So, about a million years ago, my friend burned me this CD with a bunch of FM Static songs on it. FM Static was big in the late 1990s/early 2000s. Good stuff. Early tonight, I had to run a few errands (okay fine, so I was getting the new Rick Riordan book and contact solution...those are in order of priority level) and was listening to the CD. Like it I said, it was probably the first mix CD I ever got. Ancient history, back in the days of 6th grade and fashionable Hollister shirts.
But, as I jam, there was this one line that really stuck out to me in the song "Crazy Mary". The line is "she can run, but let's teach her how to walk away." Translation: She can run away from whatever she thinks is bad for her, but she can't say "no" to (insert destructive action here). I can't lie, it sticks out for some reason. I've heard this song a hundred times or more but I never really payed attention to that line. And it's the most important line in the song.
If we're honest with ourselves, we realize that we run from too much. I run from rejection. If I feel like there's a chance I'm going to get hurt because someone doesn't want to talk to me or hang out or whatever, I flee like the little girl I not-so-secretly am. I haul tail away from that relationship and pull myself back--fast. Some people run from truth; they're afraid that someone will tell them what they're doing is seriously wrong, so they try to escape. Others run from themselves. They put on the smile and pretend that everything is all hunky-dorey but are torn up inside. Yeah, I speak from experience. The truth thing, not so much. But trying to run from myself...uh, yes. Welcome to all of middle school and a fair portion of high school. Pesky insecurities. Always cropping up.
So I know how to run. Metaphorically. Spiritually. Emotionally. Not so much physically.
But teaching someone how to walk away? That's something entirely different.
Think about it. "Running away" has a fairly negative connotation, does it not? If they run from their fears, they're cowards. But if they "walk away" from something that's hindering them, that gets a big thumbs-up from people. Like, "Oh, good! He's walking away from the alcohol!" or "Look at her! She's walking away from that boyfriend--he's been so bad to her." We're praised for that, and rightfully so. Stepping away from something, anything, like that is an accomplishment. But, as we all know, some people can't stop.
Everyone says you need to walk before you can run. I disagree. Sometimes, you have to sprint before you can slow down. When babies learn to walk, they normally don't take slow, measured steps, do they? Absolutely not. They take rushed, clumsy steps. Once they can stay on their feet, they rarely slow down to walk. Either they run or they stand. There's no in-between.
Humans are runners. We book it when something we don't like is going down. We don't like to walk away from something that we like but that may not be good for us. It's against our nature.
The end.
I am...
Listening to: "Crazy Mary" by FM Static
Looking forward to: Actually reading Rick Riordan's book instead of just staring at it on my nightstand
Procrastinating: Taking a shower...again.
Thinking about: Percy Jackson. Yes, the book character. I just finished rereading the series and came close to tears. He's on the mind.
Wondering: Why it takes me so long and so much motivation to just get in the dang shower.
Reflecting over: Senior year. 23 more school days until graduation.
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