No more of this crying business. LAUGH, FOOL, LAUGH

Today, in my English class, I was writing something for a book analysis. In the book, Wuthering Heights, one of the characters is bitten by a dog. When I was writing that down, I accidentally said, "Catherine was bitten by a dawg" instead of "dog". Because I enjoy letting people think that I'm a lunatic, I just sat at my seat laughing hysterically. My shoulders shaking, my sides hurting, and my inability to get a breath in or explain why the heck I'm laughing so much when nothing happened to make me laugh.

This post is basically going to be funny things that happen in my life. Hope your day is made.

My brother and I pulled up to my house right as these neighborhood kids were walking past it. They didn't know we were in the car when they walked on our front lawn to look at some grass company sign. Tanner, my brother, looks at me with raised eyebrows and goes, "Honk at them." With a giggle, I laid on the horn. All three of them jumped and turned to look at me and my brother cracking up.

Another time Tanner was in the car with me, we were driving down our street when some car was just stopped dead in the middle of the road. I'm a nice driver, so I decided to wait a few minutes to see if they would see me behind them and then move. I gently rested my head on my steering wheel, but hit the horn's sweet spot and it went off for a good three seconds before I realized that 1. it was me honking on accident and 2. I was being rude. Tanner, of course, was laughing like an idiot. But the car moved, so it was okay.

I'm in this forensic science class at my school and there are about seven people who all hang out and cause a ruckus in class (I would be part of that group). We were working on this project that required filming out in the hallway and I decided that I got bored with just standing, so I started river dancing. My friend Alyssa, though, had the camera on and started recording my river dancing. Everyone was laughing and I guess we were being really loud because my teacher came out into the hall just in time to see the last few seconds of my supreme dancing skills. Then I fell down because I was laughing so hard. Good times.

My cousin Scott (age 6) tends to not speak efficiently. He'll repeat the first word of his sentence multiple times before rushing the rest of his sentence out. For example, he'll say, "Um um um um um Linley? CanIhavesomeicecreamplease?" There's your background information. So there was one time he was over at my house. We had all ordered pizza and he was going in search of the cheese. There were three boxes on the counter and he didn't know which one was the cheese, so he starts to say, "I'm looking for the cheese..." but in the middle of his sentence, he found it. So here's what he actually said, "I'm, I'm, I'm...yay! A cheese!" In that same meal, he thanked Jesus for his dancing moves in the last part of his prayer.

My favorite pair of shoes are my Topsider Sperrys. They're comfortable and go with almost everything, but they have a major problem: they never, ever stay tied. So I frequently ask my friend Brittany (forensics buddy) to tie them. Once I made the mistake and asked my other friend Ben (forensics and English buddy) to tie them. They ended up with the laces out of them because I wasn't paying attention to what he was doing. And whenever I ask my brother to tie them, he responds with, "You're a senior in high school! Tie your own dang shoes!" But because they don't stay tied when I tie them, I just end up tripping all the way down the hallway. So awkward.

Today, I was reading a children's book for a project and a peanut fell out of it.

I was in my room the other day (over Christmas break) when Tanner came in, climbed in my bed, and said "Night night!" Because I'm used to his antics, I ignored him for a while and just kept Facebook chatting or whatever. Then I look back and he's got my Snuggie, another blanket, and a pillow and has made himself a bed on my window seat--which is about a foot in width. Needless to say, he did not last long on the window seat.

I've decided that my economics teacher is the most clueless man on earth. I have tweeted, texted, Facebook chatted, played hundreds of games of iTouch checkers, and written song lyrics in the past semester and he hasn't caught any of it.

I had a dream a few weeks ago that I stabbed this sophomore from my church with the sword of Gryffindor and patched it up with tissues. Then I sent him down a water slide and the whole time he was crying. I woke up the next morning feeling horrified that I'd stabbed Dustan only to find that it was a dream. That might have been the most relieved I've ever been.

Uh yeah. This is my life. Welcome.