heart. You're alone again. You spin around and God is still right behind you. He offers you his hands. You climb back in. You cry, apologize, ask for forgiveness, which he does. You start to feel better and more comfortable. You settle back in, hanging with him and loving it. He tells you that the time was not ready, that there is a season for everything. (Ecclesiastes 3).
You feel less vulnerable now and decide to check out the scenery again. There's this group of people who look really cool. There's no other way to describe it. They just exude that something that you want. But they probably don't stand for what you do...maybe you can tell them about God? You decide on that course of action and jump out but make sure God is behind you. The second you get in with that group, you forget about him though. You start doing things you never thought you'd do. They tease you and make you feel worthless but you think you'd even be more worthless without them, so you stay. You feel trapped, so you do everything you can to numb it. You wake up one morning and don't know where you are or what you've been doing to yourself. You feel someone pick you up and panic because you've learned to not trust anyone, including your friends. But these hands are gentle and you know who it is. You're deeply ashamed, but stay with him. Again, you beg for him to forgive you and are so relieved when he does. (Galatians 3:26).
When he's nursed you back and you feel secure in him again, you begin to look at yourself. You realize why that group didn't like you--you're ugly, you're stupid, you aren't funny, you're good to be the brunt of the jokes, people feel better about themselves when they're around you because you're just so pathetic. You get depressed and turn your anger to God. How could he make you this way? Wasn't he supposed to be perfect? Why'd he mess up with you? He looks at you in disbelief and takes the distorted mirror you've been looking in and throws it so far you can't see where it landed. Then he gives you a proper one. You realize that you have a good smile and bright eyes. You don't hate your body. You make a goofy comment and God laughs. He delights in you. He loves you. (Psalm 139).
Where you struggle, he strengthens (2 Corinthians 12). Where you fall, he forgives (Ephesians 1:7). And his love is vast, unending, and perfect (Ephesians 2:4-5).
Anyways. While on the bus, I play Russian Roulette with my iPod and see what interesting music I've put on there over the years. Through iPod to iPod, all my songs have stayed relatively the same and only recently did I do a mass purge of the 100 ancient MercyMe songs that kept coming up.
The other day, I was plugged in and the songs "Alive Again" by Matt Maher and "By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North came up back to back. And I just had this really vivid mental picture of me being literally held by a very large pair of hands (specifically God's hands).
Okay so you picture it now.
God carrying you through life and you are just having a nice conversation with him and you're just hanging out in the hands. You feel really safe and have zero worries. He gives you everything you need and y'all are just having a good old time, loving each other and being great friends.
Then you stand up in the hands and check out what's around you. God shows you where to look and you're like, "Oh yeah, that's awesome!" and then you get distracted. There's this guy/girl (your preference) who is really attractive and gives you this smile. You realize that you're single and that you really want to be with that person. Obviously, God knows you've completely zoned out but you keep hearing him say something. You ignore him. I mean, he made that person too. Why wouldn't he want you to be with them? So you hop out of the hands and go hang out with this person. God is following you, still talking, but you aren't focused on him right now. Time goes by. This person breaks your heart. You're alone again. You spin around and God is still right behind you. He offers you his hands. You climb back in. You cry, apologize, ask for forgiveness, which he does. You start to feel better and more comfortable. You settle back in, hanging with him and loving it. He tells you that the time was not ready, that there is a season for everything. (Ecclesiastes 3).
You feel less vulnerable now and decide to check out the scenery again. There's this group of people who look really cool. There's no other way to describe it. They just exude that something that you want. But they probably don't stand for what you do...maybe you can tell them about God? You decide on that course of action and jump out but make sure God is behind you. The second you get in with that group, you forget about him though. You start doing things you never thought you'd do. They tease you and make you feel worthless but you think you'd even be more worthless without them, so you stay. You feel trapped, so you do everything you can to numb it. You wake up one morning and don't know where you are or what you've been doing to yourself. You feel someone pick you up and panic because you've learned to not trust anyone, including your friends. But these hands are gentle and you know who it is. You're deeply ashamed, but stay with him. Again, you beg for him to forgive you and are so relieved when he does. (Galatians 3:26).
When he's nursed you back and you feel secure in him again, you begin to look at yourself. You realize why that group didn't like you--you're ugly, you're stupid, you aren't funny, you're good to be the brunt of the jokes, people feel better about themselves when they're around you because you're just so pathetic. You get depressed and turn your anger to God. How could he make you this way? Wasn't he supposed to be perfect? Why'd he mess up with you? He looks at you in disbelief and takes the distorted mirror you've been looking in and throws it so far you can't see where it landed. Then he gives you a proper one. You realize that you have a good smile and bright eyes. You don't hate your body. You make a goofy comment and God laughs. He delights in you. He loves you. (Psalm 139).
Where you struggle, he strengthens (2 Corinthians 12). Where you fall, he forgives (Ephesians 1:7). And his love is vast, unending, and perfect (Ephesians 2:4-5).
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Grown up. For real. Sort of.
So here's the deal: I'm way spoiled.
For 19 years, my parents (mostly Mom--Dad is a whole other, equally as important ball game) bought groceries, cooked, did laundry, stayed on top of homework/activities/lives for three children, and managed to have a social life. And now I'm taking care of one and I'm like "THIS IS SO HARD." Grocery shopping, actually making real food, knowing what needs to be refrigerated and when things spoil...food is overwhelming. And then you've got to fill up with gas and go buy your own medicine when you're sick and do annoying grown up stuff. I didn't think I was prepared for this.
But I am. My parents have done an exceptional job of preparing me for the real world. Because I won't call my Coppell house home for much longer. I'll never go back to someone consistently buying and making my food. In a few years, I'll be paying for my own gas and insurance and bills. College is four years of practice before I get pushed out into the world with a diploma and some handy lessons that I picked up.
Yesterday was an excellent example of my growing adultness.
So I have this real weird version of hypothyroidism (translation: my thyroid doesn't work). So when I'm put on new medicine for it, I have to get my blood drawn to make sure it's actually working. I've never done that by myself before. Until yesterday. I got up early, got dressed, and headed to find the College Station Medical Center. I checked myself in (successfully spelling my name wrong at first), filled out my insurance info, and waited until my name was called. They took my blood, I drove to class. I felt like a regular grown up! Weird!
Then, my roommate Myles and I needed to go to Goodwill after class in search of Hawaiian clothes. We got in my car and it struggled to start. I have one of those weird keyless cars that you just push a button for and it just was not working as well as it should. So I was a little concerned but not too much. Then, as we emerged from Goodwill with our purchases and climbed in the car, it just stopped. When I want to start my car, I push the brake all the way down while pushing the button. The brake wasn't going down. But I didn't panic! A shock to both Myles and myself. I called my mom and asked what to do and she just said to call the Nissan place in College Station. So I called them while Myles got ahold of a friend who knew more about cars than we did (thank you Ethan!). The Nissan guy (Johnny) gave me instructions to push the brake as hard as I could (meaning that Ethan pushed it as hard as he could) and--tada! The car started. And I promptly drove it straight to the Nissan place.
Moral of the day: I didn't panic. A year ago, I would've been freaking the heck out. But I wasn't. I've been equipped with the ability now to think clearly and rationally through situations before getting mad, panicking, or something just as unproductive. Growing up might not be so bad.
Shout out to my parents for being awesome, to Myles for sticking with me, to Ethan for temporarily fixing my car, and to Joy for picking us up at the Nissan dealership. My friends and family rock.
For 19 years, my parents (mostly Mom--Dad is a whole other, equally as important ball game) bought groceries, cooked, did laundry, stayed on top of homework/activities/lives for three children, and managed to have a social life. And now I'm taking care of one and I'm like "THIS IS SO HARD." Grocery shopping, actually making real food, knowing what needs to be refrigerated and when things spoil...food is overwhelming. And then you've got to fill up with gas and go buy your own medicine when you're sick and do annoying grown up stuff. I didn't think I was prepared for this.
But I am. My parents have done an exceptional job of preparing me for the real world. Because I won't call my Coppell house home for much longer. I'll never go back to someone consistently buying and making my food. In a few years, I'll be paying for my own gas and insurance and bills. College is four years of practice before I get pushed out into the world with a diploma and some handy lessons that I picked up.
Yesterday was an excellent example of my growing adultness.
So I have this real weird version of hypothyroidism (translation: my thyroid doesn't work). So when I'm put on new medicine for it, I have to get my blood drawn to make sure it's actually working. I've never done that by myself before. Until yesterday. I got up early, got dressed, and headed to find the College Station Medical Center. I checked myself in (successfully spelling my name wrong at first), filled out my insurance info, and waited until my name was called. They took my blood, I drove to class. I felt like a regular grown up! Weird!
Then, my roommate Myles and I needed to go to Goodwill after class in search of Hawaiian clothes. We got in my car and it struggled to start. I have one of those weird keyless cars that you just push a button for and it just was not working as well as it should. So I was a little concerned but not too much. Then, as we emerged from Goodwill with our purchases and climbed in the car, it just stopped. When I want to start my car, I push the brake all the way down while pushing the button. The brake wasn't going down. But I didn't panic! A shock to both Myles and myself. I called my mom and asked what to do and she just said to call the Nissan place in College Station. So I called them while Myles got ahold of a friend who knew more about cars than we did (thank you Ethan!). The Nissan guy (Johnny) gave me instructions to push the brake as hard as I could (meaning that Ethan pushed it as hard as he could) and--tada! The car started. And I promptly drove it straight to the Nissan place.
Moral of the day: I didn't panic. A year ago, I would've been freaking the heck out. But I wasn't. I've been equipped with the ability now to think clearly and rationally through situations before getting mad, panicking, or something just as unproductive. Growing up might not be so bad.
Shout out to my parents for being awesome, to Myles for sticking with me, to Ethan for temporarily fixing my car, and to Joy for picking us up at the Nissan dealership. My friends and family rock.
Friday, September 7, 2012
"Don't ever change" and why it's bad advice
Remember when you were in middle school and high school and everyone would write "You're soooo (insert positive adjective here)! Don't ever change!"? And you had your little ego boost because you were reading all about what people like about you and you vowed to never change because, look! You had so many people who loved you exactly how you were!
Well, yeah. That's true. But imagine if you stayed a fourteen-year-old forever. Perpetually stuck in 8th or 9th grade emotionally, mentally, and physically. What if you never grew up? What if you never learned new things? What if you never tried and succeeded? Or tried and failed and learned from the failure? Can you even imagine being stuck in puberty for the rest of your life? Sounds like a nightmare.
But seriously. Changing from the awkward-middle-schooler to the figuring-life-out college student (hello my life) to the real-adult (not quite there yet) is what makes life so interesting.
Here's the deal: we need change. It's unavoidable. It's good. It's, hopefully, growth. Do not fear the change.
But I wish I could say that I followed my own advice. I hate change. I don't adapt well. I'm comfortably stuck in my ways and it would take a force of nature to avert me away from them. And I typically don't react well when such an event blows through and scrambles my life up. Events like moving. Or college. Or when God decides that he's had enough of my shenanigans and shakes things up to wake me up. You know, all of those things. But the most effective change I've ever seen has been at the hand of Christ.
When we fully let Christ take control of our lives, He makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). Making something new would require a change. My least favorite thing. But I have seen myself changed and refined more in the past year than I have in my whole life. In my bubble that I grew up in, there wasn't a lot of wiggle room.
College. A&M. Good, Godly friends. Wiggle room. Room to grow. To change. To learn. To fall and to get back up. And to run. Flat out after Christ. And it was scary as heck. But I'm embracing it now. And I'm not afraid. Will it hurt? Probably. But you know what? I'm going for it. Because I can either cower in fear of the divine change or I can fall into His sweet and protecting arms to pull me through. Growing up is hard, but I don't have to do it alone.
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
(post inspired by Myles Osborne)
Well, yeah. That's true. But imagine if you stayed a fourteen-year-old forever. Perpetually stuck in 8th or 9th grade emotionally, mentally, and physically. What if you never grew up? What if you never learned new things? What if you never tried and succeeded? Or tried and failed and learned from the failure? Can you even imagine being stuck in puberty for the rest of your life? Sounds like a nightmare.
But seriously. Changing from the awkward-middle-schooler to the figuring-life-out college student (hello my life) to the real-adult (not quite there yet) is what makes life so interesting.
Here's the deal: we need change. It's unavoidable. It's good. It's, hopefully, growth. Do not fear the change.
But I wish I could say that I followed my own advice. I hate change. I don't adapt well. I'm comfortably stuck in my ways and it would take a force of nature to avert me away from them. And I typically don't react well when such an event blows through and scrambles my life up. Events like moving. Or college. Or when God decides that he's had enough of my shenanigans and shakes things up to wake me up. You know, all of those things. But the most effective change I've ever seen has been at the hand of Christ.
When we fully let Christ take control of our lives, He makes all things new (Revelation 21:5). Making something new would require a change. My least favorite thing. But I have seen myself changed and refined more in the past year than I have in my whole life. In my bubble that I grew up in, there wasn't a lot of wiggle room.
College. A&M. Good, Godly friends. Wiggle room. Room to grow. To change. To learn. To fall and to get back up. And to run. Flat out after Christ. And it was scary as heck. But I'm embracing it now. And I'm not afraid. Will it hurt? Probably. But you know what? I'm going for it. Because I can either cower in fear of the divine change or I can fall into His sweet and protecting arms to pull me through. Growing up is hard, but I don't have to do it alone.
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
(post inspired by Myles Osborne)
Monday, August 27, 2012
Things you learn in your first apartment...
So, I'm living with 3 of my best friends in an apartment this year. I've been counting the days until this living situation since December and we finally all moved in as of about 10 days ago. And in that time period, we've made some rather interesting discoveries, utilized some problem solving skills, and done a fair amount of laughing. Here's why.
1. For the 3 rooms our apartment has, it has 3 different temperatures. We're still not sure why.
2. People get feisty in parking garages. And have no happy medium when it comes to speed in the parking garage. And manage to lose all ability to park.
3. If one leg of the sofa is broken, removing all the legs is an acceptable course of action.
4. Garbage disposals have reset buttons.
5. Marbles should not go in a garbage disposal.
6. If your washer and dryer are in a closet, the closet gets extremely hot and blasts a wave of Sahara-like wind at you when you open the closet.
7. When the sun streams through the window, the color of your curtains will cast that color's hue across your room. Pink curtains=pink room.
8. When funny things happen, it is best to have a jar in which to write down the funny things and keep them until the end of the year, when you will read them.
That's all I got for you so far. It's been entertaining, to say the least. Lots of lessons and more to come. I'll keep you posted.
1. For the 3 rooms our apartment has, it has 3 different temperatures. We're still not sure why.
2. People get feisty in parking garages. And have no happy medium when it comes to speed in the parking garage. And manage to lose all ability to park.
3. If one leg of the sofa is broken, removing all the legs is an acceptable course of action.
4. Garbage disposals have reset buttons.
5. Marbles should not go in a garbage disposal.
6. If your washer and dryer are in a closet, the closet gets extremely hot and blasts a wave of Sahara-like wind at you when you open the closet.
7. When the sun streams through the window, the color of your curtains will cast that color's hue across your room. Pink curtains=pink room.
8. When funny things happen, it is best to have a jar in which to write down the funny things and keep them until the end of the year, when you will read them.
That's all I got for you so far. It's been entertaining, to say the least. Lots of lessons and more to come. I'll keep you posted.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Sitcom Life
So, I've had this running joke with a friend that my life is kind of a sitcom. You know, those moments that just kind of happen and you watch them on TV thinking, "Yeah, that's funny, but wouldn't actually happen."
I'm here to tell you that, yes, in fact, those aforementioned improbable moments do take place. And I am a victim of them.
Today's adventure to the eye doctor is a testament to that.
My vision closely resembles an armadillo's (as in very bad) without corrective lenses. I was wearing bifocals as a 21-month-old. Basically a real-life version of Benjamin Button. So I'm no stranger to eye appointments. The summer before my freshman year of high school, I decided to forgo the thick glasses I'd been sporting my whole life and try contacts. After some time, I got the hang of it and got into the groove of using them. But occasionally, I'd manage to get my contact stuck in my eye. Like, try to get it out and end up moving it off of the iris and into the depths of my eyeball. It's uncomfortable and a tedious process to get it out. It hasn't happened to me in a long time--months, maybe a year. But of course, today, while at the doctor, it happened to me.
The nurse lady tried in vain to get it out, but to no avail. So we just went ahead with all the tests, with the contact still floating around somewhere in my eye. During this time, I had to go get pictures of my retina taken. It took several attempts because I kept blinking and she was getting frustrated. I was just getting embarrassed.
So then we moved to the actual exam room (I hate that phrase...it sounds so awful) where Dr. Curtis took a shot at it. Dr. Curtis and my dad were fraternity brothers at TCU, so that basically gives him permission to make fun of me. Good times with that.
Then when he was doing the real examination part, I managed to get the rolly chair stuck and knocked his machine off balance. And got my right and left confused.
It was just generally unfortunate.
Then I went to Office Depot to get more notebooks for school while wearing my Delta Asher Impact shirt (Impact post to come later). Our theme this year had been Super SmASHER Bros because we were Camp Asher (Asher being one of the 12 tribes of Israel, which was what all the camps were named after). The nerdy cashier then proceeded to ask me all about my skills at Smash Bros and, when he found out that I normally got last place, gave me all sorts of tips on how to win next time. Moral of the story: get Fox and press "B down" twice to stun your opponent, but that only works if you're close to who you want to stun. Real moral of the story: avoid Alan at Office Depot from now on.
Sometimes I wish I had a "normal" life. But then, what is "normal", anyway?
I'm here to tell you that, yes, in fact, those aforementioned improbable moments do take place. And I am a victim of them.
Today's adventure to the eye doctor is a testament to that.
My vision closely resembles an armadillo's (as in very bad) without corrective lenses. I was wearing bifocals as a 21-month-old. Basically a real-life version of Benjamin Button. So I'm no stranger to eye appointments. The summer before my freshman year of high school, I decided to forgo the thick glasses I'd been sporting my whole life and try contacts. After some time, I got the hang of it and got into the groove of using them. But occasionally, I'd manage to get my contact stuck in my eye. Like, try to get it out and end up moving it off of the iris and into the depths of my eyeball. It's uncomfortable and a tedious process to get it out. It hasn't happened to me in a long time--months, maybe a year. But of course, today, while at the doctor, it happened to me.
The nurse lady tried in vain to get it out, but to no avail. So we just went ahead with all the tests, with the contact still floating around somewhere in my eye. During this time, I had to go get pictures of my retina taken. It took several attempts because I kept blinking and she was getting frustrated. I was just getting embarrassed.
So then we moved to the actual exam room (I hate that phrase...it sounds so awful) where Dr. Curtis took a shot at it. Dr. Curtis and my dad were fraternity brothers at TCU, so that basically gives him permission to make fun of me. Good times with that.
Then when he was doing the real examination part, I managed to get the rolly chair stuck and knocked his machine off balance. And got my right and left confused.
It was just generally unfortunate.
Then I went to Office Depot to get more notebooks for school while wearing my Delta Asher Impact shirt (Impact post to come later). Our theme this year had been Super SmASHER Bros because we were Camp Asher (Asher being one of the 12 tribes of Israel, which was what all the camps were named after). The nerdy cashier then proceeded to ask me all about my skills at Smash Bros and, when he found out that I normally got last place, gave me all sorts of tips on how to win next time. Moral of the story: get Fox and press "B down" twice to stun your opponent, but that only works if you're close to who you want to stun. Real moral of the story: avoid Alan at Office Depot from now on.
Sometimes I wish I had a "normal" life. But then, what is "normal", anyway?
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Summer blogging fail
Guess which aspiring author dropped the ball on her blogging this summer?
This one did. Oops.
So here's a brief overview of what all went down for me this summer.
1. I worked for Legoland Discovery Center in Grapevine, Texas. And it was quite an experience. I've learned that parents can find something to complain about everywhere if you want to, that there is a reason for a legal driving age (and, as simple as "press the pedal and steer" is, a four-year-old cannot comprehend it), and the technical term for the little Lego pieces is a "Lego brick". And if I have to see those in mass quantities ever again, I might shriek like a banshee. But the people who I worked with kept things interesting and it was a cool mission field.
2. I am absolutely awful at math. Just terrible. An embarrassment. But I'm done with three hours of math (hallelujah!) and completely finished with my political science credits. So, while June was a grunt summer of late studying and lots of working, it was definitely good. It was stressful, but it's over. Again, hallelujah! July was much better!
3. God is good. He's enough when I'm not.
4. This is shallow, but after being flirted with by all of my male coworkers, I have more self confidence in not only my appearance, but personality. God has a funny way of teaching lessons. And His sense of humor is something to be reckoned with.
5. I'm seriously addicted to the Olympics. U-S-A! U-S-A!
6. Planning an apartment is actually fun! Who knew I'd get into interior design? If you could even call it that. But I am excited about my new nightstand, so now I know that I'm definitely turning into my mom. Yikes.
7. My Rangers obsession has grown. Yes, it is possible. I love my Arlington boys. Possibly too much.
8. I'm rereading the Harry Potter series and want just a sprinkle of JK Rowling's writing talent. That woman is amazing.
I leave to go back to College Station for a week tomorrow. Impact is on WEDNESDAY! I can't believe it's already here--I still distinctly remember picking up my letter that said I was actually going to be a counselor. The kids I've been praying about for months are going to be loading buses in only a few days!!
All-in-all, a crazy/busy summer with lots of learning and it went a lot faster than I thought it would, which is a good thing. Do I wish I'd had more downtime before launching myself into another school year? Sure.
But I'm ready for sophomore year.
"I do not consider that I have made it [life] my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14.
This one did. Oops.
So here's a brief overview of what all went down for me this summer.
1. I worked for Legoland Discovery Center in Grapevine, Texas. And it was quite an experience. I've learned that parents can find something to complain about everywhere if you want to, that there is a reason for a legal driving age (and, as simple as "press the pedal and steer" is, a four-year-old cannot comprehend it), and the technical term for the little Lego pieces is a "Lego brick". And if I have to see those in mass quantities ever again, I might shriek like a banshee. But the people who I worked with kept things interesting and it was a cool mission field.
2. I am absolutely awful at math. Just terrible. An embarrassment. But I'm done with three hours of math (hallelujah!) and completely finished with my political science credits. So, while June was a grunt summer of late studying and lots of working, it was definitely good. It was stressful, but it's over. Again, hallelujah! July was much better!
3. God is good. He's enough when I'm not.
4. This is shallow, but after being flirted with by all of my male coworkers, I have more self confidence in not only my appearance, but personality. God has a funny way of teaching lessons. And His sense of humor is something to be reckoned with.
5. I'm seriously addicted to the Olympics. U-S-A! U-S-A!
6. Planning an apartment is actually fun! Who knew I'd get into interior design? If you could even call it that. But I am excited about my new nightstand, so now I know that I'm definitely turning into my mom. Yikes.
7. My Rangers obsession has grown. Yes, it is possible. I love my Arlington boys. Possibly too much.
8. I'm rereading the Harry Potter series and want just a sprinkle of JK Rowling's writing talent. That woman is amazing.
I leave to go back to College Station for a week tomorrow. Impact is on WEDNESDAY! I can't believe it's already here--I still distinctly remember picking up my letter that said I was actually going to be a counselor. The kids I've been praying about for months are going to be loading buses in only a few days!!
All-in-all, a crazy/busy summer with lots of learning and it went a lot faster than I thought it would, which is a good thing. Do I wish I'd had more downtime before launching myself into another school year? Sure.
But I'm ready for sophomore year.
"I do not consider that I have made it [life] my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on towards the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
I'm employed...and other thoughts.
So, this summer, I didn't want to babysit. I needed a real job and learn how to do a professional interview and have taxes taken out of my paycheck and have a boss. Something to put on the resumé, if you will. I needed to go through training of some variety. And I wanted a flexible schedule. You don't really have that with babysitting, interestingly enough.
Where am I working, you ask? Legoland Discovery Center, to be all official. But most just call it Legoland. Within a week, I applied, interviewed, and got the job. It was a pretty quick turnaround, for which I was grateful. I've already made around $85 in the 2 days I've "worked". And it was just for training. So, sweet. This summer, I'll be doing annoying "grown-up" things, which consist of taking 6 hours of classes at the community college and working.
The majority of my summer will be spent with lots of screaming children and lots of Lego paraphernalia, which will be a stark difference to how my life generally works. I'm a low-key, relaxed, social but not outgoing kind of girl. I am not a constant flow of energy. So this job is going to test me in several ways (patience, tolerance, general perkiness, etc).
The one thing that I really wanted to do this summer was work at a camp (no secret there). Obviously, I didn't get that. And I've been just taking this job opportunity for granted and even downgrading it. But this summer is going to be bigger than just running a ride or cleaning 3D glasses. This summer is going to be learning how to not have my bubble of support and still function as 1. a normal human being and 2. a child pursuing her Maker. At A&M, I am always surrounded by people my age and at my stage in life running to the Lord with me. People I'm deeply close with and who know me so well that they can sometimes read my mind. Here, I don't really have that. My parents know me extremely well, of course. But they're a generation ahead of me. My circle of girls who have seen me breakdown and who have seen me laugh so hard that I can't breathe isn't here. In fact, all of them are at least 2 hours away from me right now.
"I Am A Seed" by David Crowder is playing on my computer right now. It talks about being pushed down into the ground, being trampled, not feeling like I can rise up again. Not feeling okay. I'm anxiously waiting for August to swing back around so I can grow. But I can start growing/learning now. I don't have to wait for the bubble to float back. Maybe I just need a summer of me and God and learn what it means to be relying on Him for everything and knowing to go to Him first. Because time and time again, I've thought of something I needed to tell my friends and pushed up to go across the hall, where two of my best friends lived. But then I come back to reality and see that I'm home, not in College Station. And that whatever I'm feeling doesn't need to be sent out in a message for someone to see, but put in a prayer journal or just spoken aloud to the One who hears everything.
And while I know what it means to get over the radio at Legoland and say "Delta one, code three is green", that won't be the valuable information I go back to A&M with. There is a much better prize to looking through a different sort of manual.
Where am I working, you ask? Legoland Discovery Center, to be all official. But most just call it Legoland. Within a week, I applied, interviewed, and got the job. It was a pretty quick turnaround, for which I was grateful. I've already made around $85 in the 2 days I've "worked". And it was just for training. So, sweet. This summer, I'll be doing annoying "grown-up" things, which consist of taking 6 hours of classes at the community college and working.
The majority of my summer will be spent with lots of screaming children and lots of Lego paraphernalia, which will be a stark difference to how my life generally works. I'm a low-key, relaxed, social but not outgoing kind of girl. I am not a constant flow of energy. So this job is going to test me in several ways (patience, tolerance, general perkiness, etc).
The one thing that I really wanted to do this summer was work at a camp (no secret there). Obviously, I didn't get that. And I've been just taking this job opportunity for granted and even downgrading it. But this summer is going to be bigger than just running a ride or cleaning 3D glasses. This summer is going to be learning how to not have my bubble of support and still function as 1. a normal human being and 2. a child pursuing her Maker. At A&M, I am always surrounded by people my age and at my stage in life running to the Lord with me. People I'm deeply close with and who know me so well that they can sometimes read my mind. Here, I don't really have that. My parents know me extremely well, of course. But they're a generation ahead of me. My circle of girls who have seen me breakdown and who have seen me laugh so hard that I can't breathe isn't here. In fact, all of them are at least 2 hours away from me right now.
"I Am A Seed" by David Crowder is playing on my computer right now. It talks about being pushed down into the ground, being trampled, not feeling like I can rise up again. Not feeling okay. I'm anxiously waiting for August to swing back around so I can grow. But I can start growing/learning now. I don't have to wait for the bubble to float back. Maybe I just need a summer of me and God and learn what it means to be relying on Him for everything and knowing to go to Him first. Because time and time again, I've thought of something I needed to tell my friends and pushed up to go across the hall, where two of my best friends lived. But then I come back to reality and see that I'm home, not in College Station. And that whatever I'm feeling doesn't need to be sent out in a message for someone to see, but put in a prayer journal or just spoken aloud to the One who hears everything.
And while I know what it means to get over the radio at Legoland and say "Delta one, code three is green", that won't be the valuable information I go back to A&M with. There is a much better prize to looking through a different sort of manual.
Friday, May 11, 2012
The wind down
I am sitting at my desk at home, remembering how College Station disappeared in my rearview mirror. After nine months of living somewhere, being with the same 20 or so people, and creating near unbreakable bonds and unforgettable memories, my freshman year of college comes to a close.
After years of dreaming about it, one year of planning it, and several hours packing for it, somehow, it happened. I don't know where my 2011-2012 school year has gone, but suddenly, it is. How on earth did I get from hitting the "I will attend Texas A&M University" button to planning my move-out? My brain is blown.
Looking back, I see how big this year has been for me. I'm a completely different person from move-in day to right now. This year has been a lot of growing, a lot of maturing, and really understanding that my life is not my own. God is bigger, better, stronger, smarter than anything I can conjure up or plan out. My life is putty in his hands. And he has made that perfectly clear to me this year. I'm overwhelmed with how I've been blessed in such a short time period. The lessons I've learned are almost countless, ranging from big--like what I'm supposed to do with my life and self discovery--and small--like knowing what I should be involved in next year.
But here's a few things I've been taught, just so you know I'm not spit-balling here.
1. I struggled a lot with inadequacy this year and feeling like I was not enough for anything. When people needed great, I was just good. When they needed good, I was average. That kind of thing. But I realized that I don't need to be enough. 2 Corinthians 2:19 has become one of my favorite verses. It says, "But he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' So I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power might be made perfect in me." So...BOOM!
2. Yes, I describe my English classes as my "fun" classes. And am completely serious. Come at me.
3. Peace. Instead of needing to be more, I honestly just need to chill out. Whatever is stressing me out, I need to let go. It sounds like an obvious statement, but college has given me a new definition of "stress" that I didn't know in high school. With that, Philippians 4:7 talks to me directly with "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
4. If you hate physics, DO NOT take astronomy.
5. God is good. This was told to me multiple times (hey Ethan) but I really, really started believing how absolutely true it was towards the middle of spring semester. "Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting." Psalm 107:1
6. The ocean is way more complex than the average person thinks. And has about a bajillion currents effected by random stuff. There's a little bit of science for ya.
7. Husband hunting shouldn't exist. Be patient. Make friends. Laugh. Focus on school and friendships. But, above all, run at full tilt towards the Lord. And only when you blaze by a guy who is running the same direction will you be ready to be chased. So you will be. "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." (translation: don't try to fall in love when you aren't ready) Song of Solomon 2:7. And guys? Keep running. You'll find her by noticing the one who is running so fast after the Lord that she makes a wake of wind as she flies by you.
And there you have it. My freshman year lessons in the nutshell.
After years of dreaming about it, one year of planning it, and several hours packing for it, somehow, it happened. I don't know where my 2011-2012 school year has gone, but suddenly, it is. How on earth did I get from hitting the "I will attend Texas A&M University" button to planning my move-out? My brain is blown.
Looking back, I see how big this year has been for me. I'm a completely different person from move-in day to right now. This year has been a lot of growing, a lot of maturing, and really understanding that my life is not my own. God is bigger, better, stronger, smarter than anything I can conjure up or plan out. My life is putty in his hands. And he has made that perfectly clear to me this year. I'm overwhelmed with how I've been blessed in such a short time period. The lessons I've learned are almost countless, ranging from big--like what I'm supposed to do with my life and self discovery--and small--like knowing what I should be involved in next year.
But here's a few things I've been taught, just so you know I'm not spit-balling here.
1. I struggled a lot with inadequacy this year and feeling like I was not enough for anything. When people needed great, I was just good. When they needed good, I was average. That kind of thing. But I realized that I don't need to be enough. 2 Corinthians 2:19 has become one of my favorite verses. It says, "But he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' So I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power might be made perfect in me." So...BOOM!
2. Yes, I describe my English classes as my "fun" classes. And am completely serious. Come at me.
3. Peace. Instead of needing to be more, I honestly just need to chill out. Whatever is stressing me out, I need to let go. It sounds like an obvious statement, but college has given me a new definition of "stress" that I didn't know in high school. With that, Philippians 4:7 talks to me directly with "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
4. If you hate physics, DO NOT take astronomy.
5. God is good. This was told to me multiple times (hey Ethan) but I really, really started believing how absolutely true it was towards the middle of spring semester. "Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting." Psalm 107:1
6. The ocean is way more complex than the average person thinks. And has about a bajillion currents effected by random stuff. There's a little bit of science for ya.
7. Husband hunting shouldn't exist. Be patient. Make friends. Laugh. Focus on school and friendships. But, above all, run at full tilt towards the Lord. And only when you blaze by a guy who is running the same direction will you be ready to be chased. So you will be. "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." (translation: don't try to fall in love when you aren't ready) Song of Solomon 2:7. And guys? Keep running. You'll find her by noticing the one who is running so fast after the Lord that she makes a wake of wind as she flies by you.
And there you have it. My freshman year lessons in the nutshell.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Delta Asher 2012
There are a number of things I should be doing right now (packing, cleaning, studying, sleeping, etc). But I'm not. Instead, I'm listening to my heathen mix made by 17 of the greatest people I know and writing how much I love these people.
Delta Asher. Two seemingly meaningless words to the average person. But I can't describe the flood of memories, emotions, and laughter that comes to mind when I see or hear those two words. But let's start at the beginning.
At Texas A&M, there's this incredible thing called Impact--a Christian fish camp that seeks to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ and plug the incoming A&M class into the body of Christ at A&M. Pretty sweet, right? I was a camper at Impact last year and am now a counselor--something that I never thought I'd say. All first semester of freshman year, I wanted to be a counselor, but after being rejected from summer camps over and over, my confidence in my counseling ability faded to nothing. After going to an informational for Impact, I really heard the voice of God tell me to apply. That was the first time in a long time that I'd been paying attention enough for him to scream through my barriers and tell me exactly what I was supposed to do.
And I did.
I'm crying right now (shocking) because I'm just so freaking happy that I listened. Mariah, Jevon, Ashley, Jackson, Dani, Preston, Emma, Eric, Paige, Nick, Ella, Benjamin, Helen, David (Dragon), Lindsey, Blake, and Brady became 17 of the most important people in my life. Every Monday night, we gathered together to worship, pray, laugh, cry (mostly me), and plan for August 8-11 where we will FINALLY meet the freshman the Lord wants us to get to know and love on and pursue. And I couldn't have asked for better co-chairs (Mariah and Jevon), better prayer leaders (Ashley and Jackson), a better partner (Brady), and a better team to work with. To say I've been blessed is a massive understatement.
Last night was our last meeting as a camp before we reconvene August 6th for pre-camp workdays. This semester has flown by and it's time for summer. Am I ready to leave them? Heck no. I never will be. I can't wait for August. But this summer will be for growth, preparation, and pure excitement. It will be good. I'll miss them all like a crazy person (if it's possible for me to get any crazier) but I know that this summer will make jumping into their arms in August that much sweeter.
Today is registration day for Impact. It's crazy to think that some of the girls in my small group (BG) are signing up today. WEIRD. But also extremely exciting. I am just so pumped for August I can barely stand it.
Delta Asher, I love y'all. I wish I knew how to say how much I loved y'all, but the words aren't coming right now. You've all impacted me in some way, encouraged me in every way, and made me thankful that I've got so many awesome people running after the Lord with me. To quote Jevon, "we won Impact."
"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13
Couldn't have said it better, Big Poppa.
Delta Asher. Two seemingly meaningless words to the average person. But I can't describe the flood of memories, emotions, and laughter that comes to mind when I see or hear those two words. But let's start at the beginning.
At Texas A&M, there's this incredible thing called Impact--a Christian fish camp that seeks to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ and plug the incoming A&M class into the body of Christ at A&M. Pretty sweet, right? I was a camper at Impact last year and am now a counselor--something that I never thought I'd say. All first semester of freshman year, I wanted to be a counselor, but after being rejected from summer camps over and over, my confidence in my counseling ability faded to nothing. After going to an informational for Impact, I really heard the voice of God tell me to apply. That was the first time in a long time that I'd been paying attention enough for him to scream through my barriers and tell me exactly what I was supposed to do.
And I did.
I'm crying right now (shocking) because I'm just so freaking happy that I listened. Mariah, Jevon, Ashley, Jackson, Dani, Preston, Emma, Eric, Paige, Nick, Ella, Benjamin, Helen, David (Dragon), Lindsey, Blake, and Brady became 17 of the most important people in my life. Every Monday night, we gathered together to worship, pray, laugh, cry (mostly me), and plan for August 8-11 where we will FINALLY meet the freshman the Lord wants us to get to know and love on and pursue. And I couldn't have asked for better co-chairs (Mariah and Jevon), better prayer leaders (Ashley and Jackson), a better partner (Brady), and a better team to work with. To say I've been blessed is a massive understatement.
Last night was our last meeting as a camp before we reconvene August 6th for pre-camp workdays. This semester has flown by and it's time for summer. Am I ready to leave them? Heck no. I never will be. I can't wait for August. But this summer will be for growth, preparation, and pure excitement. It will be good. I'll miss them all like a crazy person (if it's possible for me to get any crazier) but I know that this summer will make jumping into their arms in August that much sweeter.
Today is registration day for Impact. It's crazy to think that some of the girls in my small group (BG) are signing up today. WEIRD. But also extremely exciting. I am just so pumped for August I can barely stand it.
Delta Asher, I love y'all. I wish I knew how to say how much I loved y'all, but the words aren't coming right now. You've all impacted me in some way, encouraged me in every way, and made me thankful that I've got so many awesome people running after the Lord with me. To quote Jevon, "we won Impact."
"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13
Couldn't have said it better, Big Poppa.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Titanic
The ship and the movie were icons of the day. The mighty "unsinkable" ship with it's revolutionary technology that closes the water off. The movie with the #1 biggest profit any movie has ever made (until Avatar in 2010). The shocking 1,514 people who perished due to a lack of lifeboats and a lack of organization. The depressing scene when Jack Dawson sinks into the freezing Atlantic. When the living passengers were horrified when they watched the ship snap in half. When the audience was frustrated because the lifeboat was going away and Rose couldn't scream loud enough.
As a small child, I went through information obsessions. Helen Keller, Abraham Lincoln, the Revolutionary War. I had a surprisingly large collection of child-friendly biographies and historically accurate books. I had a book on the Titanic that I read countless times. As an eight-year-old, I practically had the thing memorized. My favorite Magic Treehouse Book was the one about the Titanic. My favorite song as a kindergartener was "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. It was a fascinating subject that I couldn't know enough about. As a first grader, I didn't really get the magnitude of the situation. I didn't understand that fifteen hundred people had died in one of the worst shipwrecks in history. Only 710 people lived to see the Carpathia, the ship that came to the rescue hours too late, sail into the New York harbor.
The movie is definitely a classic. A classic that I hadn't seen until Wednesday. Don't ask me why, because I don't have an answer. But I saw it and fell in love. Rose was a frustrating character but I understood her completely. Forced into a cookie-cutter mold but not quite fitting. In appearance, sure. In personality, hardly. Opinionated in a world where women weren't respected. Controlled by men. Her angst was excellently shown. Jack was your typical poor "hooligan". A mischievous but irresistible smile (I mean, he was Leonardo DiCaprio, let's be real). Bold but not disrespectful. Devilishly handsome. A romantic. How could you not fall in love with Jack Dawson, despite his lack of money? He was a protector. He was in love. He had a passion for life. The movie depicted the view from several perspectives, what it was like for families in the lower class, how oblivious the upper class was, and how disorganized the evacuation effort was. Yes, it induced tears. Naturally. And it made the Titanic so real. It wasn't a part of my childhood fixation anymore. It really happened. The love story? Questionable validity. But the facts? Pretty dead on from what I've read. Hollywood didn't mess this one up too badly.
So, Titanic. A terrible, tragic atrocity of human error. A movie to be adored by millions.
I'll leave off with this: My heart will go on forevermore.
As a small child, I went through information obsessions. Helen Keller, Abraham Lincoln, the Revolutionary War. I had a surprisingly large collection of child-friendly biographies and historically accurate books. I had a book on the Titanic that I read countless times. As an eight-year-old, I practically had the thing memorized. My favorite Magic Treehouse Book was the one about the Titanic. My favorite song as a kindergartener was "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. It was a fascinating subject that I couldn't know enough about. As a first grader, I didn't really get the magnitude of the situation. I didn't understand that fifteen hundred people had died in one of the worst shipwrecks in history. Only 710 people lived to see the Carpathia, the ship that came to the rescue hours too late, sail into the New York harbor.
The movie is definitely a classic. A classic that I hadn't seen until Wednesday. Don't ask me why, because I don't have an answer. But I saw it and fell in love. Rose was a frustrating character but I understood her completely. Forced into a cookie-cutter mold but not quite fitting. In appearance, sure. In personality, hardly. Opinionated in a world where women weren't respected. Controlled by men. Her angst was excellently shown. Jack was your typical poor "hooligan". A mischievous but irresistible smile (I mean, he was Leonardo DiCaprio, let's be real). Bold but not disrespectful. Devilishly handsome. A romantic. How could you not fall in love with Jack Dawson, despite his lack of money? He was a protector. He was in love. He had a passion for life. The movie depicted the view from several perspectives, what it was like for families in the lower class, how oblivious the upper class was, and how disorganized the evacuation effort was. Yes, it induced tears. Naturally. And it made the Titanic so real. It wasn't a part of my childhood fixation anymore. It really happened. The love story? Questionable validity. But the facts? Pretty dead on from what I've read. Hollywood didn't mess this one up too badly.
So, Titanic. A terrible, tragic atrocity of human error. A movie to be adored by millions.
I'll leave off with this: My heart will go on forevermore.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Summer 2012
I'm going to be honest: the concept of school letting out in May scares the heck out of me. Because by May 9, all my friends will be well on their way home, our rooms vacated, addresses exchanged for letter writing, a few good tears shed, and off to our own devices. As 95% of my close friends are working at a camp this summer, there won't be one time until August when we can all reconvene Only two of my really close girl friends live within an hour of me (though the majority of my guy friends live close).
But we won't have a universal meeting spot. We can't just say "Hey, meet me in the commons" or "See you in a few minutes". Because we'll be busy and separated and not living within a 10 minute walk or a 2 minute drive of each other. Our lives will stop revolving around textbooks and studying and the social atmosphere of the dorms. I won't be able to run across the hall anymore with a funny story to Joy or Myles. I won't be able to bounce into Sarah-Beth's arms. Rachel won't lay on the floor of my room, eating my food and making hilarious comments about her life. Missy won't wander in and blush when we make even mildly awkward comments. My world as I've known it for the last nine months is about to completely change.
Let it be known: I. Don't. Like. Change.
There's a chance I'll cry all the way back to Dallas.
But this summer is a chance to learn and to grow. I know that my friends mean the world to me--I'd be a total disaster if I didn't have them this year. But this summer will be one of patience, follow-through, and excitement. Seeing them will be a treat and not something to take for granted. Every time we talk will be treasured even more than it is now. Yes, there will be times where I miss them so much that it'll hurt, but that will just go to show how truly blessed I've been.
And what's a few months of absence compared to a lifetime of friendship?
But we won't have a universal meeting spot. We can't just say "Hey, meet me in the commons" or "See you in a few minutes". Because we'll be busy and separated and not living within a 10 minute walk or a 2 minute drive of each other. Our lives will stop revolving around textbooks and studying and the social atmosphere of the dorms. I won't be able to run across the hall anymore with a funny story to Joy or Myles. I won't be able to bounce into Sarah-Beth's arms. Rachel won't lay on the floor of my room, eating my food and making hilarious comments about her life. Missy won't wander in and blush when we make even mildly awkward comments. My world as I've known it for the last nine months is about to completely change.
Let it be known: I. Don't. Like. Change.
There's a chance I'll cry all the way back to Dallas.
But this summer is a chance to learn and to grow. I know that my friends mean the world to me--I'd be a total disaster if I didn't have them this year. But this summer will be one of patience, follow-through, and excitement. Seeing them will be a treat and not something to take for granted. Every time we talk will be treasured even more than it is now. Yes, there will be times where I miss them so much that it'll hurt, but that will just go to show how truly blessed I've been.
And what's a few months of absence compared to a lifetime of friendship?
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Feeling small.
So, I went to the beach two weeks ago. And it was great. A private beach over spring break with four of my best friends was exactly the break I needed from the chaotic life that is college. The night we got there, we went straight to the beach. It was dark outside, the sun had set an hour earlier. The weather was perfect, warm with a breeze.
I walked a few yard away from the group, listening and looking. The ocean felt just so...huge. Unbelievably huge. Unending. Unceasing. Unpredictable (as much as we try to change that). I thought about how I compared to that. All five feet and five inches of me. And I was struck by how little I was. How insignificant I am compared to the ocean, a force that determines so much. The ocean doesn't care if I'm alive or not. To the ocean, I am completely unimportant because I affect nothing. I can't inflict awestruck feelings in people just like I can't inflict tsunamis. It works on it's own timing and doesn't let anything stop it, much less an average-in-physicality twenty-year-old from Suburbia, Texas. The waves would continue to crash in the surf whether I stood on the edge of what seemed like eternity or not.
But you want to know something weird?
I was comforted by that.
I was glad that I didn't compare to the sheer power of the endless ocean. I was happy to feel so small and so unimportant. And it's not because I have a low self esteem or because I wanted to dig for compliments. This is the first time I've voiced what I was thinking that night. It's because I knew that no matter how tiny I felt or how vast the ocean is, I am close with a God who is bigger and better.
2 Corinthians 12:9 says "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." Standing before the ocean, I realized that I was entirely to weak and unimportant to do anything of worth. But I am a child of the Lord, chosen to be his own. I don't have to be strong or important because the Lord is always stronger and he will always be the most important. When I feel weak, He is stronger and it shines through when I'm at my lowest point.
That's what I'm meant to do. Show how the Lord is greater in all aspects of my life. And if that takes me being small and insignificant to the world, then fine. But I am loved and I am cherished and I have been chosen to live through Christ.
"I hear the Savior say/"Thy strength indeed is small"/child of weakness watch and pray/find in me thine all in all" --Jesus Paid it All
I walked a few yard away from the group, listening and looking. The ocean felt just so...huge. Unbelievably huge. Unending. Unceasing. Unpredictable (as much as we try to change that). I thought about how I compared to that. All five feet and five inches of me. And I was struck by how little I was. How insignificant I am compared to the ocean, a force that determines so much. The ocean doesn't care if I'm alive or not. To the ocean, I am completely unimportant because I affect nothing. I can't inflict awestruck feelings in people just like I can't inflict tsunamis. It works on it's own timing and doesn't let anything stop it, much less an average-in-physicality twenty-year-old from Suburbia, Texas. The waves would continue to crash in the surf whether I stood on the edge of what seemed like eternity or not.
But you want to know something weird?
I was comforted by that.
I was glad that I didn't compare to the sheer power of the endless ocean. I was happy to feel so small and so unimportant. And it's not because I have a low self esteem or because I wanted to dig for compliments. This is the first time I've voiced what I was thinking that night. It's because I knew that no matter how tiny I felt or how vast the ocean is, I am close with a God who is bigger and better.
2 Corinthians 12:9 says "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." Standing before the ocean, I realized that I was entirely to weak and unimportant to do anything of worth. But I am a child of the Lord, chosen to be his own. I don't have to be strong or important because the Lord is always stronger and he will always be the most important. When I feel weak, He is stronger and it shines through when I'm at my lowest point.
That's what I'm meant to do. Show how the Lord is greater in all aspects of my life. And if that takes me being small and insignificant to the world, then fine. But I am loved and I am cherished and I have been chosen to live through Christ.
"I hear the Savior say/"Thy strength indeed is small"/child of weakness watch and pray/find in me thine all in all" --Jesus Paid it All
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Remembering the parachute
Well. I went 0-4 with camp applications. Pine Cove, Sky Ranch, T Bar M, and Laity Lodge all gave me a resounding no. With each rejection, I felt a little less confident and a little more insignificant. Over the span of October to February, I was reminded 4 times that I wasn't supposed to work at a camp this summer.
Initially, I took it as an "you're not good enough" message.
However, I know that isn't true. God just doesn't want me at a camp this summer. Why? I don't know quite yet. Still waiting on that one. But I'm confident in my worth both here (as in, earth) and in the eyes of the Lord. Do the rejections still hurt? Uh, yeah. They still have a hold of me. Maybe on the arm or foot and it might not be too strong, but it's there and it's not going to go away soon.
Earlier this week, I felt like I'd just been pushed out of a plane and into a complete free fall, headed straight to the ground with no hope of survival. Flailing and screaming until I was hoarse, I was entirely unable to save myself from certain death.
Then the lightbulb lit up and I realized that there was something on my back. A parachute. It'd been there the whole time and I had no idea. I was rejecting the thought that there'd been one because I was so wrapped up in what was going on. I was accepting my fate without questioning it and looking for a way out. I had given up.
Prematurely, mind you. But when I pulled that release and seconds later felt the pull of a parachute, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was safe. I was alive. The landing might cause be rough, sure. My heart was still racing. But I wasn't about to go splat. The security of a parachute quite literally had my back.
So what was my "parachute" this week? Jeremiah 29. Go get your Bible or Google it or whatever. Just read it. Find a way to read it. And don't accept yourself as a failure, because that only leads to a devastating free fall that ends in destruction. Know what you've got and know Who is on your side.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD. "And I will bring you back from captivity." Jeremiah 29:11-14a
Initially, I took it as an "you're not good enough" message.
However, I know that isn't true. God just doesn't want me at a camp this summer. Why? I don't know quite yet. Still waiting on that one. But I'm confident in my worth both here (as in, earth) and in the eyes of the Lord. Do the rejections still hurt? Uh, yeah. They still have a hold of me. Maybe on the arm or foot and it might not be too strong, but it's there and it's not going to go away soon.
Earlier this week, I felt like I'd just been pushed out of a plane and into a complete free fall, headed straight to the ground with no hope of survival. Flailing and screaming until I was hoarse, I was entirely unable to save myself from certain death.
Then the lightbulb lit up and I realized that there was something on my back. A parachute. It'd been there the whole time and I had no idea. I was rejecting the thought that there'd been one because I was so wrapped up in what was going on. I was accepting my fate without questioning it and looking for a way out. I had given up.
Prematurely, mind you. But when I pulled that release and seconds later felt the pull of a parachute, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was safe. I was alive. The landing might cause be rough, sure. My heart was still racing. But I wasn't about to go splat. The security of a parachute quite literally had my back.
So what was my "parachute" this week? Jeremiah 29. Go get your Bible or Google it or whatever. Just read it. Find a way to read it. And don't accept yourself as a failure, because that only leads to a devastating free fall that ends in destruction. Know what you've got and know Who is on your side.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD. "And I will bring you back from captivity." Jeremiah 29:11-14a
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Breakdown
Hi. I'm back. Sorry for not blogging in so many moons--turns out studying for tests is mildly more important than, say, not putting my thoughts on the interwebs. Shocking, right? Anyways, this post is not to talk about why I haven't been writing.
This post is about a ministry that was started in my homeland of Dallas.
Imagine if the church was immersed in the community. What if there were no walls or blocks in the minds of the citizens that made them believe that the church was an entity that stayed within itself? What if the church really walked within it's surrounding community? How would our world be different?
Breakdown Ministries is a Dallas-based ministry that seeks to break down the walls between the church and the community. The goal is to spread the gospel of Christ in every way possible and Breakdown's job is to equip churches with the ability to do that. Through community outreach, like carnivals and work projects, Breakdown provides local churches with the planning and resources to be part of the area instead of apart. The idea is that the church does constant follow up with the community and doesn't just strike once and then leave. The church is supposed to stay and be involved as a source of help and refuge and a light--not the closed off, locked up place for people with their noses to the sky and judging eyes cast downward. Breakdown wants the church and the community together in a relationship that is strong and positive.
Pretty awesome, right? The Lord is doing some incredible things in the greater Dallas area.
But Dallas is beginning to look like just the tip of the iceberg. The directors of Breakdown have felt the Lord tugging at their hearts to bring Breakdown to my current homestead--College Station. Home of the fightin' Texas Aggies and churches on every street corner. With a few connections, some administrative-minded guys, and a group of college freshman, Breakdown is beginning to take shape in a college town. How crazy is that?
When I first heard about Breakdown, my first thought was, "I want to be part of that." And the peace and assurance I felt when I thought that was God saying, "Good. You're listening." I am going to be one of the first leaders/volunteers of this budding ministry. Still very, very early in the planning phases, we're aiming for our first mission to be in September of this year. This spring semester is going to be all about gaining materials, building relationships with churches, and finding where we can channel the churches to meet the need that surrounds College Station and Bryan.
Pretty awesome, right? I'm so excited for things to kick off, but I'm also loving watching the wheels slowly begin to turn.
"Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink." 1 Corinthians 12:12-13
Reader, I'll keep you posted.
And Ethan? Here's a new post.
This post is about a ministry that was started in my homeland of Dallas.
Imagine if the church was immersed in the community. What if there were no walls or blocks in the minds of the citizens that made them believe that the church was an entity that stayed within itself? What if the church really walked within it's surrounding community? How would our world be different?
Breakdown Ministries is a Dallas-based ministry that seeks to break down the walls between the church and the community. The goal is to spread the gospel of Christ in every way possible and Breakdown's job is to equip churches with the ability to do that. Through community outreach, like carnivals and work projects, Breakdown provides local churches with the planning and resources to be part of the area instead of apart. The idea is that the church does constant follow up with the community and doesn't just strike once and then leave. The church is supposed to stay and be involved as a source of help and refuge and a light--not the closed off, locked up place for people with their noses to the sky and judging eyes cast downward. Breakdown wants the church and the community together in a relationship that is strong and positive.
Pretty awesome, right? The Lord is doing some incredible things in the greater Dallas area.
But Dallas is beginning to look like just the tip of the iceberg. The directors of Breakdown have felt the Lord tugging at their hearts to bring Breakdown to my current homestead--College Station. Home of the fightin' Texas Aggies and churches on every street corner. With a few connections, some administrative-minded guys, and a group of college freshman, Breakdown is beginning to take shape in a college town. How crazy is that?
When I first heard about Breakdown, my first thought was, "I want to be part of that." And the peace and assurance I felt when I thought that was God saying, "Good. You're listening." I am going to be one of the first leaders/volunteers of this budding ministry. Still very, very early in the planning phases, we're aiming for our first mission to be in September of this year. This spring semester is going to be all about gaining materials, building relationships with churches, and finding where we can channel the churches to meet the need that surrounds College Station and Bryan.
Pretty awesome, right? I'm so excited for things to kick off, but I'm also loving watching the wheels slowly begin to turn.
"Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink." 1 Corinthians 12:12-13
Reader, I'll keep you posted.
And Ethan? Here's a new post.
Monday, February 13, 2012
33% less stressed
When I woke up this morning, my stress level was enough to give me a heart attack. I knew that I would be getting some pretty definitive answers on how my semester and summer was going to look when I woke up to begin the week and that scared the heck out of me.
Thankfully, the week started out with a solid beginning.
Yes, I am going to be a 2012 Impact counselor.
The Lord delivers.
Last night, I prayed that I'd get a foothold so I can get out of this hole that I've been stuck in. The hole of insecurity and fear and the thought that no one wants me. I needed something tangible to grasp to begin the upward climb out. The hole was a deep pit with slick sides. But now the sides are becoming rough and getting a texture. It's more of a rock-climbing wall than a steel tube.
Notice, though, that I'm still 2/3rds stressed. I've still got a phone call from Laity Lodge to answer, good or bad, and a test on Thursday. At this point, I just really want the waiting and anticipation to stop. My face is turning blue because I've been holding my breath for so long. Obviously, this is a strengthening of my ability to patient and I have no choice but to keep going. There's no going back and no giving up. So I'll go the only direction I can: forward.
The promise that Christ will be with me always, no matter what, is my main comfort right now. So as I obsessively check my phone and carry my political science text book everywhere, I know that my summer plans and grades don't matter to the Lord in the material sense. All that He cares about is that He is getting the honor due to Him and He will provide me with the vessels to do that. Whether that's a 4.0 or a job at Laity Lodge or not, He's going to make sure He's given me every opportunity to praise the One who made me.
So onward I go, with my meager patience and ADD personality. He will do great things with me.
Thankfully, the week started out with a solid beginning.
Yes, I am going to be a 2012 Impact counselor.
The Lord delivers.
Last night, I prayed that I'd get a foothold so I can get out of this hole that I've been stuck in. The hole of insecurity and fear and the thought that no one wants me. I needed something tangible to grasp to begin the upward climb out. The hole was a deep pit with slick sides. But now the sides are becoming rough and getting a texture. It's more of a rock-climbing wall than a steel tube.
Notice, though, that I'm still 2/3rds stressed. I've still got a phone call from Laity Lodge to answer, good or bad, and a test on Thursday. At this point, I just really want the waiting and anticipation to stop. My face is turning blue because I've been holding my breath for so long. Obviously, this is a strengthening of my ability to patient and I have no choice but to keep going. There's no going back and no giving up. So I'll go the only direction I can: forward.
The promise that Christ will be with me always, no matter what, is my main comfort right now. So as I obsessively check my phone and carry my political science text book everywhere, I know that my summer plans and grades don't matter to the Lord in the material sense. All that He cares about is that He is getting the honor due to Him and He will provide me with the vessels to do that. Whether that's a 4.0 or a job at Laity Lodge or not, He's going to make sure He's given me every opportunity to praise the One who made me.
So onward I go, with my meager patience and ADD personality. He will do great things with me.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Because He said so
My least favorite thing my parents ever told me was "Because I said so". I would ask for something or they would tell me to do something and I would demand why and they would just give me this look and sassily say, "Because I said so, Linley." I normally would then stomp away or roll my eyes and be irritated, not thinking they had any good reason to deny me what I wanted and that they were just doing it to be spiteful.
I realize now that I was wrong. As they have 25+ years on me, what they thought was normally more logical/less detrimental than what I wanted and they had every right in the world to tell me no and that it goes because they decreed it. There is only one other being that loves me more than my parents and they always act in my best interests. "Because I said so" should always be enough.
It's weird how hard of a time I have connecting my parents methods to God's methods, despite how similar they are. He calls himself my heavenly Father, so why is it when he says "Because I said so", I ignore him? I try to do my own thing and then get mad when it doesn't work. With my parents, I always ended up doing whatever it was they wanted me to do because there was such an imminent threat of punishment.
The thing is, God has a plan that is invisible and perfectly crafted for me. And trusting him to know that "Because I said so" is enough and satisfying is both scary and freeing. When I pray, I need to keep in mind that I'll get one of three answers: yes, no, and not yet. When I ask for a reason why, I need to learn to be satisfied with "Because I said so". But maybe I'm missing a piece of the phrase.
Maybe the whole line is "Because I said so, and you'll see why."
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
I realize now that I was wrong. As they have 25+ years on me, what they thought was normally more logical/less detrimental than what I wanted and they had every right in the world to tell me no and that it goes because they decreed it. There is only one other being that loves me more than my parents and they always act in my best interests. "Because I said so" should always be enough.
It's weird how hard of a time I have connecting my parents methods to God's methods, despite how similar they are. He calls himself my heavenly Father, so why is it when he says "Because I said so", I ignore him? I try to do my own thing and then get mad when it doesn't work. With my parents, I always ended up doing whatever it was they wanted me to do because there was such an imminent threat of punishment.
The thing is, God has a plan that is invisible and perfectly crafted for me. And trusting him to know that "Because I said so" is enough and satisfying is both scary and freeing. When I pray, I need to keep in mind that I'll get one of three answers: yes, no, and not yet. When I ask for a reason why, I need to learn to be satisfied with "Because I said so". But maybe I'm missing a piece of the phrase.
Maybe the whole line is "Because I said so, and you'll see why."
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
Friday, February 3, 2012
I'm pretty much falling apart. And other realizations.
I'm that kid who rarely gets sick. A headache every now and then. A stomachache once in a while. Maybe a stuffy nose a few times a year. But this past week, I've literally thought that my body was at war with itself.
Let's list the issues:
1. The weird, circular rash I've had on my left wrist that's been there since mid-December? Ringworm. I now own some anti-fungal cream. As I type this, the cream is currently drying on my wrist. Ew.
2. The fact that I can't hear out of my right ear? Clogged. I bought some gross, oily stuff to stick in there twice a day to remove the stuff.
3. Congestion, sneezing, wheezing, inability to breathe with my mouth closed? Sudafed.
4. Add the thyroid medication I've been taking my whole life, and you've got one very medicated Linley.
All-in-all, I've had a very strange, highly uncommon week. The girl who never gets sick has more than one weird ailment. The irony is almost too much to bear.
As for the other realizations, here's another list.
1. It won't be the end of the world if I don't work at a camp this summer.
2. This current semester has been very interesting. And it needs to chill out. Soon.
3. Netflix is so good and so bad.
4. American Literature is awesome.
5. Last night, I actually prayed that my earwax would go away. Here's to God listening to the big and the small.
6. Who am I supposed to cheer for in the Super Bowl when I despise both of them? Angst.
7. I need to memorize 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 big time.
See ya later, reader.
Let's list the issues:
1. The weird, circular rash I've had on my left wrist that's been there since mid-December? Ringworm. I now own some anti-fungal cream. As I type this, the cream is currently drying on my wrist. Ew.
2. The fact that I can't hear out of my right ear? Clogged. I bought some gross, oily stuff to stick in there twice a day to remove the stuff.
3. Congestion, sneezing, wheezing, inability to breathe with my mouth closed? Sudafed.
4. Add the thyroid medication I've been taking my whole life, and you've got one very medicated Linley.
All-in-all, I've had a very strange, highly uncommon week. The girl who never gets sick has more than one weird ailment. The irony is almost too much to bear.
As for the other realizations, here's another list.
1. It won't be the end of the world if I don't work at a camp this summer.
2. This current semester has been very interesting. And it needs to chill out. Soon.
3. Netflix is so good and so bad.
4. American Literature is awesome.
5. Last night, I actually prayed that my earwax would go away. Here's to God listening to the big and the small.
6. Who am I supposed to cheer for in the Super Bowl when I despise both of them? Angst.
7. I need to memorize 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 big time.
See ya later, reader.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
A letter from God
Dear you,
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Child, I love you no matter what, but you have got to realize who you are. It's breaking my heart to see you like this. Look at me and understand. Read this and know with your heart who I Am.
Child, you are so, so precious to me. You are so beautiful. I created you and I don't make anything that's even the slightest bit flawed. I make no mistakes. None. Zero. So why do you believe that you have things wrong with you? Why do you question yourself so constantly? Why do you wish for change? Little one, you were made in my likeness. To question your own beauty is to question mine. You're my workmanship, my masterpiece. I am so proud of you.
Beloved, I know you struggle with never feeling like you are enough for anything. You think that you aren't good, pretty, smart enough. And you're right...if we were discussing you from before you came to me. Now is a different story. Now I have filled you and am such a part of your life that you can't live without me. And child, now you are enough because I am enough. You do everything by my strength because, without me, you have none. You say your favorite verse is Philippians 4:13, right? Then live it. Show it. Let me be your entirety. Give into me.
Creation, you are in me and I am in you. You're safe in the storm with me. You can do anything with me. You are everything with me and you are everything to me. I love you in ways that you will never understand because my love for you is too great. Everything I have done, I have done so you would see me and grow close to me and be with me.
Sweet one, I love you. If the world turns against you, well, you're in good company. And if the world turns against you, you will still be mine.
Love eternally,
God.
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Child, I love you no matter what, but you have got to realize who you are. It's breaking my heart to see you like this. Look at me and understand. Read this and know with your heart who I Am.
Child, you are so, so precious to me. You are so beautiful. I created you and I don't make anything that's even the slightest bit flawed. I make no mistakes. None. Zero. So why do you believe that you have things wrong with you? Why do you question yourself so constantly? Why do you wish for change? Little one, you were made in my likeness. To question your own beauty is to question mine. You're my workmanship, my masterpiece. I am so proud of you.
Beloved, I know you struggle with never feeling like you are enough for anything. You think that you aren't good, pretty, smart enough. And you're right...if we were discussing you from before you came to me. Now is a different story. Now I have filled you and am such a part of your life that you can't live without me. And child, now you are enough because I am enough. You do everything by my strength because, without me, you have none. You say your favorite verse is Philippians 4:13, right? Then live it. Show it. Let me be your entirety. Give into me.
Creation, you are in me and I am in you. You're safe in the storm with me. You can do anything with me. You are everything with me and you are everything to me. I love you in ways that you will never understand because my love for you is too great. Everything I have done, I have done so you would see me and grow close to me and be with me.
Sweet one, I love you. If the world turns against you, well, you're in good company. And if the world turns against you, you will still be mine.
Love eternally,
God.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
And He walks with me and He talks with me...
Rejection is quite possibly my least favorite thing in the world. Speaking from too much experience.
Job applications, leadership groups, scholarships...you name it, I've been denied it (from an application standpoint anyway). And it has been far from enjoyable. It's been frustrating and annoying and degrading, making me feel completely inadequate for any future attempts at applying for something. It's been so discouraging that I've found myself not applying to certain things because I feel positive that I won't get it and that it would only be adding to my growing pile of rejection letters and emails.
At A&M, there's a Christian fish camp (orientation camp) called Impact. As a Christian who feels the desire and need to serve others by mentoring them and helping to grow their faith, I thought that was something I wanted to be part of. I went to Impact myself and loved it and by the end of it, I was already planning to apply when applications came out.
Tonight I went to an informational about it. And the room--that probably holds about 250 people--was absolutely packed, to the point where we were breaking fire code. I went in and just felt so insignificant and intimidated. Impact only chooses 420 people to be counselors. Some of those spots are already taken because of past counselors. The odds, as always, are so stacked against me. I wanted to be a counselor, but fear of rejection gripped me, overpowering my desire to be a counselor.
At the very end of the informational, one of the executive leaders prayed before we were dismissed. In the middle of the prayer, I decided that I wasn't going to apply because I wouldn't get a position. All my insecurities and fear took over. And right after I thought that, the girl who was praying said "...and don't let any insecurities or fear of rejection stop anyone here from applying because you know that none of us are perfect and you can use us anyway..."
I don't think I breathed until I got halfway down the stairs. I've had a few very convicting moments in my day, and this was certainly one of them. Does it mean that I'm for sure going to get the opportunity to be a counselor? Not by any means. Maybe this will be another learning experience of patience and perseverance, sticking to the promise that God has other things for me than Impact. But maybe it means that the waiting is over. Maybe this is the reward for being patient. Who knows? I sure don't. But I'm going to put myself out there while falling back on the one who holds my heart. Doing both is a lot easier than you might think.
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4
Job applications, leadership groups, scholarships...you name it, I've been denied it (from an application standpoint anyway). And it has been far from enjoyable. It's been frustrating and annoying and degrading, making me feel completely inadequate for any future attempts at applying for something. It's been so discouraging that I've found myself not applying to certain things because I feel positive that I won't get it and that it would only be adding to my growing pile of rejection letters and emails.
At A&M, there's a Christian fish camp (orientation camp) called Impact. As a Christian who feels the desire and need to serve others by mentoring them and helping to grow their faith, I thought that was something I wanted to be part of. I went to Impact myself and loved it and by the end of it, I was already planning to apply when applications came out.
Tonight I went to an informational about it. And the room--that probably holds about 250 people--was absolutely packed, to the point where we were breaking fire code. I went in and just felt so insignificant and intimidated. Impact only chooses 420 people to be counselors. Some of those spots are already taken because of past counselors. The odds, as always, are so stacked against me. I wanted to be a counselor, but fear of rejection gripped me, overpowering my desire to be a counselor.
At the very end of the informational, one of the executive leaders prayed before we were dismissed. In the middle of the prayer, I decided that I wasn't going to apply because I wouldn't get a position. All my insecurities and fear took over. And right after I thought that, the girl who was praying said "...and don't let any insecurities or fear of rejection stop anyone here from applying because you know that none of us are perfect and you can use us anyway..."
I don't think I breathed until I got halfway down the stairs. I've had a few very convicting moments in my day, and this was certainly one of them. Does it mean that I'm for sure going to get the opportunity to be a counselor? Not by any means. Maybe this will be another learning experience of patience and perseverance, sticking to the promise that God has other things for me than Impact. But maybe it means that the waiting is over. Maybe this is the reward for being patient. Who knows? I sure don't. But I'm going to put myself out there while falling back on the one who holds my heart. Doing both is a lot easier than you might think.
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Awesome athletes
What do Tim Tebow, Josh Hamilton, and Andy Dalton have in common? They all get paid big money to either hit or throw a ball, have been either grossly underrated or counted out of the runnings at some point, and they all are exceptionally Godly men who exhibit that trait excellently.
If you haven't heard at least one of the first two listed guys, I'd think that you'd been living under a rock in Siberia. But, just for the sake of the icy rock dwellers and assuming that such people have internet access and read my blog (which I'm going to dub unlikely), here's the deal:
Tim Tebow is under the American microscope for his faith and how he exhibits it shamelessly on and off the football field. He was put into play earlier in the season because the Bronco fans wanted to see what he could do (their QB who started the season didn't work out so well) and his coach put him in to shut the fans up, not really anticipating this running back of a quarterback to be successful. He was wrong. Tim Tebow shined...in more ways than one. It seems I couldn't turn on the TV or get online without seeing something about Tebow's faith cropping up--and it thrilled me. It's so apparent that God is working through this guy and every time I'd see some story on him, I would smile. Tim Tebow, you rock.
Josh Hamilton is one of the faces of the Texas Rangers. Dangerous with a bat and can throw a ball from centerfield to second base faster than you can blink. He was the number 1 draft pick in 1999 but had a major falling out into drugs that knocked him out of pro ball for a few years. By the grace of God (and his tough-love grandmother), he got back on his feet, his wife forgave him (a whole other story that is also noteworthy but for another time), and he is back on the diamond. I know this because I read his book, not because I'm a creepy stalker who just researches vast amounts of personal information about my favorite sports figures. Anyways. His heart was completely changed. It's a miracle that he's still alive, much less the winner of the American League MVP of 2010. And he lives every day for the Lord and isn't shy about it. I love the Rangers for more reasons than I can count (heck, I have a Rangers cover for my phone), and, yes, Josh's outward profession of faith is a big one.
Andy Dalton. Rose Bowl of 2010 champ. Current stud of the Cincinnati Bengals. I'm wishing that I could vote in the Rookie of the Year poll because Dalton deserves it way more than Cam Newton, last year's scandalous Heisman winner. Who tied Peyton Manning's touchdown pass record? And who took their team to the playoffs? Andy did. Not Cam. Things to think about... But beyond his superb skills in the pocket, Andy started a Bible study in TCU's campus and is a solid Christian guy with a humble heart. He and Tebow are kind of the underdogs of the year and America loves a good underdog, especially a stand-up, solid one like Andy or Tim. Andy Dalton, you're amazing.
Ask me what celebrities I'd want to meet and I wouldn't say Ryan Reynolds, Rachel McAdams, or Justin Bieber, or any other Hollywooder for that matter. Give me those Christian athletes ANY day.
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
If you haven't heard at least one of the first two listed guys, I'd think that you'd been living under a rock in Siberia. But, just for the sake of the icy rock dwellers and assuming that such people have internet access and read my blog (which I'm going to dub unlikely), here's the deal:
Tim Tebow is under the American microscope for his faith and how he exhibits it shamelessly on and off the football field. He was put into play earlier in the season because the Bronco fans wanted to see what he could do (their QB who started the season didn't work out so well) and his coach put him in to shut the fans up, not really anticipating this running back of a quarterback to be successful. He was wrong. Tim Tebow shined...in more ways than one. It seems I couldn't turn on the TV or get online without seeing something about Tebow's faith cropping up--and it thrilled me. It's so apparent that God is working through this guy and every time I'd see some story on him, I would smile. Tim Tebow, you rock.
Josh Hamilton is one of the faces of the Texas Rangers. Dangerous with a bat and can throw a ball from centerfield to second base faster than you can blink. He was the number 1 draft pick in 1999 but had a major falling out into drugs that knocked him out of pro ball for a few years. By the grace of God (and his tough-love grandmother), he got back on his feet, his wife forgave him (a whole other story that is also noteworthy but for another time), and he is back on the diamond. I know this because I read his book, not because I'm a creepy stalker who just researches vast amounts of personal information about my favorite sports figures. Anyways. His heart was completely changed. It's a miracle that he's still alive, much less the winner of the American League MVP of 2010. And he lives every day for the Lord and isn't shy about it. I love the Rangers for more reasons than I can count (heck, I have a Rangers cover for my phone), and, yes, Josh's outward profession of faith is a big one.
Andy Dalton. Rose Bowl of 2010 champ. Current stud of the Cincinnati Bengals. I'm wishing that I could vote in the Rookie of the Year poll because Dalton deserves it way more than Cam Newton, last year's scandalous Heisman winner. Who tied Peyton Manning's touchdown pass record? And who took their team to the playoffs? Andy did. Not Cam. Things to think about... But beyond his superb skills in the pocket, Andy started a Bible study in TCU's campus and is a solid Christian guy with a humble heart. He and Tebow are kind of the underdogs of the year and America loves a good underdog, especially a stand-up, solid one like Andy or Tim. Andy Dalton, you're amazing.
Ask me what celebrities I'd want to meet and I wouldn't say Ryan Reynolds, Rachel McAdams, or Justin Bieber, or any other Hollywooder for that matter. Give me those Christian athletes ANY day.
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
Friday, January 13, 2012
Book analysis of the nerdiest variety
I think it's fairly apparent that I am an avid reader. Give me nearly any fiction book and I can have it read in about a week (if I enjoy it enough). When I want to chill out, I read. When I want to escape, I read. Books are worlds that I understand and can grasp because they're literally spelled out in front of me. When my life gets crazy, I sink into someone else's life through the pages of a book.
So here are my thoughts on books that are on my mind, some that I've read and some that I need to read.
Inheritance by Christopher Paolini. The final installment of the Eragon books came out in November, but a few weeks before finals. Topping off at 849 pages, I knew I wouldn't be able to read it and stay on top of my school, so I waited until I was home for break to get into in. And I'm so glad that I waited. After a slow 200 pages, the book finally picked up some momentum and had me flying through the pages. The end was good and everything tied off nicely. There were some great twists that I definitely didn't see coming and was left reeling from. Honestly, a few more people could have died and it would've been good. To sound sinister, I almost like when major characters die because it makes it seem more real. For example, in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Fred died. Though it was absolutely devastating and I cried my eyes out, it was right that such a main character was killed. You can't obliterate the enemy without taking some casualties of your own. But overall, I thought the book was a really good ending. Paolini definitely still ripped stuff from Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and some Harry Potter, but it was an enjoyable read and well crafted. I give it a solid A.
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Lewis is starting to push his way up to the top of my favorite authors list. I'm still in the process of reading TSL but from what I've read so far, I'm pumped to dig further into this book. It's intriguing, darkly so, and completely hooking. And after I finish TSL, I will have just begun my C.S. Lewis collection. Until We Have Faces and Mere Christianity are next on the list.
The Kane Chronicles: The Serpent's Shadow by Rick Riordan. The last book of the Kane trilogy is debuting in May. Riordan, made famous by his Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, has set forth another series, this time about Egyptian mythology. The past two books in the Kane trilogy have been great, of course. However, I still prefer Percy Jackson to the sibling duo of Carter and Sadie Kane. Egyptian mythology is much different than Greek and Roman mythology and, though Riordan does a good job of explaining what the ancient Egyptians believed, it just isn't as good as his previous series about Greek mythology. To be clear, I've highly enjoyed the Kane Chronicles and he made a great story and I'm excited to see how it all ends. Will Carter and Sadie wake up the sun god? Will their godly friend come out of his deep trance to save the day? Or will the serpent god end up destroying the world as we know it?
The Heroes of Olympus: Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan. Yes, another Riordan original. I know I've talked about this series before, but in case you know nothing about it, here's a short synopsis: Greek and Roman mythology is a lot alike, but also very different. They share the same gods but with different names (Poseidon=Neptune). We all know that these gods liked to have mortal children, so there are Roman god children and Greek god children. These two groups have a bloody past but in this series, they have to come together to defeat the greater evil who is threatening to overthrow the gods. I'm SO excited for the next book to come out because, from the sounds of things, everything is going to hinge on one of my favorite characters, Annabeth, a daughter of Athena. October, please get here soon!
Nevermore by James Patterson. The last of the Maximum Ride series comes out in August of this year. After intense character drama, growing experiences, death-defying trials, and an imminent force who threatens to take control of the minds of kids and teenagers across the world, it's up to the Flock to stop the evil that is brewing across the world. Max has to get over her anger towards the two main boys in her life, find the kid in her flock who is constantly being kidnapped (seriously, she's like the bird-kid version of Daphne), and save the world. All with keeping those she holds close to her heart safe. In this epic finale, I know I will cry. But I also know that Max will pull out the win. She always does. But she's got to swallow that massive pride to do it. And, for all you Maximum Ride fans out there, here's my prediction: Max and Fang will, of course, end up together. Dylan will still get what he wants...just not in the way he expects (wink wink, MARA, wink wink).
Reader, I'll keep you posted.
So here are my thoughts on books that are on my mind, some that I've read and some that I need to read.
Inheritance by Christopher Paolini. The final installment of the Eragon books came out in November, but a few weeks before finals. Topping off at 849 pages, I knew I wouldn't be able to read it and stay on top of my school, so I waited until I was home for break to get into in. And I'm so glad that I waited. After a slow 200 pages, the book finally picked up some momentum and had me flying through the pages. The end was good and everything tied off nicely. There were some great twists that I definitely didn't see coming and was left reeling from. Honestly, a few more people could have died and it would've been good. To sound sinister, I almost like when major characters die because it makes it seem more real. For example, in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Fred died. Though it was absolutely devastating and I cried my eyes out, it was right that such a main character was killed. You can't obliterate the enemy without taking some casualties of your own. But overall, I thought the book was a really good ending. Paolini definitely still ripped stuff from Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and some Harry Potter, but it was an enjoyable read and well crafted. I give it a solid A.
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Lewis is starting to push his way up to the top of my favorite authors list. I'm still in the process of reading TSL but from what I've read so far, I'm pumped to dig further into this book. It's intriguing, darkly so, and completely hooking. And after I finish TSL, I will have just begun my C.S. Lewis collection. Until We Have Faces and Mere Christianity are next on the list.
The Kane Chronicles: The Serpent's Shadow by Rick Riordan. The last book of the Kane trilogy is debuting in May. Riordan, made famous by his Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, has set forth another series, this time about Egyptian mythology. The past two books in the Kane trilogy have been great, of course. However, I still prefer Percy Jackson to the sibling duo of Carter and Sadie Kane. Egyptian mythology is much different than Greek and Roman mythology and, though Riordan does a good job of explaining what the ancient Egyptians believed, it just isn't as good as his previous series about Greek mythology. To be clear, I've highly enjoyed the Kane Chronicles and he made a great story and I'm excited to see how it all ends. Will Carter and Sadie wake up the sun god? Will their godly friend come out of his deep trance to save the day? Or will the serpent god end up destroying the world as we know it?
The Heroes of Olympus: Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan. Yes, another Riordan original. I know I've talked about this series before, but in case you know nothing about it, here's a short synopsis: Greek and Roman mythology is a lot alike, but also very different. They share the same gods but with different names (Poseidon=Neptune). We all know that these gods liked to have mortal children, so there are Roman god children and Greek god children. These two groups have a bloody past but in this series, they have to come together to defeat the greater evil who is threatening to overthrow the gods. I'm SO excited for the next book to come out because, from the sounds of things, everything is going to hinge on one of my favorite characters, Annabeth, a daughter of Athena. October, please get here soon!
Nevermore by James Patterson. The last of the Maximum Ride series comes out in August of this year. After intense character drama, growing experiences, death-defying trials, and an imminent force who threatens to take control of the minds of kids and teenagers across the world, it's up to the Flock to stop the evil that is brewing across the world. Max has to get over her anger towards the two main boys in her life, find the kid in her flock who is constantly being kidnapped (seriously, she's like the bird-kid version of Daphne), and save the world. All with keeping those she holds close to her heart safe. In this epic finale, I know I will cry. But I also know that Max will pull out the win. She always does. But she's got to swallow that massive pride to do it. And, for all you Maximum Ride fans out there, here's my prediction: Max and Fang will, of course, end up together. Dylan will still get what he wants...just not in the way he expects (wink wink, MARA, wink wink).
Reader, I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Blessed
"In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others." --C.S. Lewis
So, there's a chance that I almost cried when I first read that quote. Why? Because the first half is exactly my amazing group of friends: me (Linley), Myles, Rachel, Missy, and Joy.
Birth dates: I was born in 1991. Joy was born in 1992. Rachel, Missy, and Myles were in 1993. That's not a huge range, but with me being twenty and Rachel, Missy, and Myles not even nineteen yet, you would think that we wouldn't all be as close as we are. The fact of the matter is that age is starting to become less of a factor in friendships because we're all going through the same stage of life--our freshman year of college--together. We're sharing experiences and struggles and that's what bonds us together, not age.
Distance between our homes: Rachel and I are from DFW. Missy is from Houston. Myles and Joy are from Austin. Geography is not on our side--pesky Texas and it's bigness--but we make it work. Over the Christmas break, I haven't gone one day without talking to at least one of my friends. But where our homes work against us, technology does not. The five of us have been on a group text together since early November and it is my link to them. That group message has kept me from going nuts.
Choice of school: I got into A&M by the skin of my teeth. I was one of the last people to get into my dorm (4th floor, room 53 out of 60). Had I not gotten into A&M or my dorm, I would have a completely different circle of friends. I wouldn't be as mature. I wouldn't be growing in my faith as much. My friends have been my rocks, my comfort, and my happiness.
Small world stories: I was in a Pine Cove cabin with Joy freshman year of high school. She was in another cabin with Missy a few years later. Myles went to high school with Joy. Joy and Rachel did the same program over the summer and ended up in the same sorority. I met Rachel at fish camp. All of us were connected to each other before school started by small degrees of separation.
This is going to sound cliche and immature, but these friends are like my sisters. They have held me together and helped me grow. I love them so much and my life will never, ever be the same because of them. Their friendship is the craftsmanship of an artful God, who makes beautiful and treasured works.
And for that reason, among countless others, I am blessed.
So, there's a chance that I almost cried when I first read that quote. Why? Because the first half is exactly my amazing group of friends: me (Linley), Myles, Rachel, Missy, and Joy.
Birth dates: I was born in 1991. Joy was born in 1992. Rachel, Missy, and Myles were in 1993. That's not a huge range, but with me being twenty and Rachel, Missy, and Myles not even nineteen yet, you would think that we wouldn't all be as close as we are. The fact of the matter is that age is starting to become less of a factor in friendships because we're all going through the same stage of life--our freshman year of college--together. We're sharing experiences and struggles and that's what bonds us together, not age.
Distance between our homes: Rachel and I are from DFW. Missy is from Houston. Myles and Joy are from Austin. Geography is not on our side--pesky Texas and it's bigness--but we make it work. Over the Christmas break, I haven't gone one day without talking to at least one of my friends. But where our homes work against us, technology does not. The five of us have been on a group text together since early November and it is my link to them. That group message has kept me from going nuts.
Choice of school: I got into A&M by the skin of my teeth. I was one of the last people to get into my dorm (4th floor, room 53 out of 60). Had I not gotten into A&M or my dorm, I would have a completely different circle of friends. I wouldn't be as mature. I wouldn't be growing in my faith as much. My friends have been my rocks, my comfort, and my happiness.
Small world stories: I was in a Pine Cove cabin with Joy freshman year of high school. She was in another cabin with Missy a few years later. Myles went to high school with Joy. Joy and Rachel did the same program over the summer and ended up in the same sorority. I met Rachel at fish camp. All of us were connected to each other before school started by small degrees of separation.
This is going to sound cliche and immature, but these friends are like my sisters. They have held me together and helped me grow. I love them so much and my life will never, ever be the same because of them. Their friendship is the craftsmanship of an artful God, who makes beautiful and treasured works.
And for that reason, among countless others, I am blessed.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Death is a part of life, unfortunately
I'll be honest: I haven't had to deal with much death that's close to me. My grandfather passed away in May of 2009 and that was hard because it was so unexpected. He wasn't necessarily a healthy man, but he was a grandfather. He was in his late 70s. He'd lived a fantastic life and though I miss him dearly and his death did come with a shock factor, it was without the immense tragedy that comes with death of someone much younger.
Unfortunately, my town has had to deal with all too much of the latter, the most recent tragedy coming on New Years day.
A friend from my home church, Libbie, was killed in a one-car accident when she was coming back from hunting with her boyfriend. I'll spare the details of the accident beyond that out of respect for the families of both Libbie and her boyfriend, Drew. She was care-flighted to Columbus, Georgia and kept on life support until it became evident that she would not recover. On January 3rd, she became an organ donor.
The news of hearing about Libbie was...stunning. Devastating. Hard to hear and even harder to comprehend. Nothing seemed real about it until after her memorial service, and even now, 3 days later, I still expect her to be returning back to Auburn for her spring semester. The fact that she isn't...
There was a prayer and worship time the night after the accident, when it was still unsure if she was going to begin to heal. Some 50 people showed up in front of her house and we all prayed for a miracle, because that was the only way Libbie was going to come out of this.
But we didn't get one.
And so I began to search for answers, using the Bible against God instead of comfort from Him. I challenged Him, demanding to know why He'd promised that He'd grant our prayers if we prayed. Asking why He felt the need to ignore our cries and let a beautiful woman of the Lord die. Then I started to question my own faith: if He didn't come through with that, how can I trust Him to come through with anything? What's the point of prayer if nothing happens because of it? Does He really care? If He did, why did He let this precious, talented life slip away?
Slowly, He told me the answers. It became clear that I was being immature about this (understandably so, but immature regardless). Sometimes, the answer is going to be no. He'd be a bad parent if He said yes to everything we wanted. Libbie's death wasn't what He wanted--He isn't a merciless, bloodthirsty king--but people make mistakes and that's what happened with Libbie's accident: a terrible, tragic mistake. Everything in the Bible is true, but I need to keep in perspective that I don't get to plan my life. His will is going to be done and He takes pain and makes it beautiful. He turns misunderstanding into learning experiences. Prayer is one of the single most important things that you can have in your faith. Never doubt that for a second. And of course He cares. We'd all rot away in hell if He didn't.
Tragedy happens. People make mistakes. But His love and faithfulness endures. He will always shine a light for you to see. And if you can't see it, maybe the problem isn't the light. Maybe you just need to open your eyes.
Unfortunately, my town has had to deal with all too much of the latter, the most recent tragedy coming on New Years day.
A friend from my home church, Libbie, was killed in a one-car accident when she was coming back from hunting with her boyfriend. I'll spare the details of the accident beyond that out of respect for the families of both Libbie and her boyfriend, Drew. She was care-flighted to Columbus, Georgia and kept on life support until it became evident that she would not recover. On January 3rd, she became an organ donor.
The news of hearing about Libbie was...stunning. Devastating. Hard to hear and even harder to comprehend. Nothing seemed real about it until after her memorial service, and even now, 3 days later, I still expect her to be returning back to Auburn for her spring semester. The fact that she isn't...
There was a prayer and worship time the night after the accident, when it was still unsure if she was going to begin to heal. Some 50 people showed up in front of her house and we all prayed for a miracle, because that was the only way Libbie was going to come out of this.
But we didn't get one.
And so I began to search for answers, using the Bible against God instead of comfort from Him. I challenged Him, demanding to know why He'd promised that He'd grant our prayers if we prayed. Asking why He felt the need to ignore our cries and let a beautiful woman of the Lord die. Then I started to question my own faith: if He didn't come through with that, how can I trust Him to come through with anything? What's the point of prayer if nothing happens because of it? Does He really care? If He did, why did He let this precious, talented life slip away?
Slowly, He told me the answers. It became clear that I was being immature about this (understandably so, but immature regardless). Sometimes, the answer is going to be no. He'd be a bad parent if He said yes to everything we wanted. Libbie's death wasn't what He wanted--He isn't a merciless, bloodthirsty king--but people make mistakes and that's what happened with Libbie's accident: a terrible, tragic mistake. Everything in the Bible is true, but I need to keep in perspective that I don't get to plan my life. His will is going to be done and He takes pain and makes it beautiful. He turns misunderstanding into learning experiences. Prayer is one of the single most important things that you can have in your faith. Never doubt that for a second. And of course He cares. We'd all rot away in hell if He didn't.
Tragedy happens. People make mistakes. But His love and faithfulness endures. He will always shine a light for you to see. And if you can't see it, maybe the problem isn't the light. Maybe you just need to open your eyes.
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