When I woke up this morning, my stress level was enough to give me a heart attack. I knew that I would be getting some pretty definitive answers on how my semester and summer was going to look when I woke up to begin the week and that scared the heck out of me.
Thankfully, the week started out with a solid beginning.
Yes, I am going to be a 2012 Impact counselor.
The Lord delivers.
Last night, I prayed that I'd get a foothold so I can get out of this hole that I've been stuck in. The hole of insecurity and fear and the thought that no one wants me. I needed something tangible to grasp to begin the upward climb out. The hole was a deep pit with slick sides. But now the sides are becoming rough and getting a texture. It's more of a rock-climbing wall than a steel tube.
Notice, though, that I'm still 2/3rds stressed. I've still got a phone call from Laity Lodge to answer, good or bad, and a test on Thursday. At this point, I just really want the waiting and anticipation to stop. My face is turning blue because I've been holding my breath for so long. Obviously, this is a strengthening of my ability to patient and I have no choice but to keep going. There's no going back and no giving up. So I'll go the only direction I can: forward.
The promise that Christ will be with me always, no matter what, is my main comfort right now. So as I obsessively check my phone and carry my political science text book everywhere, I know that my summer plans and grades don't matter to the Lord in the material sense. All that He cares about is that He is getting the honor due to Him and He will provide me with the vessels to do that. Whether that's a 4.0 or a job at Laity Lodge or not, He's going to make sure He's given me every opportunity to praise the One who made me.
So onward I go, with my meager patience and ADD personality. He will do great things with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment