My fears have worn me out

You know what I hate? Being afraid. Unfortunately, I have little minor fears all the time. I'm talkin' all the time.
For example, today I took my last (hopefully) science TAKS. Emphasis on the hopefully. It was, for a TAKS test, surprisingly difficult. And I'm a tad bit worried about my results. That's what one classifies as a "minor fear". Little things that aren't that big of a deal.
But I'm scared of a lot of things that are bigger deals.
For example, the future. I've thought this out. So, what college you go to is determined by the grades you get in high school, right? So essentially, what college you attend could be decided by the grade you get on an English project. A little stressful? Or how about those fun ACT and SAT scores? Those DO determine what school you go to. Therefore, potentially determining what you do for a living. You can't tell me that that doesn't scare you a little. I'm afraid of the unknown.
Another type of fear: height. I inherited it from my dad. It isn't extreme, but it's enough to get me nervous before I get on a plane. The biggest leap o' faith was when I did this ropes course in Colorado. The first task? Climb up this wooden pole thing and walk up an incline...which was a log. Yeah, it was smoothed out but it still had me shaking and my heart pounding. The only reason I did the course was to go down the zipline at the end though. Hardly a reason to have my heart in my throat, right?
Wrong. We all need a goal, something to push through our fears to get to. Mine just happened to be a zipline. But this summer? I'll admit it, I'm kind of scared to go to Kenya. It's just the fact that it's going to be a whole new experience and I won't feel at all comfortable that scares me. But my goal is spreading the word of Jesus Christ. Of living out The Great Commission. Quite a bit better than a zipline, I would say.
In the words of Switchfoot: my fears have worn me out. God will stop that. End. Of. Story.

Heyyyyyyyyyyy Africa!

The title of this post comes from a Youtube video. I recommend it.
In other news, I'm going to KENYA this summer on a 17 day mission trip with some awesome people from my church. I didn't think I've ever been more excited for a summer than I am for the 2010 one. Ohh yes. So I've decided to make a list of the things I'm excited about and a list of things I'm scared/worried about. And then I'll have some prayer requests so if ANYONE is actually reading this blog, you can pray for them. Thanks!
List one: things I'm super pumped about
1. Um, hello? IT'S AFRICA.
2. I'll get to experience my saving God in a new and exciting way
3. My life will be completely transformed
4. I've never been across the Atlantic before. Come to think of it, I've never been across any ocean before. The biggest body of water I've crossed is the Gulf of Mexico.
5. The team I'm going with is sort of amazing.
6. Did I mention that it's Africa?
7. A friend and I are going to teach the stanky leg to African children...irony at it's finest
8. Helloooooooo safari!
9. Why yes, my God HAS called me to go to Kenya in His name. Thanks for asking.
10. This trip will be yet another way God pushes me to give my ALL to Him. Still need to continue to work on that
11. Oh the memories I will get :)

List two: things that I'm scared/worried about
1. It's Africa...meaning that nothing is like what I'm used to
2. There's fair shot that plans will change and I like schedules
3. I'm a picky eater. Enough said.
4. What if I can't put myself out there? Correction*: what if I find that my faith isn't enough to put myself out there?
5. The getting there will take about a day (the flying and the stop in London)
6. The time change is 8 hours ahead...meaning that my sleep schedule is going to be so wacked out
7. I tend to get bored easily (see worry #5 for more information)
8. 11 teenage girls are going...yikes?

Prayer requests:
1. My youth minister. This is the biggest group of youth he's taken.
2. My team (money, bonding together so there won't be drama, preperation of the hearts, etc)
3. The leaders going
4. The kids/college students my team will my ministering to
5. That God will be able to do powerful things in everyone's lives

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28: 18-20

I write letters to people I've never met

So, I'm Linley. And I've become mildly obsessed with mystery guest husband. I mean, I don't constantly think about him, but an occasional "I wonder what Mr. Husband is doing right now?" might go through my noggin every now and again. So, last year, I decided to write him a letter. Then I wrote him another one. And it all just snowballed so that, now, I've written him 16 letters. And I'm but the tender age of 18.
I'm writing these so that he can know that I was praying for him, loving him, before we even knew each other. Trusting that I don't know him now. Which I highly doubt. Anyway, I think it would be so cool to hand him this binder/book/thing with all these letters that I've written to him. Or maybe it would just be creepy. Hopefully not the latter though. At any rate, I'd like to think that dearest hubby is thinking about who he'll end up with and maybe, possibly, occassionally, pray for me too.
To change the subject, I've decided that high school boys are all idiots in some way, shape, or form. Therefore, I am ready for college boys. This guy who works with the youth at my church told me not to date guys who are younger than college juniors (hey, Jason). Don't know if I'll actually heed that advice, but my high school's pool of dudes isn't holding much for me.
So after that mini rant, I don't think that I'm quite ready to meet my husband and to hand him his letters. I do know that God's shown me time and time again that He's got a plan. And that mystery guest husband will stop being a mystery when he and I are both ready for the veil to be uncovered (no pun intended).