I'm a big kid now?

Sixth grade. I was as nerdy as nerdy could be. No question about it. Glasses, in need of braces, constant ponytail, and in band. You can't get much more geekier than me. So when I walked into the youth group thing on Sunday night for the first time, the senior girls were perfect.

They were amazing. They had perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect clothes, perfect lives. They seemed like they had it all together. They were friends with the leaders and talked to boys without being stupid. If one of them said hi to me, I almost fainted. I was intrigued and jealous of these...women. I aspired to be like them.

But I didn't realize until last night that I am now one of them. I'm one of those fascinating, beautiful, terrifyingly perfect senior girls who looks like she has it all together and seems as if she is the most self-confident woman on the planet. I am perfect.

Or someone might like to think.

I assure you, middle school girls, I am no such thing. Yes, I may be a senior, but I am not the most confident woman on the planet. I am not overly fascinating. I do not have it all together. Do not be afraid of me. And, most importantly, I am not, by any means whatsoever, perfect.

Don't be surprised by these facts.

Can I just express how extremely weird it is to be in the group of senior girls? I am looked up to by tons of girls--some of which I might not even know. I'm not trying to flatter myself. When I was in middle school, I don't think any of those seniors had any idea that I thought so highly of them. I'm really just soaking in the very weird idea that some girl is looking to me to see what she should do.

I'm blown away by that.

But there's my theory: those girls were so incredible to me because I didn't know them. I just stood by in reverence. My plan is to get to know this year's sixth grade, seventh grade, and eighth grade girls so that maybe, just maybe, they'll see that high schoolers aren't nearly as perfect as they are falsely perceived. Only a few times did those girls show an interest in me, but I'm going to change that for you, middle schoolers. I have been changing it. I love middle schoolers, a lot. And, again, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I think it's so important for high schoolers to show genuine interest in the younger ones.

So that's what I'm doing. I don't know if the younguns are looking to me with more awe or with less. But, frankly, I don't care about my awe-factor. I just want to know them and befriend them, grade difference aside.

Maybe I look like the perfect senior girl who has everything under control all the time. But get to know me. And once you do, please laugh with me as we bust the above myth.