All in perspective

So I'm currently sitting in this lounge area by my dorm, doing chapter quizzes for my astronomy class. In the last 48 hours, I've probably studied during 24-26 of them and I'm still going nuts. I'm going to have sweet dreams of the 1050 Crusades and accretion disks flattening to become stars. Welcome to finals week, reader.

Here's my schedule: On Friday (tomorrow), I have 2 finals back-to-back. Astronomy and anthropology. Hopefully I'll be done testing by 4ish or so. When I sell those text books, I'll head back to my room to maybe take a nap and watch a show that I missed. Then I'll probably study or work on my English paper that's due on Sunday at midnight (though I plan to have it finished by the time I go to bed on Saturday so Sunday can be devoted to geography and history). On Monday, after a long weekend of studying, I'll get up and take my geography of Texas exam at 10:30, which ends at 12:30. At 1, my last final begins in my history class and by the time 3 o'clock comes around, I'll be free. Textbook-less, stress-less, and fearless, you will know one happy girl.

I cannot wait until Monday at 3. But I have a lot to truck through before I get there. 4 exams and a paper that I've been stressing about and studying for. And I'm losing motivation and strength. When I say that Monday afternoon can't come soon enough, I'm dead serious. I'm practically counting the hours.

But the fact of the matter is that it's 5 grades. All this stress and anxiety will amount to no large feat or moment in my life. Right now, it seems like a big deal, but in 5 years I'm not going to be thinking "Wow, that geography class was so important in my life" or something. No. I probably won't think about these classes (except for my English class) again after this semester.

What I'm getting at is that how I do in these classes is not going to determine the rest of my life. I'm not going to be rejected for a job because I got a B in my freshman history class. What's going to matter is the decisions I made outside the classroom. Who I spent my time with, what I invested in, where my hope was. And if I spent time with people who didn't love the Lord, if I didn't invest in my academics or my faith, and if my hope was in my studying abilities, I'll have to consider my first semester of college a failure.

Thankfully, it hasn't been. I've been blessed beyond all comparison with amazing friends, priority checks, and humbling circumstances that pushed me to put my hope in the infallible One. The Lord loves me regardless of the fact that I didn't make straight A's. He doesn't expect me to do more than what I'm capable of and what I can't do, He does. I succeed through Him and when I trust in only myself, I fall. But I'm caught in His arms.

I'm safe. I'm loved. I have a bright and beautiful future.

Finals, you ain't got nothin' on Him.