Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend

It's hard because I can't pick just one friend or just one picture. That's not to say, by any means, that I'm overflowing with friends and can't imagine only picking one friend. I try to keep a pretty tight circle of friends who I'm really close to. But when I'm close to them, I'm really close to them.

Meet Paige. She's an aspiring doctor, learner, one of the most spiritually mature people I know, absolutely hilarious, goofy, can mimic a Wisconsin accent perfectly, and is an avid fan of the University of North Carolina, which is the school she is probably going to go to next year. Paige and I have found that every time we're together, we take

a picture. It never fails. It's corny and ridiculous, but it's us. And most of them aren't necessarily serious pictures.

I love Paige and think she's one of the strongest people I know. Now for the pictures...

I'm on the left and she's on the right in both of these. Hey boys--aren't we pretty? Hehe :)

Day 8: Places I've traveled to

For only being nineteen years old, I'm fairly well traveled. I've been to four of the seven continents (only briefly for one, though...) and have been immersed in several of these place's cultures. Traveling has always been an eye-opening experience and something that I definitely want to keep doing throughout my life. So here are noteworthy places I've been to...

States:

1. Alabama--I was born there (Birmingham, baby!) and have also been to Gulf Shores on vacation

2. Arkansas--My cousins live in Fayetteville

3. Colorado--Skiing (me...skiing...yeah) and also for a family camp!

4. Florida--Disney World when I was young and dorky and then in Miami briefly for a layover

5. Georgia--Mission trip 2010 :)

6. Idaho--Stayed in this tiny town (Driggs) for a hiking/adventure vacation

7. Louisiana--Passed through many times and went on mission trip there for a week (hello New Orleans!)

8. Missouri--Silver Dollar City anyone?

9. Montana--Same trip as the Idaho one. All those states are beautiful

10. New Mexico--White Sands National Park on my first mission trip. Those dunes are unreal.

11. New York--The Big Apple with my mom and dad. See you soon, NYC, because 86:12 is about to take you by storm!

12. Oklahoma--I was interested in OSU and my cousins used to live there. I've also had many a campout there too.

13. Tennessee--Lived in Franklin for about a year. It's the first house I really remember.

14. TEXAS--I have spent 17 years of my life in this state and wouldn't want it any other way.

15. Virginia--My cousins lived here! Hello, Richmond!

16. Wyoming--This was on the same trip as Montana and Idaho.

Sixteen states out of fifty? Huh. Not doing so well on the continental front. My goal is to make it to all of them someday. How awesome would Alaska be?!

Countries (in order of arrival):

1. Peru. I went on a mission trip when I was twelve...so seven years ago. That's crazy to think about because I still remember everything with perfect clarity. I stayed in Lima and Arequipa and both cities are incredible. That was my first mission trip ever--and what a great one it was. If I ever got the chance, I would absolutely go back.

2. Mexico. Okay, so I want to Cozumel. It's extremely touristy and I stayed in an all-inclusive hotel. But it's Mexico! The water was beautiful and I fed biscuits to fish who ate right out of my hands. It was an amazing, fun-filled trip with half of my mom's side of the family. I think my grandmother put down 20 Coke floats in the 5 days we were there.

3. Dominican Republic. It shares an island with Haiti but it isn't nearly as poverty stricken. The area is beautiful and very European. Some stay there for two weeks--and I thought five days was a lot. The DR is one of the happiest countries on earth, which I thought was pretty awesome. You would see these guys soaked in sweat and working on the side of the road waving at you with these huge smiles. It was an awesome vacation.

4. England. Okay, so this is kind of a half-truth. I was only in Heathrow for six hours and saw none of the city besides what I could see out of my window flying in. But I've been there so I guess I'll count it.

5. Kenya. As in Africa. Never have I been more scared or more in awe of God than in Kenya. It's alive in every aspect of the word, from the people to the animals to the landscape to the cities. Kenya is a truly amazing country and I will never forget that trip and I hope to make it back in the future.

So yes. That's a brief summary of my travels.

Day 7: Favorite movies

Oh gosh, these change with the tide. It all depends on what I've seen recently but there are only a few that stay constant. As of this day, January 27th, 2011, these are some of my favorite movies:

1. The Proposal. Hilarious beyond hilarious. I've officially decided that if I can't have Ryan Reynolds, I want Sandra Bullock to. Some of my all-time favorite quotes have come from that movie ("So...so naked."). The two main characters have such a great chemistry and I didn't stop laughing through that whole movie.

2. She's the Man. I just watched that again recently. My favorite movie quote EVER comes from this movie: "When I close my eyes, I see you for what you truly are...which is ug-lay!" I laugh during that whole movie at how awkward Amanda Bynes is and how it was nice to see stud muffin Channing Tatum show his awkward/goofy side. A hilarious adaption of Shakespeare's already funny "Twelfth Night", "She's the Man" ties in modern culture to a centuries old comedy. Though it has some gross parts (Toby and Eunice's weird kiss at the end, anyone?), it is an all around great movie.

3. Tangled. I just saw this over the past weekend and loved it. The frying pan as a weapon, Maximus the opinionated horse, and an outlaw named Eugene. What could be better? A great take on the old Repunzel tale, Tangled had me laughing the whole time. Can you tell I like comedies?

4. Toy Story 3. A great finish to the amazing adventures of our friends Woody, Buzz, and their cohorts. It had my heart racing and kept me at the edge of my seat. Yes, I cried at the end and had an overwhelming compulsion to go home and play with my Barbies that I put in the attic years ago. It really makes you wonder about the secret lives of toys, doesn't it?

5. Step Up 1-2. Nope, 3 wasn't really my favorite, sorry. The first two were great though. I always want to get up and dance during those movies. Unfortunately, no one else wants me to. So I just sit and bob my head and pretend I have good dancing skills. I live vicariously through those movies. They're just so good! And the guys in them aren't hard on the eyes either...

6. Harry Potter 7 Part 1. Seeing as I have yet to see the second part, the first is my favorite. It stayed almost completely true to the book (unlike the preceding 6). It was a very emotional movie. I laughed, cried, gripped my seat, cut off the circulation of my friend's hand (sorry, Sarah Liz), and cursed under my breath to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. It was intense and dark and brilliant. I'm SO excited for the second part but also kind of dreading it. Because after that, no more Harry Potter. Well, that's a lie. Who wants to go to the theme park with me?!

7. Get Smart. I loved this movie. Great lines, great characters, great plot. Steve Carrel does an amazing job as the bumbling and ill-experienced Maxwell Smart and Anne Hathaway is perfect for the suave and complicated Agent 99. I could see this movie again and again.

So that's my list of awesome movies. I'm sure there's more that are some of my favorites but I can't think of them right now...whoops. Have a great day!

Day 6: A picture that makes me happy.

Meet Tyson. He's four years old. He is extremely ticklish. He likes suckers. He has long eyelashes. Sometimes he sings for you. He's little bitty. His laugh could light up the world if it were put on a global microphone.

Meet Tyson. He wore the same clothes every day I saw him (four days). He speaks very little English. He had scars on his stomach. He lives in a slum. He has missing teeth. He never showed me any of his family. He cried when someone didn't hold him.

I met Tyson when I went to Kenya this summer. He was kind of adopted by my friend Mary Beth and me. He wore these three necklaces every day. This picture is of him laying across my knees while I was tickling him. My camera was in one hand and my fingers were tickling his ribs with the other. I miss him. I pray for him. I worry about him. I don't know how much he gets to eat in a day, a week, a month. I don't know where he lives. I don't know who takes care of him. He's precious and has a contagious smile.

Whenever I see pictures of Tyson, I can't help but smile. Though I do worry about him, there was just something about his innocence, his laughter, that was comforting. God's got him--and, really, that's all that's important.

I miss you, sweet boy. Keep smiling.

Day 5: A song to match my mood.

Right now, I'm feeling both optimistic but frustrated. Here's why:

We'll start with the optimism. I just sold the TOMS I bought off eBay that didn't fit--so that's great news. I thought I'd be stuck with those for a while. On a bigger scale, I'm realizing that I'm a second semester senior--meaning that I am checking out. So long, hometown, because I'm ready for college. Literally, the only thing that motivates me to get out of bed in the morning is getting good enough grades so that I can be exempt from my finals. But I'm optimistic about becoming a college student and looking forward to this summer. Of course, I'm still focusing on the now and am living every day for right now.

However, I am frustrated. Even though I've been officially accepted into school, I have to spend eight hours in school because I'm required to by law. And my graduation credentials. I'm frustrated by the fact that TOMS.com doesn't have my size in the maroon pair that I want. Frustrated that I have math homework--this is the first time I've had math homework all year. And I'm frustrated by the fact that I'm getting sick. Awesome.

So here's the song: "Fight Another Day" by Brandon Heath. The lyrics are as follows:

It's an uphill climb

But it's all you know

So you spin your wheels and dig your heels

And down you go

So predictable

But it's not your fault

How can you expect to do your best when you're scared to fall?

'Cause the pain is real

But you will survive

It's how you know you're alive

'Cause it's okay now

Hey now

You can let go

'Cause when you find out, find out

Everybody knows

There just ain't no, ain't no

Easy way out

I know it might not look that way

But you're going to live to fight another day

There's a place I know

Outside of town

Let's get out of here

Where all our fears don't hang around

It's another chance

Take it while you can

'Cause it sure won't last

It'll move so fast

And it's gone again

You're on the edge now

But you will survive

It's how you know you're alive

And cause it's okay now

Hey now

You can let go

'Cause when you find out, find out

Everybody knows

There just ain't no, ain't no

Easy way out

I know it might not look that way

But you're going to live to fight another day

Another day, yeah

You wonder what you were made of

I'm telling you know

You're going to make it somehow

What are you so afraid of?

Hey now, hey now

You can let go

'Cause when you find out, find out

That everybody knows

There just ain't no, ain't no

Easy way out

I know it might not look that way

But you're going to live to fight another day

Now hey now

You can let go

'Cause when you find out, find out

Everybody knows

There just ain't no, ain't no

Easy way out

I know it might not look that way

But you're going to live to fight another day

Fight another day

Fight another day...

"It's an uphill climb"? Ugh, yes. I feel like I have to constantly dig my heels and spin my wheels. It's tiring, really. But you know what? It's okay when I let go. Everyone gets that we have struggles and I will continue to fight another day. Because what's high school in the grand scheme of things? What's a website being out of stock in the great picture of life? Nothing overly significant.

So that's my mood in a song. Ta-da!

Day 4: My parents

Ahh, parents. Gotta love 'em. So, without further adieu, here's my ode to Karen and Mike McCord:

My mom. She was an army brat growing up and therefore lived in several states and one other country (the Japanese island of Okinawa...or however you spell it). She's the third of four with a younger brother and an older brother and sister. She looks most like her younger brother (James) but acts more like her sister (Carol). And she occasionally burps like the last brother, John. But don't tell her I said that. She grew up Southern Baptist, so that's why the rest of my family is. Basically, what Mom says goes. And if she ain't happy, nobody is happy. Fact o' life. She's hilarious ("Mike, you don't put 2 pounds of lard down the garbage disposal!"), picky about clean rooms ("Linley, you had socks on your floor! No Facebook for the rest of the day."), an excellent cook ("I made spaghetti!"), a woman of the Lord ("I have a youth support team meeting today--those are so fun!"), and your typical mom ("I'm tired of cleaning up after everyone!!!!"). My dad and I make fun of her purely out of love because she gets annoyed with some of the simplest things (see "rewinding an annoying commercial over and over to see when she notices/gets mad" for more information). Yeah, we're a normal mother and daughter because we drive each other crazy. But we also love each other like crazy. Love you, Mam Mam.

My dad. Or, as I call him, "Tick" or "Pa". Long story that will be addressed in the upcoming "Nicknames" post. Don't worry about it for now. He is the oldest of three boys (Michael "Mike", Gregory "Greg", and Andrew "Andy") and all of them were the mascot at TCU. Family tradition that I will not be continuing. Sorry, boys. Anyway, my dad was actually born in Japan (some US air force base though) so he has dual citizenship, which is pretty cool. He lived in several places too, but went to high school in New Mexico and then moved to Texas when he started school at TCU. He told me that he worked at a ski shop only to talk to the cute girls who came in--my dad the player. He is now the family's errand man and money man and go-to man and "come fix my (insert whatever is broken here)" man. He can make pretty much anything grilled--and that's about the extent of his cooking abilities. Well, he can make cereal. But that's pretty much it. He's hilarious and my partner in crime when it comes to harassing my mom (see above paragraph). And we say "I love you" a little different. So, wuvins, Pa!

So yeah. Those are my parents. I wuv dem.

Day 3: My First Love

I am SO glad that I'm getting this one out of the way. Why? Because I've never really had a "first love". So this post will be sufficiently awkward and full of ramblings about the fact that I've never really had my heart broken by any one guy. But I pledged to do this 30 day challenge and so I have to do this post.

My first (and only) boyfriend came around when I was in eighth grade. We'd been best friends since probably fourth grade and are really good friends now (thank goodness). And in eighth grade we affirmed that we liked each other and should therefore date. And we dated until we were early into our junior year of high school.

We were each other's best friends--we told each other everything. We didn't pull the other away from our other friends and were there for the other when we needed to be. We went slow and didn't kiss until we'd been dating for awhile (yes, our first kisses). We were tight. We still liked each other from eighth grade to summer before junior year.

Then things changed. It was gradual. I realized that he wasn't the guy for me. After nearly 3 years of dating, we hadn't told each other "I love you" because we'd never meant it. We had no regrets with each other because there wasn't anything to regret. I'm glad that he was my first kiss. But junior year, I just decided that, as much as it would hurt both of us, I had to end it.

It was quite possibly the hardest things I'd ever done. But I knew I had to for both of us. So gently and explaining it as well as I possibly could, I broke up with him (in person, I assure you). I tried to make no mistakes in the process (no texting, don't be vague, etc) but used the painfully cliche "I just want to be friends" and "It's not you--it's me" break-up lines. But I realized that they were overused for a reason--they're true more often than you think.

.

He wasn't my first love, but he's the closest thing that is. I love him like a brother but not as a husband. I'm proud to say that we're back to the point of being comfortable with talking to each other and do so often. He's a great guy and I know that God has an amazing girl for him. Just like God has the right guy for me.

So, I guess if I wanted to be a bit corny, I'd tell you that God is my only one and true first love. Because it's true. But I thought I'd give ya a little insight into the love life (as small as it may be...thank goodness) of Linley. Sorry for boring you to death if I did.

Girls, guys will break your heart. It broke mine to hurt the guy I dated for so long. And I've had my share of drama as pertaining to boys, I assure you. But let me promise you this: God's got one for you. So don't chase boys. It's a waste of time. How about this? You run and see who chases you.

Guys, girls will break your heart. It's a fact. But I'm not a dude so I can't give you any sage words of wisdom to give you hope, other than the fact that God's got your girl. All you have to do is listen up and put on your running shoes.

Go.

Day 2: The Reason Behind the Name

Okay, so this post is supposed to be about why I named my blog what I did, "in God's hands". But I kind of think that you need an explanation as to what my real name--Linley--is. Most people ask, so I feel like I should save you the breath (assuming you're that interested in my life...which is a long shot) and just tell you now. So here are the reasons for the blog name and my name.

Linley. L-I-N-L-E-Y. Most people spell it with a "d" in there, making it Lindley. Apparently, people know others with that name, according to my mom. I've never heard of anyone, though. Anyway, my name is a combination of my aunt's middle name (Lynn) and my mom's middle name (Lee). Obviously, my name isn't spelled Lynnlee. My mom did want my name spelled Lynlee, but my dad decided that it wasn't "logical" or whatever. But, when I'm a published author, look for Lynlee...because you're not going to find Linley. I assure you. As immature as this may sound, I want the sort-of pseudonym of Lynlee. Don't laugh. I think it's kind of artsy. But that's just my opinion, of course. So yes. That's the story of my real name.

As for the blog name, I went pretty personal. I can't remember where I heard this--maybe a sermon?--but someone was talking about how we're all God's kiddos. His holding us all tightly in His strong, sure hands and we have nothing to be afraid of. We were made to be held by Him. That was the inspiration for the blog name. I just love the concept that I am held so tightly and so snugly in the hands of the savior of the world. It's so comforting. So I wanted to exemplify that in my blog and let it be an overriding theme.

I used to sing this song when I was in preschool. It went like this: "He's got the whole world in His hands/He's got the whole world in His hands/He's got the whole world in His hands/and He's holding on tight to me" or something like that. Then it goes on to talk about all the people God has--but I forgot how that part goes. Oops. Anyway, the truth that I sang in preschool still applies to my life as a 19 year old.

Yep. There ya have it.

30 Days of Blog (Day 1: 15 random facts and a picture)

Hi. I feel like all of you readers know me fairly well, but I'm trying to blog every day for the next 30 days, so some of this stuff will be repeat material. But I'll try my dang best for it not to be. No promises, though. Anyway, I will now provide you with some picture and 15 random pieces of information about me, myself, and I.

Fact:

1. I used to be the most anti-Mac person in the world. Then my Dell crashed and I lost a lot of stuff. Now I'm obsessed with my Mac and have named it Alfred.

2. I'm strangely obsessed with middle schoolers because I find them 1. hilarious and 2. educational (on so many levels)

3. The drama show ER is my obsession. I mean, there's a reason it ran for 15 seasons.

4. When I thought about the concept of leaving my church that I've grown up in, I started crying. In the shower. Good times.

5. The only folder on my desktop is titled "Writing Goodies". Because, clearly, my mind works like a five-year-old's.

6. I'm obsessed with Twitter. It fascinates me.

7. If I could wear shorts and t-shirts for the rest of my life, I would be one of the happiest people alive.

8. I find Kelly Clarkson EXTREMELY irritating.

9. There is a fair chance that I am the clumsiest person ever. Hang out with me for a day and this fact will be proven.

10. I fall in love with characters. Fictional characters. In books. I have a whole list of male characters that I would happily marry should they be real.

11. Every time I see anything related to Miley Cyrus, I laugh. Five years ago, she was all, "Yeah, I'll be the good, Christian girl everyone from home knows me as!" Now what's she doing? SMOKIN' SOME JANK FROM A BONG.

12. I could die happy if I got to ha

ng out with the Rangers for a day.

13. I've never been superstitious about Friday the 13th because sometimes my birthday is on Friday the 13th. Who wants to think about avoiding black cats when you're worrying about not getting enough cake?

14. I have officially decided that 19 is the single most awkward age. Not the "Wow, you're an adult now!" newness of 18 but not the "Dang, you really are an adult now..." awe-factor of 20.

15. Nutella is my new favorite part of life. Try it with pretzels. Nom, nom, nom, nom.

The picture is of me (the piggy-backer) and one of my favorite people, Meredith. Thanks for reading!

I'm a big kid now?

Sixth grade. I was as nerdy as nerdy could be. No question about it. Glasses, in need of braces, constant ponytail, and in band. You can't get much more geekier than me. So when I walked into the youth group thing on Sunday night for the first time, the senior girls were perfect.

They were amazing. They had perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect clothes, perfect lives. They seemed like they had it all together. They were friends with the leaders and talked to boys without being stupid. If one of them said hi to me, I almost fainted. I was intrigued and jealous of these...women. I aspired to be like them.

But I didn't realize until last night that I am now one of them. I'm one of those fascinating, beautiful, terrifyingly perfect senior girls who looks like she has it all together and seems as if she is the most self-confident woman on the planet. I am perfect.

Or someone might like to think.

I assure you, middle school girls, I am no such thing. Yes, I may be a senior, but I am not the most confident woman on the planet. I am not overly fascinating. I do not have it all together. Do not be afraid of me. And, most importantly, I am not, by any means whatsoever, perfect.

Don't be surprised by these facts.

Can I just express how extremely weird it is to be in the group of senior girls? I am looked up to by tons of girls--some of which I might not even know. I'm not trying to flatter myself. When I was in middle school, I don't think any of those seniors had any idea that I thought so highly of them. I'm really just soaking in the very weird idea that some girl is looking to me to see what she should do.

I'm blown away by that.

But there's my theory: those girls were so incredible to me because I didn't know them. I just stood by in reverence. My plan is to get to know this year's sixth grade, seventh grade, and eighth grade girls so that maybe, just maybe, they'll see that high schoolers aren't nearly as perfect as they are falsely perceived. Only a few times did those girls show an interest in me, but I'm going to change that for you, middle schoolers. I have been changing it. I love middle schoolers, a lot. And, again, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I think it's so important for high schoolers to show genuine interest in the younger ones.

So that's what I'm doing. I don't know if the younguns are looking to me with more awe or with less. But, frankly, I don't care about my awe-factor. I just want to know them and befriend them, grade difference aside.

Maybe I look like the perfect senior girl who has everything under control all the time. But get to know me. And once you do, please laugh with me as we bust the above myth.

Unfinished business

I'm a senior. I'm looking forward to college and starting over and becoming a "real adult". I'm about to embark on a great adventure involving new friends, a new church, and a more mature faith. And that's all well and good, but can I be honest? I'm not ready to leave my church now. At Winter Weekend (my church's version of Disciple Now), I couldn't say all I wanted to say because I got too choked up.

Because I'm clearly incapable of speaking like a normal human being, I will write. So here's all my unfinished business about this weekend.

J-Tom, one of the leaders this weekend, had challenged the seniors to go up and say something to the rest of the group. I'm surprisingly good at talking in front of people, so I decided I would and God put expressing hope on my heart, so that was the plan.

If you were at Winter Weekend, you saw how I struggled when I went up to talk to the group. I really, really wanted to have a great little talk about having hope. Unfortunately, I had just had a weep-a-palooza with two of my little seventh grade buddies and was emotionally wrung out and weirdly hungry. Those put together made for one very shaky Linley.

I had sort of prepped earlier that day and had two verses and a smallish message I wanted to share with the group. Two seniors had already gone and I hopped up before I could lose my nerve. When I opened my mouth, my voice sounded like I'd been crying (which I had) and my hands were shaking so hard my Bible almost fell. I got out a few sentences and read the verses before I couldn't stay up there anymore without sobbing. But here's what I wanted to say:

Have hope. Life is hard--we all know that. Just because you're a Christian doesn't mean that God is going to make your life all happy and perfect and you'll be protected from everything. But know this. God loves you and He will be at your side. He will give you hope when you're in the darkest places of your life. Don't doubt that for a second. Yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel (no, it's not the light of the train barreling towards you, either). Just press on. Ask for His help. He is your guardian. He is your light. He is your everlasting hope.

Romans 12:12 says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." And then--this is my favorite--Matthew 28:20b (the very last sentence of Matthew) assures us of this: "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." I love that. So don't be afraid to be hopeful because you don't want to be let down. If you have hope in the right place (i.e. God), you will never be let down.

And then, my senior girls. Whether I've known you since we were little and dorky or whether I just met you this year (or anywhere in between), I genuinely love all of you. In one way or another, you've helped my faith grow. You've encouraged me to be myself and to dig into God. You've been my rocks and my friends. It freaks me out to think that in less than eight months, you won't be a major part of my life anymore. I won't see you at school or at church. Our last time all together will be in New York, and even then we'll be missing a few pieces. So really, Saturday night is going to go on my list of best nights ever. I'm going to miss all of you so much. And now, my unfinished prayer.

God, thank you. Thank you for these amazing girls who have impacted my life in some way, shape, or form. They have blessed me immeasurably. I hope You guide all of them in the way they need to go. I pray that they all have tolerable room mates. I pray that You push them to be successful. I hope that they find a church that fits them perfectly and are plugged into a vibrant college ministry where they can find their best friends. I hope these friends challenge their faith and push them to be more beautiful and strong women of faith than they already are. I pray that they don't get homesick too badly, or at all. I pray that they have the summer of their lives this year. Give them strength, guidance, love, and hope. God, I love these girls. I could pray for them for hours. Thank you, again. I love you. Amen.

LIVE WEAK.

Run.

You're in a field. It's tree-lined and you can't see the end of it. Behind you, you see a storm. And it's a whopper. Wind is whipping around from every direction and you can't get any form of stability because you feel like you're literally being pushed in every way possible. The clouds are pitch black but, right now, the clouds above you are only a stale grey. But they're moving fast and you know you're about to be pounded by this mother of storms.

You look ahead and know that you have to keep going. You've been running so long but you have to keep going to try to evade this storm for as long as possible, hoping that it might lose some of it's power before it gets to you. Sometimes that works. Sometimes you can play keep-away from all the storms that have plagued your life and they die down a little. Sometimes these storms are barely noticeable and you don't even have to run to try to stay out of them. But other times, the storm is either too powerful or comes up too fast and you're almost destroyed. You run as hard as you can, barely dodging the lightning but being deafened by the thunder; and all the while, you're being drenched by a cold rain.

This has been your life. You don't know anything different. You're sick of it, but you don't know how to stop. So you just keep running away.

But now you're about to run out of reserves. All your random boosts of energy have gone. You have nothing to draw from anymore. You're about to be consumed either by exhaustion or a storm--or both. But you just can't give up. You try to press on, to find more strength that you know you don't really have. But you run anyway, your bare feet pounding on the dead grass in a dead field. The storm is raging behind you and your shirt is rippling in the winds. You look down briefly and see that your feet are cut and bleeding--again.

Then you look up.

There's a man in all white off in the distance. He's in the same barren landscape that you are. No flowers are spontaneously blooming at his feet; the heavens aren't casting a golden light on his head, and angels aren't flying around him, singing praises to him. But he just radiated...strength. He is everything that you're not. He is power. He is beauty. He is hope.

You know that he, this man who is practically glowing, is the answer to the running you've been doing your whole life. You know you just need to make it to him, so you try to boost your speed but you...just...can't. In fact, you're slowing down. Way down. It feels like the storm has long, cold fingers and these fingers are literally pulling at you and it's getting harder to run and get to the man. But you lower your head and give one last effort. One last fight.

Then, after what seems like a lifetime, you barrel into the man. He immediately and unquestioningly wraps his arms around you and pulls you close. Instinctively, you do the same and feel scars on his back, as if from a whip. You stand still for a minute, lost in the security you feel with this man. Then you remember what's chasing you. You pull back and look at him.

"Hurry," you say, pulling on his arms, "the storm."

You hear him chuckle slightly but you're preoccupied by the fact that the storm is now right on top of you.

The man pulls you back in to another hug. "I've got you" is all he says.

Then you feel the rain. It instantly starts to drench both of you and it's colder than it's ever been. The lightning is striking so close that your arm hair is standing up and your heart is pounding. But you don't let go of the man. As terrifying as your circumstances are, you keep holding on because you know you need him.

You don't know how long you stay wrapped up in the man's arms, soaking wet but now strangely warm. But you gradually realize that the storm is slowing down. Then it stops completely. Amazingly, the clouds disappear overhead and you see something that you've only seen a few times in your life--a pure, blue sky. And now you feel stronger than you've ever felt before. You haven't felt this strong since...forever.

"So...should I leave now?" you ask the man. He smiles at you.

"There will be more storms," he replies.

You bite your lip, knowing he's right. "I can't...I'm not strong enough to endure them alone anymore. I never...I never have been strong enough, really."

His smile widens and he stops holding you, only to then extend his hand. "You've never had to."

Graciously, you take his hand and begin to walk with him. He leads because you have no idea where to go and he seems like he's got a pretty solid plan. Like you, he's bare foot and has a puncture-like scar on both feet and matching ones on each wrist. You want to know more about this savior.

Before you get a chance to ask, though, thunder rumbles to your far left and both of you look. But this time, you're ready. There will be no more running. The man squeezes your hand reassuringly and keeps leading you through.

"So I'll run to You; I will run, I will run. I will move right on through all these things that I have done. And You'll take me back--I don't know why..." --Run to You (The Rocket Summer)

"Oh, I'm running to Your arms; I'm running to Your arms. The riches of Your love will always be enough."

All-nighters are NOT good ideas

I'm a leader for this thing in my community called Wyld Life. You might have heard of Young Life, which is a Christian, high school community that's not affiliated with any church. Wyld Life is the middle school version of Young Life. It's pretty awesome and I love being involved in the growth of these middle schoolers. I was made for middle schoolers. They're hilarious.

So every year, my community's chapter of Wyld Life partners up with about six other WLs around the metroplex and did a thing called "The Bus Tour", henceforth known as TBT. It would last from 10:00 on Saturday night to 7:15 on Sunday morning. There would be no sleeping and no coffee. It would be a crazy night full of fun.

I had to be at the student center at 9:00 but the kids wouldn't get there for another hour. I made a Sonic run and fueled up on caffeine before the night commenced. Our first stop was to a school about thirty minutes away where we took part in an all-city club. Club is basically worship time, games, and a talk. And there were about three hundred kids there. It was madness. After playing several games, singing some J-Biebs, and hearing a really cool talk, a couple WL groups left but the rest (still around two hundred kids) stayed and ate pizza. Taylor Swift was played and two of my friends who are leaders with me, Meredith and Emily, danced and belted out "You Belong With Me" and "Our Song". There were a total of eight tables serving the pizza, four on each side of the gym. Across the room, there were other WL doing the same thing we were. Wyld Life leaders are all of the same breed.

After the pizza party (which ended at 1:00), we went to this indoor soccer place. It was nuts. There were four fields that were like kiddie fields and there were bleachers that looked over the fields (there were nets, of course). It was funny to watch some of our guy leaders get sweaty and into the game. I didn't play and somehow ended up as the one who held all the coats. I felt like a mom. We hoped that it would make the kids tired but that didn't work. At around two, we left for Main Event.

Bowling, games for 3 1/2 hours, laser tag, and shenanigans ruled Main Event for more than three hours. I think we left at around 5:30. I didn't bowl at all (because I'm horrible at it) but I played some extreme laser tag (second best on my team, thank you very much) and beat Meredith at air hockey three times. I did that weird roller coaster simulator and a race thing that just bounced you around a lot and I almost fell asleep. I hit several walls and made it through all of them--somehow.

All this time, I was in a car with a couple of the other student leaders and not the bus. The bus was a little...chaotic, to say the least. Then some girls got lost but not really. They just got on the wrong bus, so we just took them to the last destination, which was a church of Christ in Flower Mound. It was now 6:15 in the morning. We ate donuts and then the leaders left for the student center to get the t-shirts situated and ready for the kids to be picked up.

I got home at 7:30 and was still feeling pretty awake, but I knew that if I laid down, I would fall asleep and not wake back up for a while. I took a shower, got ready for church, and stayed awake through Sunday school. But during the sermon I started to fall. Within fifteen minutes, I was almost falling off the pew because I was sleeping. So having my aunt on staff at church came in handy when I went into her office and quickly fell asleep.

After lunch (which I somehow managed to stay awake during), I went home, put on pajamas, took out my contacts, and climbed into bed where I slept for more than five hours. Though TBT was fun, I will never, ever try to pull an all-nighter again.

So, good night world. Value your sleep.

No more of this crying business. LAUGH, FOOL, LAUGH

Today, in my English class, I was writing something for a book analysis. In the book, Wuthering Heights, one of the characters is bitten by a dog. When I was writing that down, I accidentally said, "Catherine was bitten by a dawg" instead of "dog". Because I enjoy letting people think that I'm a lunatic, I just sat at my seat laughing hysterically. My shoulders shaking, my sides hurting, and my inability to get a breath in or explain why the heck I'm laughing so much when nothing happened to make me laugh.

This post is basically going to be funny things that happen in my life. Hope your day is made.

My brother and I pulled up to my house right as these neighborhood kids were walking past it. They didn't know we were in the car when they walked on our front lawn to look at some grass company sign. Tanner, my brother, looks at me with raised eyebrows and goes, "Honk at them." With a giggle, I laid on the horn. All three of them jumped and turned to look at me and my brother cracking up.

Another time Tanner was in the car with me, we were driving down our street when some car was just stopped dead in the middle of the road. I'm a nice driver, so I decided to wait a few minutes to see if they would see me behind them and then move. I gently rested my head on my steering wheel, but hit the horn's sweet spot and it went off for a good three seconds before I realized that 1. it was me honking on accident and 2. I was being rude. Tanner, of course, was laughing like an idiot. But the car moved, so it was okay.

I'm in this forensic science class at my school and there are about seven people who all hang out and cause a ruckus in class (I would be part of that group). We were working on this project that required filming out in the hallway and I decided that I got bored with just standing, so I started river dancing. My friend Alyssa, though, had the camera on and started recording my river dancing. Everyone was laughing and I guess we were being really loud because my teacher came out into the hall just in time to see the last few seconds of my supreme dancing skills. Then I fell down because I was laughing so hard. Good times.

My cousin Scott (age 6) tends to not speak efficiently. He'll repeat the first word of his sentence multiple times before rushing the rest of his sentence out. For example, he'll say, "Um um um um um Linley? CanIhavesomeicecreamplease?" There's your background information. So there was one time he was over at my house. We had all ordered pizza and he was going in search of the cheese. There were three boxes on the counter and he didn't know which one was the cheese, so he starts to say, "I'm looking for the cheese..." but in the middle of his sentence, he found it. So here's what he actually said, "I'm, I'm, I'm...yay! A cheese!" In that same meal, he thanked Jesus for his dancing moves in the last part of his prayer.

My favorite pair of shoes are my Topsider Sperrys. They're comfortable and go with almost everything, but they have a major problem: they never, ever stay tied. So I frequently ask my friend Brittany (forensics buddy) to tie them. Once I made the mistake and asked my other friend Ben (forensics and English buddy) to tie them. They ended up with the laces out of them because I wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. And whenever I ask my brother to tie them, he responds with, "You're a senior in high school! Tie your own dang shoes!" But because they don't stay tied when I tie them, I just end up tripping all the way down the hallway. So awkward.

Today, I was reading a children's book for a project and a peanut fell out of it.

I was in my room the other day (over Christmas break) when Tanner came in, climbed in my bed, and said "Night night!" Because I'm used to his antics, I ignored him for a while and just kept Facebook chatting or whatever. Then I look back and he's got my Snuggie, another blanket, and a pillow and has made himself a bed on my window seat--which is about a foot in width. Needless to say, he did not last long on the window seat.

I've decided that my economics teacher is the most clueless man on earth. I have tweeted, texted, Facebook chatted, played hundreds of games of iTouch checkers, and written song lyrics in the past semester and he hasn't caught any of it.

I had a dream a few weeks ago that I stabbed this sophomore from my church with the sword of Gryffindor and patched it up with tissues. Then I sent him down a water slide and the whole time he was crying. I woke up the next morning feeling horrified that I'd stabbed Dustan only to find that it was a dream. That might have been the most relieved I've ever been.

Uh yeah. This is my life. Welcome.

I can't think of an accurate title for this post...

I go to this camp in Tyler, TX called Pine Cove. It's a Christian camp where I've had pretty much all of my spiritual revelations and some of my best memories and conquered some of my worst fears. The people are awesome, the Club ("sessions" or talks) is fantastic, worship time is my favorite, and the shenanigans are constant. On Friday night of each week, the campers write a letter to themselves and it will be sent out at some point over the next school year. I got mine today and it was such a great encouragement to press on through the last leg of high school. So here's what I wrote initially:

Hey guess what?! If you're reading this, it means that you're alive and surviving without the class of 2010. You've probably had a busy social life and know for sure where you're going to college, if you're going to be a Baby Ruth, and where the 2011 86:12 trip is going to be. So for the 8/6/10 Linley, those things are rather mind blowing. Here are a few things to keep in mind though.

1. Do try your very best to not judge/gossip. It's hard but you know that life is hard. So suck it up.

2. God has a plan.

3. Your core is cracked, splintered, broken, screwed-up, and is only holding together because Chris Jesus who lives, somehow, in you and all of your disaster.

4. Read Romans. Go.

5. Doubting God or anything about Him? Go outside.

6. There's hope. Always. God would NOT make a hopeless world.

7. If it takes hell coming in to make you cry out to God and realize that you desperately need a savior, bring it.

8. All sin is looked at in the same way, so don't think for a second that you are better than anyone.

9. You don't deserve grace, so don't take it for granted.

Um yes. Just look back at all of the journal entries and the Bible study book for anything else. And, you know, the Bible always works too.

You're living to glorify God. So act like it! Keep the faith.

I'm a fairly straight-forward person. Or so I like to think. Anyway, I'll just address everything on it's own and in ANOTHER list. Lists keep things organized, okay? That's why I like them so much. But this number one won't be the number one in the above "remember this!" list. I'll make sure to clarify what I'm addressing.

1. Yeah, I'm living without the class of 2010 being in the same town as me. Notice I said "living" and not "surviving". There's a significant difference. I still talk to all of my friends who just graduated and, amazingly, it almost doesn't feel like they've been gone. What a blessing. Yes, my social life has been great fun but not overwhelming. My life is pretty dang good.

2. Yes, I'm going to A&M. Something that the August 6th version of myself was only hoping for.

3. No, I'm not going to be a Baby Ruth. A Baby Ruth is an intern at Pine Cove and it's a five week program designed to help you become a more Godly woman, but it's so much more than that. However, I really haven't felt God pushing me that way. He's got something else for me, I just don't quite know what.

4. Mission trip 2011: NEW YORK CITAYYY

5. I really am trying to not judge. If I'm going to be honest, the not gossiping thing is much more difficult and I'm not so good at that. Not judging is getting better though.

6. God's plan is a powerful one and something that I'll never be understand. But I'm okay with that.

7. I'm so broken. He is the master healer. That's all I need to know.

8. I don't know what I instructed myself to read Romans. But I'm getting on that ASAP. A chapter a day keeps the devil away!

9. I haven't doubted God lately because I've been basking in Him too much. Who said too much of a good thing was bad? They should be knocked silly.

10. I AM hopeful. I am nothing if not hopeful.

11. Hello hurricane. You may be large, but I've got a God who is bigger. And at the first sign of danger, I'm going to cling to Him with everything I've got, despite the fact that you'll pull at me as hard as you can.

12. If I have learned anything, it's that I'm not better than anyone--ever. I sin, you sin, we sin. It's all sin. It's all dirty. It's only black or white, no grey.

13. As I said before, if His grace is an ocean, let me drown.

14. The faith is being kept.

End. Of. Story.

And this is me surrendering.

Dear God,

I've realized that girls in the 21st century have a problem: we pursue boys. We're not supposed to. It's tradition. The boys chase the girls. It's Biblical. Girls need to let the boy come to them. And girls are straying away from that.

This needs to stop, ASAP.

My first relationship (and, to date, my only one) was brought about by my initiative. At the time, it wasn't weird. Or, I didn't think of it as weird. But others did. And now I look back and think, "Well that relationship was great, but he needed to chase me. I didn't let him do that." So now I'm turning to You, God, do put Mr. Right in my life.

Because, let's be honest, he's not going to come any other way, right? Right.

Proverbs 31:30 is one of my verses that I try to live my life by. It says this: "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Get what that's saying?

I can be as cute and flirty and whatever as I want. But I won't be like that all the time. Or even most of the time. My happy attitude is deceptive, because I (along with many of my other friends) am a pro at pretending I'm okay. I should win some acting award. I can put on a good face and be that charming young lady you would expect me to be. But, more often than I'll admit, I'm faking it.

And as for the fleeting beauty? My worldly beauty flees when I get out of the shower. I mean really. No makeup, my hair is crazy, and I'm normally wearing pajamas and glasses and my retainer. No one wants to see me looking like that--not even me. But even when I'm looking my best, makeup done perfectly and hair straightened just right, it'll go away. But despite my changing appearance, I'm the same person. And I still have faith in You. That never leaves. So, men of the world, if you're attracted to how I look, you will be let down. Because I will uglify myself in due time.

But, God, I do fear You. I fear You and I love You and I put my faith in You. You know me inside and out. I can't hide from You--it is literally impossible. You see my darkest thoughts and my best hair days.

So, God, here's what I'm doing. I want you to take my love life. It is now Yours. I don't want any control over it whatsoever. Because, as I have come to realize, every time I want to make some boy "like" me, it doesn't happen. Because I wasn't made to get some boy to "like" me. That would be Your job. And, clearly, Sir Husband has not arrived yet. And I'm okay with that. More than okay with that. I'm not ready for him yet. We both know that. I get that I probably won't know when I actually am ready for him. But You will. And that's when he'll come and chase me. That's when he'll do things he would never do for any other girl. You'll tell him the time is right just like You'll prep me for him.

God, I'm excited for that. I'm giddy with just the thought of You putting that guy in my life at just the right time. Because, God, I'm so through with chasing the guy. I'm done. Hold me to this promise. Make sure I keep it, or try to. I'm going to a school that's 60% guys and it's a golden opportunity to find my man if I really go looking. But I don't want to go looking. So I won't. I'm going to be...Linley. I'm going to be me who is waiting patiently for her husband to come but I won't be avidly searching for him, looking far and wide. Nope. I'm going to live. And You'll ready him to chase and You'll ready me to be caught.

I'm trusting you with this, God. Because You did it for my parents. Because You did it for my grandparents. Because You've done it for countless other couples who have influence on my life. So here's my box labeled "BOYS" that I haven't ever let you have before. Ta-da! Happy New Year! Merry Christmas! I'm finally giving it up. And, remember, a gift given is a gift given--no returns.

So, God, I wrote this a Pine Cove this summer. And I don't really know why I feel like it applies here. Maybe because I'm Your creation. I don't know. But I just feel like putting it here:

Creation is not only proof that a magnificent God exists, but a testament in itself telling how powerful He is.

So yeah. I don't know why I felt like putting that.

And now, I will pray for Mr. Hubby.

God, You know him. You know him so well. And, hopefully, he knows you too. I don't know where he is. I don't know how old he is. I don't know what he's interested in. I don't know what color his hair is or if he bites his nails. I don't know if he's tight with his siblings or if he even has siblings. I don't know his initials. I know nothing about this guy who I will one day pledge my love to. I'm going to be honest and admit that the last statement freaks me out. But I want You to let him know, somehow, that I'm praying for him. That I already, in a weird sort of way, love him. And, if he recognizes that You're telling him this, that he'll write it down. God, I pray that you bless him and protect him. Prepare his heart to love me like You love me. Give him the discipline to respect You and, therefore, me. Give him a desire to be a Godly man, husband, and (someday) father. God, I love You and I trust You. Amen.

Most humbly,

Linley

Dear college football analysts: Y'ALL ARE STUPID.

I just would like to laugh at everyone who was all, "Yeah, TCU is good but they just won't do well against Big 10/Pack 10/Big 12/other large football district. They just don't have that skill." Or some variation of that statement.

BECAUSE LOOK WHO JUST BEAT A MAJOR UNIVERSITY. Bet you feel stupid now. Well I don't feel bad for you. Ha, ha, and HA. You need to not undermine little teams anymore. Because you might just end up looking like a big, fat idiot.

Though I am officially an Aggie, I was not stopped from wearing my TCU paraphernalia all day. And I just had this gut feeling that they were going to win. My mom claims that she has sports intuition and I'm starting to think that I do too. As weird as that sounds. No, I don't believe in voodoo or whatever--I'm just intuitive. I called my high school team losing to this one team. And that happened. I called TCU beating Wisconsin. And that happened. SO BOOM.

The TCU/Wisconsin game was basically the top defense in the nation against the top offense in the nation. TCU=defensive and Wisconsin=offensive. And just as I suspected, defense came up on top. My philosophy is this: you can score all the touchdowns you can but if you can't stop the other team, your touchdowns don't necessarily help. TCU had a fast, strong defense that stopped the booming offense of Wisconsin. They didn't stop them by much, just two points, but it was enough.

Tank Carder (yep, Tank is his name) had the clutch play of the game. He had a couple sacks, but his amazing play came in the last three minutes. Wisconsin had just scored and needed a two-point conversion to tie up the game. Their tight end was wide open and Gary Patterson (TCU's coach) had called a blitz. Carder is about to power up the middle when he looked up and saw the Wisconsin quarterback pulling back to throw. Then Carder just...jumps. And tips the ball away. Conversion foiled. Two minutes left in the game.

I love Gary Patterson. He's so classy. After every play for the next two minutes, it became obvious that TCU was going to win but they still had some playing time. A couple guys kept coming at Patterson with the gatorade cooler but every time Patterson said, "The game isn't over. Not yet." And they said, "Yes sir." Those players respect him so much. He runs a tight ship and it pays off--clearly. They're respectful and a great team. Of course, Patterson got drenched. And he was losing his voice because he yelled so much. And he looked like he was about to lose it. But he deserves the Rose Bowl win. He built TCU's program from the ground up. And I will always be a fan.

I'm also obsessed with Andy Dalton. OBSESSED. He's a ginger but he's cute and humble and a great football player. I heard this story about him the other day. So this woman was jogging through Fort Worth, near the TCU campus and rolled her ankle. Andy was driving by in his truck and pulled over to ask her if she needed help. She said yes and he took her to her house. When she got home, she told her husband what happened and that this nice young man took her home. She said he'd only told her that his name was Andy. Then the husband said, "Well, did he have red hair?" and the wife exclaims, "Yeah! He did!". Then the husband starts laughing and tells her that she was picked up by the Andy Dalton. What a cutie. Then, when he was interviewed at the end of the game, he recited a verse from 1st Peter. Gosh, what a great guy.

So, TCU, you get a great, big thumbs up from me. Y'all are seriously awesome. GO FROGS!