You gotta cry before you sing

I feel like Five For Fighting hit the nail on the head with this line from their song "Chances". I mean, how true is that? There's no way you can feel relief if there's nothing to be relieved from, right?
This year has been such a hills-and-valleys year. My stress level has both shot to the sky and bottomed out. Sometimes this happens in the same day.
I remember at Winter Weekend, I was so relieved when it was worship time because I needed it. I needed it like air, like water. Like any necessity. It was just...something that I had to do. And it felt fantastic. But I need more than just an awesome weekend to let it all out or look forward to. After WW it was like, "So, when's summer?"

Now, with only 13 days left of my junior year, I've come to the realization that my heart might burst on June 5th. Just explode. Why? Well, here's a few reasons...
1. My last SAT will be that day (and I know it'll be my last SAT because this is it. I feel like I'm going to rock it. Not only am I super prepared, but I've got a God who can move a mountain with his breath.)
2. I'll be done with the most stressful year of my life.
3. College applications start. Oh my gosh, it's already here?!
4. Junior year will be OVER. Can I get an amen?
5. I'll be getting my results for this writing contest I entered any day.

And a whole slew of other things.
But I have to endure first. I have to go through the SAT classes. I have to pass my finals. I need to get my grades up more if I'm going to have any shot at A&M. Junior year, as of now, is still going. I'm not done. I still have to be patient for the contest results.
And I am not a person gifted with the virtue of patience.
My "crying" isn't over yet. I haven't washed my hands of the school year quite yet. I still have to last, tears and breakdowns included.
But the joyful singing I'll be praising God with when I step out of that SAT test is going to be so worth it. Worth everything I've gone through this year. My voice, not beautiful to anyone else, will be God's most prized possession.
I'll sing, laugh, dance like a fool. I'll be like David when the Ark of the Covenant came back; dancing for everyone to see and not caring what people will say about me.
To cry before you sing is like a rainbow after a storm; horrible at first, beautiful in the end.