The Forgetful God

My parents celebrated their 27th wedding anniversary last week. Yes, you may applaud. I've only been around for almost 23.75 of those, and remember even less of that.

But even those years that I don't remember, I trust that my parents were good. I had no reason to believe otherwise. They fed me. They gave me a bed to sleep in. They bought me a small colony of Barbie's. But they will be the first to raise their hands when someone needs a volunteer for an imperfect set of parents.

It's not that they've done a bad job of raising my siblings and me (quite the contrary, in my biased opinion). They just have a healthy understanding that no one is perfect and, beyond that, no one really knows what they're doing in life. Sure we have things that we're gifted at, but to claim to be perfect at any one thing is absurd.

And the things we're not naturally good at? Please. We're hopeless. We make stupid decisions, say stupid things, think stupid thoughts probably every minute of our lives. Failure, my friends, is an inevitable factor that we have to face.

I'm thankful my parents handle failure well and that they don't seem to beat themselves up over it. They show grace and don't keep score. They love well. I have a hard time forgiving myself when I do something I deem idiotic. It bites at me, a nagging voice that won't let me rest.

It's in these almost daily situations where I have to beg God to remind me of Psalm 103:12. That my sins are as far removed as the east is from the west. My faults are perpetually being pulled in the opposite direction of me. He guides me to him and repels sin. He teaches humility--even when it feels embarrassing. He forgives. He distributes grace without hesitation.

I don't know if you've noticed, but music is a really dominant aspect of my life. Christian rap has been something I've gotten into more recently (Lecrae, Andy Mineo, KB, etc). I stumbled across a lesser known rapper called Flame, and his song "Start Over" has been on repeat through my head. Not because I necessarily feel like I need to turn a blank page, but it's just such a cool reminder of the Gospel. My favorite line is this:

"Thrown in a sea of forgetfulness--what sin? what offense? And when the waves come crashing in, He'll calm the winds in your defense."

I always want to pump my fist to that. What sin? (pump). What offense? (pump). It's so powerful.

After we call on Christ to forgive us, he chunks our dirty laundry into the ocean so we can move forward. He is not a holy scoreboard. He forgives and forgets because he loves us. Holding onto our weights drags us away from him. So he throws them further than we can and asks, "What exactly was preventing our closeness?"

It's our job to let him get rid of it, to forgive our mistakes, and to move on.

Maybe one day we'll figure it all it. But until then, all we can do is forgive.