So, this summer, I didn't want to babysit. I needed a real job and learn how to do a professional interview and have taxes taken out of my paycheck and have a boss. Something to put on the resumé, if you will. I needed to go through training of some variety. And I wanted a flexible schedule. You don't really have that with babysitting, interestingly enough.
Where am I working, you ask? Legoland Discovery Center, to be all official. But most just call it Legoland. Within a week, I applied, interviewed, and got the job. It was a pretty quick turnaround, for which I was grateful. I've already made around $85 in the 2 days I've "worked". And it was just for training. So, sweet. This summer, I'll be doing annoying "grown-up" things, which consist of taking 6 hours of classes at the community college and working.
The majority of my summer will be spent with lots of screaming children and lots of Lego paraphernalia, which will be a stark difference to how my life generally works. I'm a low-key, relaxed, social but not outgoing kind of girl. I am not a constant flow of energy. So this job is going to test me in several ways (patience, tolerance, general perkiness, etc).
The one thing that I really wanted to do this summer was work at a camp (no secret there). Obviously, I didn't get that. And I've been just taking this job opportunity for granted and even downgrading it. But this summer is going to be bigger than just running a ride or cleaning 3D glasses. This summer is going to be learning how to not have my bubble of support and still function as 1. a normal human being and 2. a child pursuing her Maker. At A&M, I am always surrounded by people my age and at my stage in life running to the Lord with me. People I'm deeply close with and who know me so well that they can sometimes read my mind. Here, I don't really have that. My parents know me extremely well, of course. But they're a generation ahead of me. My circle of girls who have seen me breakdown and who have seen me laugh so hard that I can't breathe isn't here. In fact, all of them are at least 2 hours away from me right now.
"I Am A Seed" by David Crowder is playing on my computer right now. It talks about being pushed down into the ground, being trampled, not feeling like I can rise up again. Not feeling okay. I'm anxiously waiting for August to swing back around so I can grow. But I can start growing/learning now. I don't have to wait for the bubble to float back. Maybe I just need a summer of me and God and learn what it means to be relying on Him for everything and knowing to go to Him first. Because time and time again, I've thought of something I needed to tell my friends and pushed up to go across the hall, where two of my best friends lived. But then I come back to reality and see that I'm home, not in College Station. And that whatever I'm feeling doesn't need to be sent out in a message for someone to see, but put in a prayer journal or just spoken aloud to the One who hears everything.
And while I know what it means to get over the radio at Legoland and say "Delta one, code three is green", that won't be the valuable information I go back to A&M with. There is a much better prize to looking through a different sort of manual.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
The wind down
I am sitting at my desk at home, remembering how College Station disappeared in my rearview mirror. After nine months of living somewhere, being with the same 20 or so people, and creating near unbreakable bonds and unforgettable memories, my freshman year of college comes to a close.
After years of dreaming about it, one year of planning it, and several hours packing for it, somehow, it happened. I don't know where my 2011-2012 school year has gone, but suddenly, it is. How on earth did I get from hitting the "I will attend Texas A&M University" button to planning my move-out? My brain is blown.
Looking back, I see how big this year has been for me. I'm a completely different person from move-in day to right now. This year has been a lot of growing, a lot of maturing, and really understanding that my life is not my own. God is bigger, better, stronger, smarter than anything I can conjure up or plan out. My life is putty in his hands. And he has made that perfectly clear to me this year. I'm overwhelmed with how I've been blessed in such a short time period. The lessons I've learned are almost countless, ranging from big--like what I'm supposed to do with my life and self discovery--and small--like knowing what I should be involved in next year.
But here's a few things I've been taught, just so you know I'm not spit-balling here.
1. I struggled a lot with inadequacy this year and feeling like I was not enough for anything. When people needed great, I was just good. When they needed good, I was average. That kind of thing. But I realized that I don't need to be enough. 2 Corinthians 2:19 has become one of my favorite verses. It says, "But he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' So I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power might be made perfect in me." So...BOOM!
2. Yes, I describe my English classes as my "fun" classes. And am completely serious. Come at me.
3. Peace. Instead of needing to be more, I honestly just need to chill out. Whatever is stressing me out, I need to let go. It sounds like an obvious statement, but college has given me a new definition of "stress" that I didn't know in high school. With that, Philippians 4:7 talks to me directly with "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
4. If you hate physics, DO NOT take astronomy.
5. God is good. This was told to me multiple times (hey Ethan) but I really, really started believing how absolutely true it was towards the middle of spring semester. "Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting." Psalm 107:1
6. The ocean is way more complex than the average person thinks. And has about a bajillion currents effected by random stuff. There's a little bit of science for ya.
7. Husband hunting shouldn't exist. Be patient. Make friends. Laugh. Focus on school and friendships. But, above all, run at full tilt towards the Lord. And only when you blaze by a guy who is running the same direction will you be ready to be chased. So you will be. "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." (translation: don't try to fall in love when you aren't ready) Song of Solomon 2:7. And guys? Keep running. You'll find her by noticing the one who is running so fast after the Lord that she makes a wake of wind as she flies by you.
And there you have it. My freshman year lessons in the nutshell.
After years of dreaming about it, one year of planning it, and several hours packing for it, somehow, it happened. I don't know where my 2011-2012 school year has gone, but suddenly, it is. How on earth did I get from hitting the "I will attend Texas A&M University" button to planning my move-out? My brain is blown.
Looking back, I see how big this year has been for me. I'm a completely different person from move-in day to right now. This year has been a lot of growing, a lot of maturing, and really understanding that my life is not my own. God is bigger, better, stronger, smarter than anything I can conjure up or plan out. My life is putty in his hands. And he has made that perfectly clear to me this year. I'm overwhelmed with how I've been blessed in such a short time period. The lessons I've learned are almost countless, ranging from big--like what I'm supposed to do with my life and self discovery--and small--like knowing what I should be involved in next year.
But here's a few things I've been taught, just so you know I'm not spit-balling here.
1. I struggled a lot with inadequacy this year and feeling like I was not enough for anything. When people needed great, I was just good. When they needed good, I was average. That kind of thing. But I realized that I don't need to be enough. 2 Corinthians 2:19 has become one of my favorite verses. It says, "But he said to me 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' So I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power might be made perfect in me." So...BOOM!
2. Yes, I describe my English classes as my "fun" classes. And am completely serious. Come at me.
3. Peace. Instead of needing to be more, I honestly just need to chill out. Whatever is stressing me out, I need to let go. It sounds like an obvious statement, but college has given me a new definition of "stress" that I didn't know in high school. With that, Philippians 4:7 talks to me directly with "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
4. If you hate physics, DO NOT take astronomy.
5. God is good. This was told to me multiple times (hey Ethan) but I really, really started believing how absolutely true it was towards the middle of spring semester. "Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting." Psalm 107:1
6. The ocean is way more complex than the average person thinks. And has about a bajillion currents effected by random stuff. There's a little bit of science for ya.
7. Husband hunting shouldn't exist. Be patient. Make friends. Laugh. Focus on school and friendships. But, above all, run at full tilt towards the Lord. And only when you blaze by a guy who is running the same direction will you be ready to be chased. So you will be. "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." (translation: don't try to fall in love when you aren't ready) Song of Solomon 2:7. And guys? Keep running. You'll find her by noticing the one who is running so fast after the Lord that she makes a wake of wind as she flies by you.
And there you have it. My freshman year lessons in the nutshell.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Delta Asher 2012
There are a number of things I should be doing right now (packing, cleaning, studying, sleeping, etc). But I'm not. Instead, I'm listening to my heathen mix made by 17 of the greatest people I know and writing how much I love these people.
Delta Asher. Two seemingly meaningless words to the average person. But I can't describe the flood of memories, emotions, and laughter that comes to mind when I see or hear those two words. But let's start at the beginning.
At Texas A&M, there's this incredible thing called Impact--a Christian fish camp that seeks to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ and plug the incoming A&M class into the body of Christ at A&M. Pretty sweet, right? I was a camper at Impact last year and am now a counselor--something that I never thought I'd say. All first semester of freshman year, I wanted to be a counselor, but after being rejected from summer camps over and over, my confidence in my counseling ability faded to nothing. After going to an informational for Impact, I really heard the voice of God tell me to apply. That was the first time in a long time that I'd been paying attention enough for him to scream through my barriers and tell me exactly what I was supposed to do.
And I did.
I'm crying right now (shocking) because I'm just so freaking happy that I listened. Mariah, Jevon, Ashley, Jackson, Dani, Preston, Emma, Eric, Paige, Nick, Ella, Benjamin, Helen, David (Dragon), Lindsey, Blake, and Brady became 17 of the most important people in my life. Every Monday night, we gathered together to worship, pray, laugh, cry (mostly me), and plan for August 8-11 where we will FINALLY meet the freshman the Lord wants us to get to know and love on and pursue. And I couldn't have asked for better co-chairs (Mariah and Jevon), better prayer leaders (Ashley and Jackson), a better partner (Brady), and a better team to work with. To say I've been blessed is a massive understatement.
Last night was our last meeting as a camp before we reconvene August 6th for pre-camp workdays. This semester has flown by and it's time for summer. Am I ready to leave them? Heck no. I never will be. I can't wait for August. But this summer will be for growth, preparation, and pure excitement. It will be good. I'll miss them all like a crazy person (if it's possible for me to get any crazier) but I know that this summer will make jumping into their arms in August that much sweeter.
Today is registration day for Impact. It's crazy to think that some of the girls in my small group (BG) are signing up today. WEIRD. But also extremely exciting. I am just so pumped for August I can barely stand it.
Delta Asher, I love y'all. I wish I knew how to say how much I loved y'all, but the words aren't coming right now. You've all impacted me in some way, encouraged me in every way, and made me thankful that I've got so many awesome people running after the Lord with me. To quote Jevon, "we won Impact."
"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13
Couldn't have said it better, Big Poppa.
Delta Asher. Two seemingly meaningless words to the average person. But I can't describe the flood of memories, emotions, and laughter that comes to mind when I see or hear those two words. But let's start at the beginning.
At Texas A&M, there's this incredible thing called Impact--a Christian fish camp that seeks to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ and plug the incoming A&M class into the body of Christ at A&M. Pretty sweet, right? I was a camper at Impact last year and am now a counselor--something that I never thought I'd say. All first semester of freshman year, I wanted to be a counselor, but after being rejected from summer camps over and over, my confidence in my counseling ability faded to nothing. After going to an informational for Impact, I really heard the voice of God tell me to apply. That was the first time in a long time that I'd been paying attention enough for him to scream through my barriers and tell me exactly what I was supposed to do.
And I did.
I'm crying right now (shocking) because I'm just so freaking happy that I listened. Mariah, Jevon, Ashley, Jackson, Dani, Preston, Emma, Eric, Paige, Nick, Ella, Benjamin, Helen, David (Dragon), Lindsey, Blake, and Brady became 17 of the most important people in my life. Every Monday night, we gathered together to worship, pray, laugh, cry (mostly me), and plan for August 8-11 where we will FINALLY meet the freshman the Lord wants us to get to know and love on and pursue. And I couldn't have asked for better co-chairs (Mariah and Jevon), better prayer leaders (Ashley and Jackson), a better partner (Brady), and a better team to work with. To say I've been blessed is a massive understatement.
Last night was our last meeting as a camp before we reconvene August 6th for pre-camp workdays. This semester has flown by and it's time for summer. Am I ready to leave them? Heck no. I never will be. I can't wait for August. But this summer will be for growth, preparation, and pure excitement. It will be good. I'll miss them all like a crazy person (if it's possible for me to get any crazier) but I know that this summer will make jumping into their arms in August that much sweeter.
Today is registration day for Impact. It's crazy to think that some of the girls in my small group (BG) are signing up today. WEIRD. But also extremely exciting. I am just so pumped for August I can barely stand it.
Delta Asher, I love y'all. I wish I knew how to say how much I loved y'all, but the words aren't coming right now. You've all impacted me in some way, encouraged me in every way, and made me thankful that I've got so many awesome people running after the Lord with me. To quote Jevon, "we won Impact."
"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." Galatians 5:13
Couldn't have said it better, Big Poppa.
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