Practicality vs. Passion

I registered for my classes last week at A&M. It was stressful but fairly exciting and I now have my first semester of college somewhat planned out. At least on an academic standpoint. But here's how it went down.

I'm an English major in the college of Liberal Arts. Within my major, there are four tracks that you can take  to get you all graduated: Literature, rhetoric, middle school education, and creative writing. You can pretty much only choose one track but can have elective choices. So, naturally, my first instinct was to go directly to the creative writing. My parents knew that. I knew that. It was settled.

Except, when my analytical dad thought about it, he didn't think it was logical. If I'm talented, do I need creative writing as my focus? Most authors didn't major in creative writing; they had "real" jobs before they became famous (James Patterson, Rick Riordan, JK Rowling, etc) for the written word. In fact, Rick Riordan was a middle school teacher himself before Percy Jackson took off in a whirlwind of Greek mythology. Being a middle school teacher, my parents deduced, would get me a job after college that had a steady income. When I pointed out that teachers make squat, my mom asked how much unpublished novelists made.

Needless to say, I was knocked down a few pegs.

So I ended up with the middle school education track.

Don't get me wrong; I love, love, love teaching. The year I spent shadowing a 7th grade Language Arts teacher was the most eye-opening and fun I had in high school. It was an absolute blast and I would love to teach. But for me, writing comes first. My brain boils down to one simple fact: writing>teaching. It's the truth.

I will still take creative writing courses as my elective (maybe I can teach creative writing at a middle school...best of both worlds?) but part of me is still longing to go with the less logical, less paid track that won't guarantee me anything. That is one risk that I want to take. But then there's the terribly logical part of me that's saying, "Stupid. No. Do not focus on creative writing if you want your own place when you graduate."

I've always been told to follow my dreams, but no one ever told me that my dreams would conflict and not make sense. I guess that comes with the title, right? I mean, look at every character Disney has ever made. Pinocchio wanted to be a real boy and he almost got eaten by a whale. Snow White was nearly poisoned by an apple. Cinderella's beauty had a curfew. Belle fell in love with Big Foot.

If Disney based a movie off of me, it would be the lamest one ever. Poor Linley, the struggling author who can't make up her mind. Yeah, that'd be a blockbuster. Sold-out midnight premier. A doll made after me, scratching her head and holding a notebook and pen.

Yes, this is a pity party.

Anyways, my end resolution was this: focus on middle school education, take creative writing electives, and maybe go to graduate school and get a masters in fiction writing. It's tentative but it's a plan.


I am...

Listening to: "Mean" by Taylor Swift
Looking forward to: VBS tomorrow!
Procrastinating: Taking a shower
Thinking about: My educational angst
Wondering: How everything is going to turn out
Reflecting over: God's plan